case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-11-11 06:54 pm

[ SECRET POST #2505 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2505 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 061 secrets from Secret Submission Post #358.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 16 - one persistent repeat spammer (I have tried to keep your non-repeats, however!) ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
omg now that you point it out i've seen a ton of tumblr posts all "MULAN IS CANON GENDERQUEER OR TRANS*" and it bothered the fuck out of me and yes YES you get it. she disguised herself. she PUT SOME CLOTHES ON and CUT HER HAIR and suddenly she can't be female? wait WHAT?

on one hand i can see that a wider gender spectrum is nice to have, but dude... gender is about personal identity, not actions or clothes or appearance. and too often these fandom tumblr types are going off of "well she wears oversized shirts or has short hair or liked a girl once, MUST BE MALE" what? noooo

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
What I find so weird about this: Through all their "omg, must be a trans guy!" they tend to erase all the badass female characters. In their eyes, all the kickass girls who don't act in a stereotypically feminine way are not kickass girls but instead "actually men!". Really? Do you actually listen to yourselves?

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my god, +1,000,000 to this.

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
I agree completely. I was just having a conversation about this yesterday. The thing is that these people are basically saying that if a character or person is in any way not 100% adhering to the stereotypes associated to their birth gender then they HAVE to be something else, which is something so horribly sexist and misogynist for coming out of the mouths of people who are supposedly progressive.

But try saying that out loud of Tumblr and they'll lynch you.

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
Dude a ton of transpeople I've met are misogynistic as shit. Transmen I understand a bit more, they resent being assigned as female at birth and there might be some anger there. But a LOT of it is from transwomen and... wtf. Unless it's just specific cis-restricted hate? I don't know. But there's a LOOOOOT of sexism and misogyny in the trans community and it amazes and confuses me

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
I'm a trans man. I didn't realise this until a couple of years ago. Before that, I just seethed with anger at how stupid all these girly things were. I hadn't come to understand that frilly bras and rom coms are great for people who like those things. It seemed to me that everything around me was saying "you're a girl, so either you really like these things or you kind of like these things", but no, I didn't want anything to do with the reality of being a woman.

And then I figured out I was trans, and it all made sense. Realising that I am not a woman made me much more comfortable around and accepting and understanding of women, frilly bras and all.

I used to have something of a panic reaction when I caught myself noticing that a dress was cute. Now days, I can say "that's a cute dress, it'd look great on you, Suzie" without having to add "AND I'LL NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS BE CAUGHT DEAD IN SUCH A PREPOSTEROUS GETUP!"
This is true of dresses and movies and whatnot, but it's also true of much more important matters, such as women's rights. I used to push everything associated with women away and go "NOT FOR ME!", but now I can look on from outside and go "this is important for women" without feeling like I'll be dragged into something.

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
My husband was a lot like that. He was so happy to realize he liked cute girly things... on his girlfriend!

And that some things like knitting the general media wants you to think is just ladies, but actually hang out with knitters and there's tons of cis dudes. Or thinking cats make good pets, which http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Lil+Bub+Lil+Bub+Friendz+Premieres+NYC+TBWE-kRxxoyl.jpg is http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/07/article-0-1A30EBBE000005DC-807_306x423.jpg totally http://www.trbimg.com/img-5257059d/turbine/bal-indycar-driver-josef-newgarten-adopts-kitt-001/600/450x600 a girl thing. http://theberry.com/2010/04/08/im-allergic-to-guys-with-kittens-12-photos/

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Not saying you aren't trans... but what the heck does "understanding of women" mean? Liking frilly bras has NOTHING to do with women or being a woman. Being a woman is... nothing more than identifying as a woman. Frills, pink, and pumpkin spice lattes having nothing to do with it.

AYRT

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
It's a stereotype. I felt that to be both a woman and the person I was, I had to push everything stereotypically female away and proclaim it stupid, shallow, useless.
After I realized I was trans, I saw that what I was doing was problematic. Traditionally girly things are not stupid, they simply represent something I wanted to distance myself from.
nyxelestia: Rose Icon (Default)

Wait, does this mean I'm actually trans and just don't know it?

[personal profile] nyxelestia 2013-11-12 09:38 am (UTC)(link)
I just got a new boyfriend, our relationship is complicated enough. He's going to be so confused, the poor thing.

In all seriousness, I sometimes have an affection for masculine clothing, and I'm told that my personality is rather masculine, as well (especially for someone of my ethnicity, apparently -_-). And I'm bisexual. But I still identify pretty firmly as a woman, and not even a particularly masculine or manly one at that.

The definition of genderqueer, in the usage/colloquial context, keeps changing so much I'm never sure whether I "qualify" or not. -_-

Re: Wait, does this mean I'm actually trans and just don't know it?

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
NO. For goodness sake, "masculine" personality doesn't exist, nor does "feminine" personality. Your personality is yours and has nothing to do with your gender. Nor do your clothes - being a woman is defined ONLY by identifying as a woman.

Man, I wish I could cut the words "masculine" and "feminine" from the dictionary, except to talk about, perhaps, physical appearance and/or stereotypes.
nyxelestia: Rose Icon (Default)

Re: Wait, does this mean I'm actually trans and just don't know it?

[personal profile] nyxelestia 2013-11-13 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
I'm pretty sure that's part of the problem, though. What is a woman? Is a woman just having a feminine appearance? The feminine stereotypes? If it's just on the basis of genitalia, what if you feel no identification with your genitalia beyond the fact it's that thing between your legs? Is it the hormones? Except those can be radically different among women, and subject to radical changes, too.

I don't identify as genderqueer. I am a woman, because that's what I was born as and I've got too much other shit to deal with to try and untangle it from there. But as much as I can, will, and do scoff at people who claim the genderqueer title arbitrarily just because it's the trendy thing to do, I can also see how someone might look at the complexity of gender and go "well, I don't fit into my gender's stereotypes so I'm not what I was born is, but I don't identify with the opposite gender's stereotypes so I'm not trans, either...guess I'm genderqueer!"