[ SECRET POST #2527 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2527 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #361.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Oooook. I got annoyed by the implication of lack of blood ties = not real family. I came back to apologize for taking it so badly, and now I find this.

You pretty much don't get my point that I GET NOW THAT IT'S A CULTURAL DIFFERENCE. And cultural difference are perfectly ok and no one is saying they have to change unless they're actually hurting someone, which isn't the case in this. But you know what? It's also ok for people to say "hey, that's different and it's weird for me for this and that", no need to prove that one say it's better or worse.

I'll still think it's weird for a child to have to pay* their parents and I see as a way to treat their child less as part of the family and more as a renter, but you thinks it's normal. And guess what? That's fine.

*And honestly, if an adult think they can live without doing anything where they live (either helping with chores or with the bill), I'm pretty sure the issue is the adults that raised that child. Pushing them to be "responsible" after not teaching them that during their childhood/adolescence show the parents weren't that responsible themselves.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, cool your ass. I am not the person who suggested that step-parents/children are "not real family." Even though many of them not infrequently behave as if they didn't regard one another in that light.

Also: I did not suggest that it was normal in the US to treat one's child as a tenant rather than a family member. My point, which seems to have escaped you, is that home is supposed to be the place where, when you have to go there, there will always be a place for you--but on the other hand, that an adult child returning to the parental home behaves as a member of the household who has an adult duty to contribute to it. Not as a guest to whom the other members of the household have a duty of hospitality, or as a small child who has a right to expect their parents to care for them and can't be expected to do a great deal in return.

And this is apparently how things are seen in your culture--your parents would not dream of putting your relationship on a cold-blooded pecuniary footing, but on the other hand, you would not come home and expect to be waited on like a guest or catered to like a small child. So I don't get why you are screaming "IT'S A CULTURAL DIFFERENCE OKAAAAAY?"

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Ok, sorry that you weren't that anon. It something that hit too close to home and it's hard to stay calm after that, that's why I stepped back for a while.

But, you missed my point?
It's a cultural difference because here it's different. It's not an owned duty, it's not about having to do something. That's all and it's something that seems small and yet it isn't.

I'm too sleepy to try to express it clearly, so I'll leave it at that.

[(Anonymous)]

No, no--my post seems unnecessarily snarky to me now, so I'd like to apologize as well.

Still, I think I see your point--if there's a cultural difference, it may be that in America, people need to treat something as a pecuniary obligation--even to the extent of spelling it out in contracts--that you would do as a matter of course. It's that even where money isn't changing hands, it's still often spoken of, here, in a very legalistic way--quid pro quo--all counting up and measuring out, with a fear of doing something for someone else that isn't directly compensated.

[(Anonymous)]

(different anon)
So you, as an adult living with your parents, could just watch TV all day and yell for your parents to bring you food when you're hungry, and they'd happily do it because that's okay in your culture?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm pretty sure this anon said the exact opposite: that in their culture, "we manage not to be entitled brats"--i.e., adult children are contributing members of the household without parents demanding "payment" for being allowed to live at home.

[(Anonymous)]

But they could behave like that if they wanted to, right?

I'm really curious where that anon is from. I kinda want to say Thailand, but I know a woman from Thailand (who never moved out of her parents' house), but she's told me stories where her adult siblings and brother in law behave like spoiled asses, so that can't be right.