fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2488 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2488 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Sherlock/Irene Adler]

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[Twin Peaks]

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[Kick-Ass 2]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

10. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

11. [WARNING for rape]

[Dramatical Murder]

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12. [WARNING for child abuse]
[tb]
[Bully]

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13. [WARNING for child abuse]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #355.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

To the best of my knowledge, these are all genuine. I heard them at a history honors presentation.

The teacher is reading her students a poem by Ivan Krylov: "Éand God sent the crow a bit of cheese." One student asks, "Is there really a God?" Another asks, "Is there really cheese?"

A group of old friends gather. They all know each other's jokes so well, they have numbered them. "#41!" Laughter. "#19!" Laughter. An uninitiated newcomer joins the evening. He doesn't want to feel left out, so he tries, "#35!" Everyone practically jumps out of their chairs. One points to the wall, another to the ceilin, a third to the telephone.

The deceased Lenin appeared in a dream to Stalin and asked, "How are things?" Stalin replied, "All right, things are difficult, but the people follow me." "You'd better give them a little more bread or they'll all wind up following me."

Stalin's pipe goes missing. Beria begins an investigation. By the end of the day he has arrested a hundred people. The next morning the cleaning lady finds the pipe under Stalin's couch. Stalin phones Beria: "Don't work so hard, Lavrenty. The pipe turned up." Beria replied: "Ok, but what should I do with the prisoners? Ninety-nine already confessed." "One didn't confess?! Better continue the investigation."

At the time of the Stalinist Terror, a family was awakened late at night by a lound pounding on the door. Everyone jumped out of bed, terrified. "Take all your belongings with you!" shouted a voice from outside. "For God's sake, don't be alarmed! It's only me, your next-door neighbor! Don't panic, I've only come to tell you a thing of minor importance: your house is burning down!"

During one of his speeches, Stalin remarked: "I am prepared to give my blood for the cause of the working class--drop by drop!" A note was passed up to the podium which read: "Dear Comrade Stalin, why drag things out? Give it all at once!"

An old woman ran to catch the city bus. "Thank God!" she sighed, having made it. A citizen sitting next to her said: "You expressed that improperly, auntie. You should know that there is no God. You should have said 'Thank Stalin.'" "You're right, son, you're right," said the old woman in agreement. "Excuse me, I'm a little behind the times." But after thinking a while, the old woman asked: "God forbid this should happen, but what am I supposed to say if Stalin should die?" "In that case, perhaps you may say 'Thank God.'"

A man is standing in the Stalin museum in front of a portrait of Josef Stalin's mother. He shakes his head in grief and sorrow and heaves forth a sigh: "Ay, ay, ay! Such a lovely lady. It's a pity she didn't get that abortion in time!"

Rabinovich appeared at an Octoberdemonstration with a sign: "Thank you Comrade Stalin for my happy childhood." The party organizer runs up to him. "What are you trying to do? You're an old man! When you were a child, Stalin wasn't even born yet!" "Yes, and for that I thank him."

Every morning Rabinovich picks up a copy of Pravda at the newspaper kiosk, looks at the front page, and returns to paper. After several days, the vendor asks him what he is ooking for. "An obituary." "The obituaries are on the last page." "The one I'm waiting for will be on the front."

Lololol these are hilarious

Awesome, thanks for posting!

At least something good comes out of this mess of a secret (it may be just the phrasing).

(reply from suspended user)

I don't understand the second one.

The apartment is being bugged by the secret police and joke #35 is subversive.

With the numbered jokes? The idea is the #35 is a politically unacceptable joke you can't tell where it might be overheard, and the house is assumed to be bugged by the secret police.

So do people in Russia not like Stalin? I thought everyone loved him. Or is it a Kim Jong-il thing where you can't say anything bad in public?

Now or then? When I was in Russia, a disturbing number of people I met spoke wistfully of Stalin, though granted they mostly weren't old enough to have actually been alive when he was in power.

This is my understanding as well. And probably it mostly goes to show how shitty the transition to capitalism, 'shock therapy', and the subsequent regime has been - not that they've been worse than Stalin, but that they're bad enough that people would look to Stalin with longing says something.

One of the things that struck me when I was there was the historical continuity that carried through regardless of ideology. The worst failures of Soviet communism resembled the excesses of tsarist Russia; democracy as practiced by the likes of Putin seems not dissimilar to the Soviet era.

Weirdly, I'm a communist (not of the Stalinist bent), and the people waxing nostalgic for Stalin were not remotely communist, or even that political for the most part. But they missed stability, I think. And maybe a high mortality rate is not such a big deal, in context.

[ SECRET POST #2488 ]

Stalin-era Russian jokes

Re: Stalin-era Russian jokes

Re: Stalin-era Russian jokes

Re: Stalin-era Russian jokes

Re: Stalin-era Russian jokes

Re: Stalin-era Russian jokes

Re: Stalin-era Russian jokes

Re: Stalin-era Russian jokes

Re: Stalin-era Russian jokes

Re: Stalin-era Russian jokes