fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2510 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2510 ⌋

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So, I'm working on a fic, and am about to introduce a new character for whom my mental image is NY Gov. De Blasio's son, who is half black, half white. And I'm unsure how to describe him. Every time I just try to insert descriptors into the narrative, I end up resorting to foodstuff descriptors and a lot of talk about skin like (bad writing warning) "She gazed at his chocolate skin" or "the white shirt contrasted sharply with his dark skin" and none of that sounds good to me. But if I just devote a paragraph to saying "here's what this kid looks like" then OMG, that's TELLING, YOU SHOULD BE SHOWING!!

And I'm kind of running out of options other than just NOT describing him and letting people insert their own mental image in whatever race they default to. (I usually don't, but I'm trying to grow as a writer who can create characters from wholecloth instead of relying on pre-made people...and that kind of requires description, yes?) I could possibly give them a nudge with name choice. But then I run the risk of Cho Chang-ing it (though, I still don't quite get why everyone flips their shit over that, so whatevs).

IDK, I guess I'm rambling.

I actually don't mind those types of descriptions. My beef lies in *only* describing non-white characters skin tone. As long as it's consistent I don't see the issue.

You could describe him based on the characters he's standing next to? Like, a female character touches his arm and her hand is "startlingly pale/dark against his skin" or something similar. You don't have to resort to food stuff (because you're right, that annoys some people big time) but there aren't many ways to establish half black half white in particular without resorting to telling, or mentioning his parents or something.

What's the POV? Who is describing the character, and how would they describe a person in general to someone else?

third person omniscient

Well, if you use race to describe other characters, then describe this character racially as well. Otherwise, stick to neutral descriptors (i.e. describing skin tone without describing race) and find some way to have the character's race brought up later in the story, i.e. another character describing your biracial character to a third party, and describing their race in the process. Or maybe there's a note on some paperwork somewhere, or just lampshade it by having someone (for whom it is believable to do so and in a good context) flat out ask the character what their race is.

Descriptions fall outside the rule of show, don't tell, because what you want to show is a character's true personality or emotion. Seeing a character's appearance in your mind is different from 'seeing' that character's sadness, for example. You don't 'see' sadness; it is expressed through action-- thus, showing. But you see when someone's black or white or Asian.

So no, you don't have to continuously remind people that "hey! he's black! see? see??" because that's ridiculous. One clear description when he's introduced suffices, unless the POV character needs to be hyper aware of how his skin looks in every situation. You're right that those examples you gave are terrible.

When in doubt, keep it simple, is what I say. There is nothing wrong with using "brown" to describe skin. Dark brown, light brown, medium brown, it's all fine. "Dark" by itself is great, too - "the white shirt contrasted sharply with his dark skin" is a perfectly okay line (mostly if the guy is actually quite dark, though - if he's a lighter brown in your mind, the contrast won't be that notable).

Really, where problems arise with describing skin color is when you only describe skin that is dark and leave anything else unspoken, creating an effect of making dark skin exceptional and every other skin type the default. Toss in some descriptors for non-dark people here and there where relevant - "pale", "fair", and "light" are favorites of mine. "Tanned" for pale/light brown skin that's been, well, notably tanned (try not to apply that to brown skin that's that way without sun, it makes people confused). I personally avoid food descriptors, but they're not a crime in and of themselves, just incredibly overdone for every skin color ("milky" needs to die a sudden death).

Good luck!

1. Read more stuff written by POC. Autobiographies especially. People (all people) tend to default to picturing characters as whatever they're used to. I've noticed that I can change that based on what I'm reading or watching. When I read a book by a Japanese author and then I go to write, all of my characters look Japanese, and I sort of naturally start developing unique characteristics, physical and personality-wise. If I play Pokemon for eight hours, they...all look like Pokemon characters. It's all about what you have exposure to and if you're a writer, even if it's just for fun, you should be reading a lot.

2. Try this as a writing exercise: write about a bunch of people, don't describe anybody's skin except for the white people. Some great food words include: milky, vanilla, whipped cream, eggnog, plain flavored Greek yogurt, unsalted butter, mashed potatoes, resembling the inside of a fresh Pillsbury dinner roll. Non-food but similar in tone: snowy, tissue, freshly-bleached linen, as white as the lightest, softest beach sand, ivory, as white as puffy clouds on a nice summer's day, white like an endless void, pearl

Edited 2013-11-17 04:53 (UTC)

tissue

...WAIT.

Isn't all skin the color of tissue? XD

I know it's time to go to bed because my sleepy brain took way too long to get that. (But then I laughed.)

yeaaaaaaaaaaah but I figured they could say like, "as white as tissues, like the kind you blow your nose with, but we're not naming any trademarked brands here or anything"

also: marshmallow fluff

Eggnog sounds like a severely unhealthy skincolour to have...

But so delicious.

So does cloud-white. And anything bleached. Although I guess milk-white and snow-white are traditional, and they're just as bad.

...I guess I just really hate most "poetic" descriptions for skin. Especially the food-based ones. It doesn't look like milk or chocolate or chocolate milk or honey or caramel or peaches, it looks like skin. If not, the character probably needs to see a doctor.

[ SECRET POST #2510 ]

Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off

Re: Writing characters of color while showing not telling and not pissing people off