fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2530 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2530 ⌋

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[Doctor Who (gif)]

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14. [SPOILERS for family guy]

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16. [WARNING for abuse]

Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I don't want to adhere to societies misogynistic constraints on me" is a pretty counterproductive attitude and it still feeds into the overall idea that feminine things are less. A better attitude would be "I can like girly things if I damn well please and it doesn't make me any less than anyone else" and that goes for men and women alike. (There's nothing wrong with not liking them, but if your reason is "gasp it's too feminine!" then I sideye that)

This.

It's only misogynistic if you assume that what society labels as 'girly' is rationally related to the state of being a woman or girl. Not liking girly things isn't the same as not liking being a girl, or thinking there's something wrong with being a girl.

The question you're not asking yourself, it seems to me, is why you're assuming that a dislike of socially-constructed feminine things must have to do with dislike of women, rather than with a dislike of what society expects of women. Or why you feel it's incumbent upon women to go out of their way to try to elevate the social status of things deemed 'feminine,' even for a woman who dislikes the social construct of femininity and is uncomfortable having it applied to herself. Your argument suggests that discomfort with or dislike of a social ideal of the feminine is inherently misogynistic. But that would mean that the only way not to be a misogynist is to buy into all the old ideas about essential differences between men and women that some of us became feminists to reject.

As soon as pressure to embrace girliness stops being a misogynistic constraint, and people stop trying to make us act like we like it and insisting that we hate women if we don't, most of us will stop feeling the need to push back against it. No, we do not hate women because we don't like to play with dolls. No, not wanting to be the kind of person that culture tells us we will be if we do like to play with dolls does not mean hating women. It may mean hating the cultural construct, but that's not the same thing.

Your argument suggests that discomfort with or dislike of a social ideal of the feminine is inherently misogynistic.

Dislike of that social ideal is not misogynistic. Discomfort, though? I would argue that there is invariably some underlying level of misogyny there if you feel actively uncomfortable with the idea of being at all associated with "feminine" things. It's entirely possible to dislike something without feeling any discomfort towards it.

If you don't feel that it's somehow "lesser," then why the discomfort? Why not simply say "No thanks, that really isn't for me"? There is no reason to feel discomfort over it unless you somehow view being feminine as a negative trait.

Thanks, you said this better than I could ^^;

I see where you're coming from. I guess I feel that the "push back" is counterproductive. If you really don't like girly things, then it should be because you don't like girly things, and if you say it's because you're rejecting that to make a statement then it can fall into the "girly things are bad!" trap.

You say that society's rejection of girly things is separate from their rejection of women and is only because of rejecting roles women are forced into, but that implies that all of society is feminist. I think that the overall view of women as less and the overall disdain for "feminine" things is absolutely connected.

Agreed. Plus if you avoid 'girly things' because, as anon put it, "I don't want to adhere to societies misogynistic constraints on me" you're still just constraining yourself from enjoying things you might otherwise enjoy.

[ SECRET POST #2530 ]

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