[ SECRET POST #2503 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2503 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 105 secrets from Secret Submission Post #358.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[ashcat]

Years long lurker but wanted to comment because I see the type of secrets that this comment is about frequently.

I think a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that making friends in fandom or online in general is somehow magically different than how you make friends in person with people. It's all the same principles and actions, you just have the bonus of already having an opening for talking to someone (same as if you did a specific club or activity that you can talk to the people about who are also participating/attending).

Be friendly, ask questions about the other person in a non-intrusive but genuine way and then be real with them if a real type of relationship is what you are looking for. People can sense your genuineness as far as your interest in being their friend or interest in their fic/art/opinion etc.

About the worst thing I've ever heard is those people who pretend to be interesting hoping others will approach them. Ugh... you just come off as a stuck up asshole who doesn't want to approach others in general and/or people assume you don't want to make friends there.

I am an extrovert with tons of introverted friends, and I made the first move to approach a lot of them but they communicated back and hold up their part of our relationships.

If your social anxiety is to the point that you can't talk to people in general life then perhaps you should seek some help because your life will be a lot harder than it has to be :( (especially once you are out of school).

[(Anonymous)]

THIS. I have never had a problem making fandom friends in any fandom I have ever been in because I'm proactive and reach out to people I think are interesting and start up conversations with them. Friendship is a two-way street - you can't just expect people to take an interest in you without giving something in return. It doesn't matter whether it's online or in real life, the same basic social conventions still hold.

[(Anonymous)]

Personally I don't think it's the same as talking to someone in real-life. I get more anxious over the internet than I do in reality because it's very easy for people to misinterpret your tone and what you're trying to say, especially if you're in a fandom with a hive-mind.