fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2511 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2511 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[The Hobbit]

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03.

[The Fly 1986]

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04.

[Slightly Damned]

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05.

[Game Of Thrones]

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06.

[DC Comics]

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07.

[NCIS]

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08.

[Roosterteeth]

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09.

[Mass Effect]
[Art: The Shepard Siblings, by bigcman321]

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10.

[Easy A]

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11.

[Sleepy Hollow]

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12.

[Sir David Attenborough]

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13.

[New Tricks]

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14.

[Hannibal (NBC)]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #359.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Technically speaking bisexual means "between homo and hetero sexual". Only recently has it come to mean "only liking people in the gender binary".

So, you're right on the definition of pan, and a bit off on the definition of bi, but it's not your fault; "pan" people have been campaigning to redefine "bi" to mean "gender binary only" so that they can score extra brownie points and be ~more oppressed~ than those binary-loving scum who call themselves bisexual.

DA
The really sad part about it all is that, because of this problem, there basically isn't an easy term for that that won't cause people to eat you alive. If you say you're bisexual, someone is going to shit on you because oooh that's transphobic blah blah blah. If you say you're pansexual, someone is going to shit on you because oooh that's a stupid special snowflake term blah blah blah.

Sorry, I'm quite bitter towards the pansexual crowd because when I came out it was so easy, I could say "I'm bisexual" and everyone would understand. Now I can't use a nice single-word explanation without getting insulted because other people of my same sexual orientation decided that's not good enough. I have reverted to explaining in the long-winded way. Truly a victory for everyone, assholes.

DDA

Aaaaaannnnd this is why I don't want to come out as bi yet.

The reaction from friends & family is terrifying enough, without the thought that the lesbian & gay community will hate me, too.

DA

And THIS is why over-labelling is bad!

Good luck, anon-person. I hope that when you do come out you find yourself among the supportive and the strong, rather than the petty and pedantic. *hugs!*

AYRT

I can absolutely understand that. :( I've been extremely lucky that not a single person between my family and friends has been anything but supportive, but people on Tumblr? Yipes. The most vitriolic things I've heard were from people of my same age who are queer themselves; meanwhile, my 81-year-old grandma is cheering for me and my girlfriend. Makes you think...

Good luck, anon!

I don't like identifying as 'pansexual', if only because I'm probably gonna kill someone if I hear 'so you like pans, lol?' one more time.

Then, I've never met a single bisexual person who said 'nope, just cis people please, and definitely no one who's genderqueer.'

I'm sure they exist, but it's in no way inherent to the definition of bisexuality. I'm actually genderqueer myself, and I get more and more annoyed by the ever-growing list of things I'm supposed to be offended about just so that some people get an extra special tumblr label.

I sympathize. I used to call myself pansexual, because I have been in a LOT of relationships with trans or genderqueer people, and I wanted to make that clear. Bisexual as a word did not seem to do that for me (but I don't assume other bi people to only be interested in the gender binary, either). Of course, now I'm trying to figure out how to concisely explain that while I can be attracted to people regardless of gender, I am only interested in people who identify prominently as female, regardless of body. You would think lesbian would work but I have gotten crap for that, too. I prefer labels because of shorthand, but I've yet to figure out one for this. *sigh*

As a non-binary genderqueer person, I find pansexual people who insist on that definition really fetishising. And I have no time for the biphobic bullshit in the "bisexuals are transphobic!" argument.

Another thing the rhetoric seems to be missing is that a bisexual person who says "I like dudes and I like chicks" does not exclude transgender people who are just dudes and chicks. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm a dude, if a guy liked me that would be gay, if a girl liked me that would be straight. The regrettable contents of my pants don't make me any less a dude than Beardy McGiantweener. A bi person who likes both dudes and chicks would like me as a dude, and that would be perfectly bi. As a transgender man I AM on the gender binary, I just come at it from the other side.

Though I do agree that the two-ness of the term "bisexual" doesn't fully include intersex and genderfluid people, but that's an etymological concept, not a matter of attraction.
Pansexual might be a better word to describe the phenomena, but the attitudes flying around make both terms sort of unpleasant.

(P.S. The Pan which comes to my mind when I see the word is the Pan with the horns and the pipes and the goat legs, not the ones with the eggs and the frying)

This whole mess right there is why I just started saying "queer".

I'm sure I could put together a bunch of special snowflake labels to describe my sexual preferences exactly, but in the end, that's between me and people who mutually want to have sex with me and they don't need to know which of my imaginary sexytimes checkboxes they tick off any more than I need to know which of theirs I do.

[ SECRET POST #2511 ]

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