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⌈ Secret Post #2524 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secret Santa sign-ups go up tomorrow! There will be a post explaining everything again/open to questions, too. Keep an eye out! :)

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 073 secrets from Secret Submission Post #361.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The entire first chapter of The Sign Of Four is 95% Holmes trying his damnedest to win multiple gold medals in every single category of the Dickbag Olympics that it is possible to compete in from a sitting-room armchair.

I mean seriously, insulting Watson's writing and then immediately following it by droning for a page and a half about how this random French asshole was so much better a writer than Watson and so much better a detective than Watson and was so much better at praising Holmes without bitching about his cocaine than Watson? I'm surprised Watson didn't just tell him to go move in with his stupid French translator guy if he liked him so much.

At least Holmes was adorable for the rest of the book, but damn.