[ SECRET POST #2489 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2489 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #356.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[kaijinscendre]

Nah. Sometimes you have to tell people their behavior is unacceptable. How will they learn?

[bringreligiontothewamwams]

But you don't UNDERSTAND!!! They have ASSBURGERS and they are SPESHUL!!1! You are WRoNG to try and make them BEHAVE and are intolerant of their SPESHULNESS!!!! Fuck you, gonna bite and spit.

See that is what happens if you try to enforce basic standards of behavior at cons. And occasionally you get your breasts pawed at too even after saying stop, because "its just a joke 'honk-'honk'". Course I don't do that too often anymore.

[(Anonymous)]

https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Wetflame

Has been banned from several FB convention pages (not from the actual cons themselves) for arguing and TL;DR, pulls them Asperger card a lot

[manifold]

Normally I'm all about jumping in to go "NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH AUTISM etc.", but right now I'm just recalling the last person who was an utter douche to me and when I tried to go "hey, cut that out, that's not cool," started to lecture me about Asperger's Syndrome as if I had never heard of it in my life.

Dude. A self-diagnosis is not always bullshit, but I sure am going to think YOU are full of bullshit if you're so SJ Lecture Ready that you'll start lecturing ANYONE who criticizes you no matter what their experience with autism is. Yes, you're prone to monologuing, practically all of us are, but there's still a fucking difference between "this is a thing I care about a lot and I am going to ramble endlessly about it with poor tonal communication of my emotions because I can't read 'not interested' cues very well" and "I am king of all I survey and the only autistic person in the entire fucking universe so shut yo mouth and bow to me".

Yes, non-autistic people need to recognize that there's always going to be awkward autistic crap that cannot be willed away by Trying Hard Enough, and just has to be accepted as The Price of Admission if they're going to be around autistic people. But autistic people need to accept that autism is not a Get Out Of Jail Free Card. People have the right to have their reactions to your actions.

The right to not be mistreated and not be abused is not the same as the "right" to never have to work on anything and never be accountable for anything ever. A right is not a right if YOU get to have it, but no one else does.

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP

But I guess there's some uncertainity on how to politely tell someone they're unacceptable? The best I can do is a "woah man personal space" but anymore than that and all I can do is throw them odd looks and frowns 'cause I don't know what to say without causing a fuss :(

[sarastark]

cause a fuss! If someone is touching you inappropriately or hitting someone, cause a fuss!!!

[diet_poison]

Anon, if someone's in your personal space without permission, you DON'T OWE THEM a polite reaction. Make a fucking fuss. It's your right. Yell and tell them to stop touching you.

[(Anonymous)]

Also, geek social fallacies, especially "Ostracizers are evil."

[manifold]

Just want to second (fourth?) that you don't have to be "polite" about it. Even if it's something "innocent" like not knowing not to hug strangers—if you're clear and direct about your boundaries and protecting them and what the fuck you have a problem with, that's providing good information about What Not To Do. Trying to drop hints to someone who legit does not understand doesn't help them understand; it just confuses the fuck out of them, if they notice the hints at all, because hints require people to KNOW first that it's not okay.

tl;dr Be rude. Even if it's awkward, it's better for you and them.

Also, if instead of going "OH FUCK SORRY" and backing off, that person has a tantrum over you asserting your boundaries, all bets are off. Get the fuck away from them. Call security if you need to. That is Not Okay.