[ SECRET POST #2492 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2492 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 028 secrets from Secret Submission Post #356.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

probably someone with an eating disorder tbh

[baranohanayome.livejournal.com]

See, I can sort of see that, but if someone is recovering from an eating disorder then the absolute last thing they need to be doing is browsing the internet. I'm constantly bombarded by advertisements for various foods (mostly junk like home delivery pizza) on the one hand, and ads for weight loss gimmicks berating me for daring to eat anything other than whatever low-carb liquified cardboard crap they're hawking on the other. I'd think that these constant marketing assaults would be far more triggering than a simple image of cupcakes.

[silverr]

*raises hand* fwiw I actually found your comment interesting.

(The only thing I've ever known an anorexic to be truly distressed by (though that might be considered a strssor rather than a trigger) is "having to sit by or talk to a fat person."

ED anon is sooooo anon

[(Anonymous)]

Uh, not quite anorexic but definitely recovering from an eating disorder of the starve-yourself-to-death variety (which is what a LOT of people mistake anorexia for), and I get stressed (but not triggered!) by certain foods, certain clothes, and people being JERKS to fat people.

I don't have eating disorder triggers, because the eating disorder wasn't the primary catalyst for trauma in my life. (Thankfully, people who cared about me intervened before I really, really made myself irrevocably sick.) Sure, shitty things happened, but I tend to see trauma as a baseball bat to the head, not a slow, chronic grinding with sand paper, and the latter is the ED for me.

If anything, the ED was my RESPONSE to certain triggers, because it'd numb emotions and calm me down, though in an extremely dangerous way.

Re: ED anon is sooooo anon

[silverr]

*hugs* thank you for sharing, ED anon. (Please be assured I'm entirely sincere here: I personally haven't had very much exposure to people with eating disorders, so I'm always grateful to understand more about it (so as to try not to be an inadvertent jerk.)

I've always remembered the thing I mentioned because it was told to me by a zaftig friend years ago who had an anorexic colleague who (sadly) seemed to literally be repulsed by overweight people.

[(Anonymous)]

wow, so your response to someone recovering from a disease is "well don't go on the internet what did you expect". jesus christ.

[(Anonymous)]

Probably shouldn't walk down the street either, they'd go into a seizure outside a bakery.

But seriously, people recovering from traumatic experiences should go to therapy and learn coping mechanisms because life is going to be full of triggers, and it's going to suck. But other people will not go out of their way to accommodate you, nor should they feel obligated to.

[(Anonymous)]

i'm not talking about a goddamn trigger warning from cupcakes, so stop making asshole jokes. i'm talking about people who were raped, or abused, or are really sensitive to gore and shit. plus i love how you assume people don't go to therapy either, and that it's a really quick fix and everything's alright again! most people do go to therapy for it, and those who don't likely can't afford it.

it's not accommodating, it's being a decent human being.

[(Anonymous)]

So hey, after my failed suicide attempt some years ago, there was a long period of time when I couldn't swallow any pill-shaped object without vomiting. Even seeing someone else take a pill, like say on TV, would induce acute nausea. Even the odd Midol was out, let alone the daily med I was prescribed for depression. I had to skip town because visiting old haunts would send me into heaving sobs. Reading about suicide accounts, even in fiction, was right out. Most days, I could barely leave the house.

And yet I have zero patience for people who bleat, "But I'm already in therapy!" or "Therapy is not that easy!" as though that was any kind of excuse for their inability to cope (read: unwillingness to try). ZERO. Since psychotherapy wasn't working for me, I began training myself in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, a form of self-awareness exercise that monitors external stimuli specifically for the purpose of identifying triggers and stressors. Just me and a book. You had to start somewhere. Was it mentally exhausting to keep up that kind of constant awareness? Of course, but your mind is like a muscle, you have to keep working at it until it's like Teflon and the process becomes more second-nature. After a long-ass time, I eventually got to the point where I could take pills, read the news, go to therapy, no problem. Triggers became easier to sidestep, and manageable even without warning. On the Internet, backbuttons are your friend, and an immediate mindfulness exercise to deal with the stress takes care of the rest.

In the mean time, though, I lived with it and didn't walk around like a basket case hoping people would coddle me. You'll probably say that's just me and everyone's experience is different, but this part here is true for us all: other people are just living their own lives. They will never be more than passingly concerned with your hangups and most of them will not cut you any slack. You need to deal with your own problem, because as far as others are concerned, you are the only one being affected by it. You can call them assholes for it, it may be true, but no one will care. The only place that stuff might fly is on the Internet where every place is a goddamn hug box, but that's actually counterproductive, as it heightens expectation and makes it even harder for you to step out and deal with day-to-day life.

In short, fuck excuses. Shut up, take a breath, and move on. Not doable? Do it anyway. That's the only way to make it out.

[(Anonymous)]

Yours is an amazing story, anon. If only your tenacity and fighting spirit could be synthesized and bottled for free distrubution ....

[(Anonymous)]

Oh fuck off.

[baranohanayome.livejournal.com]

If you're not talking about trigger warnings for cupcakes, then I'm not sure why you replied to me, because I was specifically talking about trigger warnings for cupcakes. Soooooo...yeah.

[baranohanayome.livejournal.com]

I'm no stranger to mental illness, being that I suffer from BPD and GAD. There are a lot of things in the world that will trigger a panic attack in me, guaranteed, that other people just would not think twice about doing around me, but rather than bitch at people for living their lives I just do my best to avoid my triggers and remove myself from the situation when unexpectedly confronted with them. Would it be nice if I got a warning before my usually-empty little cafe was suddenly swarmed with people, or before that asshole cut me off in heavy traffic and nearly caused an accident? Sure, it would be great. But it's unrealistic to expect that. The internet, being that it is populated mostly by people who probably don't have to worry about triggers and stressors themselves, isn't any different.