fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2487 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2487 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Vincent D'Onofrio in "Adventures in Babysitting"]

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03.

[Legend of Korra]

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04.

[The Little Mermaid]

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05.

[Twin Peaks]

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06.

[Moby Dick]

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07.

[American Horror Story]

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08.

[Ian McKellan and Patrick Stewart]

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09.

[Supernatural]

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10.

[Yogscast]

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11.

[Welcome to Night Vale]

Notes:

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Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

idk, if you watch gay porn and fantasize about the events happening to you, you kind of are a little gay. bi. whatever. If it's just the act of watching two guys do it, that's different, but if you watch it in terms of your own desires, you are a little bi at least. (and that's okay)

I additionally am a little skeptical of fantasizing/masturbating "asexuals". Because you can still be gay/bi without acting on it or having a desire to be in a same-sex relationship.

I can understand masturbating asexuals though because of stuff like bored wanking where someone is not fantasizing about anything in particular but it feels good.

masturbating makes sense to me. you're hungry, you eat. you don't have to enjoy the food to sate the urge.

fantasizing makes sense to me too, but only because we all agree fantasy =/= reality. or at least i hope we do. im sure there are some kinks that you yourself in fic that you have NO interest in IRL or maybe if you don't, im sure a lot of other people here have that sort of "fantasy only pls, thats hot in FIC ONLY" kink. non-con is a good example. people can find that hot in FIC but in real life its like ...no? thats not sexy at all? stop? for asexuals who fantasize, it's like that only for EVERY kink. none of them carry over to wanting to do things yourself or in person or involving another person.

It's the whole "desire to be in a sexual relationship" that defines the asexuality. Fantasizing and masturbating have nothing to do with actually wanting something, which is where the whole action/attraction =/= orientation thing comes in.

Then if a closet gay guy has no desire to be in a sexual relationship with another guy because they are severely not comfortable with it, is he not actually gay? For that matter, I could be very sexual but not attracted to anyone I meet - maybe I'm just attracted to celebrities, fictional characters, whatever, and real people don't hold up. Am I asexual?

Seems to me like "asexual" does have a clear meaning - lack of sexual feelings, or extremely limited sexual feelings. I get masturbating because it can be a biological urge, but if you're imagining yourself getting fucked? I know fantasy isn't reality, but fantasizing about yourself having sex is an expression of sexuality. Still, if someone who didn't want to have sex with people wanted to call themselves asexual, it's fine, but the criteria seems very inconsistent to what we'd use for homosexuality.

This may not make sense, because it doesn't feel like it should, but bear with me. I've had fantasies that involve sex with characters I'm romantically attracted to, but not sexually attracted. The idea of being sexually attracted to them is just part of the fantasy. Is this making any sense? :\

So you... fantasize about not being asexual?

Sort of. More like I fantasize about being in a relationship with them, so I would be emotionally close enough to them to trigger sexual attraction. And then we would do the do. I did say it wouldn't make much sense.

[ SECRET POST #2487 ]

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