fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #289 ]

⌈ Secret Post #289 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 176 secrets from Secret Submission Post #042.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 ] broken links, [ 1 2 3 ] not!secrets, [ 1 2 3 ] not!fandom, [ 1 ] personal attack.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Monday, October 22nd, 2007.
Current Secret Submission Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Because everyone who says they are asexual is just using it as an 'excuse'? That's very accepting of you.

that is to say, if she were still interested in a 'romantic' relationship that apparently asexuals are supposedly still all for, she wouldn't have turned them down cold. if she were not interested in ANYTHING AT ALL, then using the I'M ASEXUAL GTFO is an excuse, instead of just saying "No thanks, not interested."

Uh not really, since there are asexuals who really aren't interested in romantic relationships.

uh...whatever, since everyone seems to be hitting on the "OMG maybe she's just interested in a romantic thing with you and doesn't want sex" (which the OP didn't say they wanted, if I'm reading the secret right), that is what was getting pushed in my face, so I was going with what was being said.

You're sort of jumping to conclusions, aren't you? Asexuality is a spectrum. Some people are okay with sex but just don't want it, some are disgusted by it, some don't want to have anything to do with it (and thus are turned away from romantic relationships, seeing as where they often lead). I think there are a lot of people who identify as asexual because they aren't emotionally ready for a relationship yet, and I think that's what we're dealing with here, but this girl could just as easily be the third category.

Besides, even if she isn't truly asexual, it doesn't mean she's using it as an "excuse," because she still believes she's asexual. Maybe it'll take someone like this guy to prove her wrong.

Maybe it'll take someone like this guy to prove her wrong.

which totally won't happen because she's too busy using asexuality as a reason to keep him pushed away instead of maybe being honest with him and saying "sorry, not interested in YOU".

You're very fixated on that idea, very aggressive about it. Could it be that it happened to you? Could it be that you're the one who's using asexuality as an excuse to get out of relationships? By the way that you're going after everyone who responds to you, this is beginning to look like an old wound of yours. So, Anonymous, what have you got against asexuals?

You should also really take note that the secret poster never said he approached the girl he's talking about for a date or whatever. It seems more likely to me that she's open about it and has mentioned to him in the past without knowing that he's interested in her.

Some asexuals are interested in romance. Some are specifically romantically attracted to girls without the sex aspect involved. Some are specifically romantically attracted to boys without the sex aspect involved. Some are specifically romantically attracted to all genders without the sex aspect involved. SOME AREN'T.

I'm an aromantic asexual, and, yeah, I would let somebody who was hitting on me know that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship because it wouldn't be fair not to.

Way to generalize, there.

I would let somebody who was hitting on me know that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship because it wouldn't be fair not to.

In which case you say, "I'm just not interested in a romantic relationship with you (or with anyone)." why does being asexual even enter into it? there are heterosexuals and homosexuals and bisexuals who sometimes, believe it or not, are not interested in romantic relationships. it doesn't automatically make them asexual. it makes them...NOT INTERESTED.

I'm not the only one generalizing about this issue, by the way.

And I probably would say "Sorry, not interested in romance" rather than going into the whole aromantic/asexual spiel. How is that at all relevant? The secret poster doesn't even say that this girl identified as asexual in response to his romantic interest. Just that, hey, she's asexual and he's interested but discouraged...which doesn't mean he said "Hey I dig you!" and she said "Hey I'm asexual!" it means she said in the course of some conversation "Oh BTW I'm asexual" and he realized she was unlikely to return his interest.

there are heterosexuals and homosexuals and bisexuals who sometimes, believe it or not, are not interested in romantic relationships. it doesn't automatically make them asexual. it makes them...NOT INTERESTED.

...okay. I believe it. I know heterosexuals and homosexuals and bisexuals who are not interested in personal romance. Most people who know me casually tend to think that I'm a bisexual with no interest in romance, because I'm not shy about expressing my aesthetic appreciation of pretty people but don't want to date any of them, and hey, most of the time there's not really an appropriate conversation or point to correctly identify my orientation. It's also not usually relevant.

You're getting very aggressive about this issue. And if that last comment was meant to imply that I'm generalizing that sexuals are always interested in romance, then...um...I'm sorry? I didn't mean to imply that. I know that's not true. But we weren't talking about sexuals at the moment so I don't exactly see how I could have interjected that.

If, on the other hand, that last sentence was just meant to point out that an awful lot of people in the comments here are generalizing, then, yes! I agree!

So...if she's not interested BECAUSE she's genuinely asexual...she's supposed to lie? Your "logic" on this escapes me.

How about not calling sexuality into it at all? How is that not lying? If she's not interested, she's not interested, period. What difference does it make if she any-sexual? I'm saying that using the asexual excuse is putting up a wall that may not have been warranted.

as a heterosexual female, if there was a girl attracted to me and I'm not to her, I don't tell her "Sorry, I'm heterosexual, not interested." Heterosexual is not this badge that I wear that identifies me. I'm simply not interested in her. "LOL I'M STR8T" is just an excuse and not very honest when there is no interest in the individual. your mileage may vary, obviously.

[ SECRET POST #289 ]

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