fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2487 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2487 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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[Vincent D'Onofrio in "Adventures in Babysitting"]

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03.

[Legend of Korra]

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04.

[The Little Mermaid]

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05.

[Twin Peaks]

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06.

[Moby Dick]

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07.

[American Horror Story]

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08.

[Ian McKellan and Patrick Stewart]

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09.

[Supernatural]

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10.

[Yogscast]

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11.

[Welcome to Night Vale]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #355.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nope. I still have no desire to have sex with anyone or be in a sexual relationship. Asexual works for me.

This is what bothers me about asexuals (particularly those who are romantically but not physically interested in people) labeling themselves based on how much sex they are not having. It makes it sound like hetero-, homo-, bi-, what-have-you-sexual people are just constantly fucking their brains out because they have to act on their physical urges.

It's not a label based on how much sex I am not having, it's a label based on the fact that I have no desire to ever have sex. And fwiw, I don't think people are just constantly fucking their brains out or full of uncontrollable urges or anything. I just assume other people actually have desire to have sex at some point in their life. I also assume that most people would think of sex as a given in any romantic relationship.

I also assume that most people would think of sex as a given in any romantic relationship.

I agree with a lot of what you're saying, but this isn't necessarily true.

That's why I said "most people". I don't think it's a universal, but I do think it's a pretty common thought.

ok, I see where you're coming from with that - I'd qualify that some people choose not to have sex in a romantic relationship for a variety of reasons that might or might not have to do with sexual attraction or lack thereof, and might still want to eventually have sex in a romantic relationship.

I don't think it's a very important point in this whole thread, but the whole "sexual people in romantic relationships = must be fucking" thing is kind of annoying to me generally

the whole "sexual people in romantic relationships = must be fucking" thing is kind of annoying to me generally

Oh yeah, no I didn't mean to imply that at all. And you're right, there are a bunch of reasons why people might not have a sexual relationship, asexuality being but one option.

NA

UGH I hate it when asexuality gets dragged into these demi-grey wanks because asexuality makes perfect sense to me. They label themselves according to what kind of sex you want to have, just like gay, straight, or bi people.

DA
Asexuality as absolutely no desire for sex or romance makes sense to me. Asexuals masturbating makes sense to me. Asexuals having crushes and having no strings attached sex and basically doing everything everyone else does but still calling themselves asexual do not make sense to me. Unfortunately they're the majority I've encountered and have really tainted my perception of asexuals as a whole.

I can definitely understand asexuality - no sexual urges, right? An asexual masturbating? Okay, it's a biological urge. Fantasizing about sex and/or reading porn and masturbating? Kind of a grey area, seems suspect but we could say sex with other people is different than self-sex and fantasies. Actually being sexually attracted to people and sometimes having sex? Not really asexual. I wonder if a better term would be "I'm not very sexual"?

I don't know, I have all the faith in the world that asexuality is a thing, but it seems like on the Internet asexual is a very go-to label to sound like a minority.

On the other hand, I'm a big believer that labels aren't always going to fit 100% - if a woman is a lesbian but maybe 1% of the time is interested in men and has had sex with men, she can still call herself a lesbian. I guess asexuality could be similar?

re: your last paragraph: I kind of thought that was self-evident, but many here appear not to agree...

then again, asexuality really by definition is no sexuality. if you on rare occasion have sex and enjoy it more or less, you might just be not very sexual. at that point ID'ing as asexual seems to diminish the actual meaning, especially if you masturbate and fantasize a lot.

And lesbianism by definition is an exclusive attraction to women if you're a woman, so I don't see why diet_poison's point doesn't still stand. Also, now you're saying that people can't be asexual if they masturbate too much? Uh yeah, you just keep making up your own definitions of asexuals there.

I wonder if a better term would be "I'm not very sexual"?

That's called semisexuality now. I just coined the term. Respect it.

Edited 2013-10-25 00:55 (UTC)

Huh. It actually shows up in an ace forum thread from 2003. http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/1629-semisexuality/

This is actually a good idea.

lol

It makes sense to me. but I resent these (blahblah)sexual labels because they seem to want to put themselves in the same group as gay/bi people. and they are not. and who but Internet people would care enough to make their low sex drive their ~identity~?

This. I just found an 'asexual awareness week' fic where the 'asexual' character in question was a huge playboy who had no-strings-attached sex all the time. Lolwut.

I don't know if we're talking about the same fic, but did you read it?

Because I came across one about the same type of character today and then I read the fic and it turned out that in the end he didn't have sex, he was just saying he had sex with lots of people?

So you're saying that you deliberately allow these assholes to color your perceptions of an entire group? Get out, you bigoted fuck.

I non-romantically love you too anon.

Haha, bigoted against asexuals though? lol

[ SECRET POST #2487 ]

ayrt

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