fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2530 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2530 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13. http://i.imgur.com/sXm4j5b.gif
[Doctor Who (gif)]

__________________________________________________

[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

14. [SPOILERS for family guy]

__________________________________________________

15. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]

__________________________________________________

[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

16. [WARNING for abuse]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #361.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

it really depends on the gender. If it was a boy saying he didn't like girly things, you'd rightly be thinking he was a shitsmear on societies underwear. as this is a woman saying it, there are different implications in place. "I don't want to adhere to societies misogynistic constraints on me" is a perfectly valid reason to not want a fucking Barbie doll (And that's not even touching what those foul implications actually are. Have seen Barbie? Fuck you, men! That shit is not ok) compared to "Ew girls are gross and weak and pathetic and I don't want to be like them" which is not.

rightly?

....no. If a boy doesn't like "girly things" he doesn't like "girly things". As long as he doesn't bash girly things, he can like whatever the fuck he wants.

Yes, but you have to ask WHY he doesn't like 'Girly' things. Nothing exists in a vacuum, least of all people.

Maybe he just doesn't like girly things, no why involved, like I don't like onions or My Little Pony.

I don't like girly things. Why? Because I don't. All my sisters did but I did not. Better go to the psychologist. Get rid of that internalized misogyny I have but my other three sisters did not.

Not liking "girly" things (i.e. things society has decided to designate as "girly") is fine. However, not liking "girly" things, then finding one "girly" thing you liked, and realizing that you *hated* yourself for liking this (as the OP says)? That's the problem.

"I don't want to adhere to societies misogynistic constraints on me" is a pretty counterproductive attitude and it still feeds into the overall idea that feminine things are less. A better attitude would be "I can like girly things if I damn well please and it doesn't make me any less than anyone else" and that goes for men and women alike. (There's nothing wrong with not liking them, but if your reason is "gasp it's too feminine!" then I sideye that)

This.

It's only misogynistic if you assume that what society labels as 'girly' is rationally related to the state of being a woman or girl. Not liking girly things isn't the same as not liking being a girl, or thinking there's something wrong with being a girl.

The question you're not asking yourself, it seems to me, is why you're assuming that a dislike of socially-constructed feminine things must have to do with dislike of women, rather than with a dislike of what society expects of women. Or why you feel it's incumbent upon women to go out of their way to try to elevate the social status of things deemed 'feminine,' even for a woman who dislikes the social construct of femininity and is uncomfortable having it applied to herself. Your argument suggests that discomfort with or dislike of a social ideal of the feminine is inherently misogynistic. But that would mean that the only way not to be a misogynist is to buy into all the old ideas about essential differences between men and women that some of us became feminists to reject.

As soon as pressure to embrace girliness stops being a misogynistic constraint, and people stop trying to make us act like we like it and insisting that we hate women if we don't, most of us will stop feeling the need to push back against it. No, we do not hate women because we don't like to play with dolls. No, not wanting to be the kind of person that culture tells us we will be if we do like to play with dolls does not mean hating women. It may mean hating the cultural construct, but that's not the same thing.

Your argument suggests that discomfort with or dislike of a social ideal of the feminine is inherently misogynistic.

Dislike of that social ideal is not misogynistic. Discomfort, though? I would argue that there is invariably some underlying level of misogyny there if you feel actively uncomfortable with the idea of being at all associated with "feminine" things. It's entirely possible to dislike something without feeling any discomfort towards it.

If you don't feel that it's somehow "lesser," then why the discomfort? Why not simply say "No thanks, that really isn't for me"? There is no reason to feel discomfort over it unless you somehow view being feminine as a negative trait.

Thanks, you said this better than I could ^^;

I see where you're coming from. I guess I feel that the "push back" is counterproductive. If you really don't like girly things, then it should be because you don't like girly things, and if you say it's because you're rejecting that to make a statement then it can fall into the "girly things are bad!" trap.

You say that society's rejection of girly things is separate from their rejection of women and is only because of rejecting roles women are forced into, but that implies that all of society is feminist. I think that the overall view of women as less and the overall disdain for "feminine" things is absolutely connected.

Agreed. Plus if you avoid 'girly things' because, as anon put it, "I don't want to adhere to societies misogynistic constraints on me" you're still just constraining yourself from enjoying things you might otherwise enjoy.

But OP has said that she does like the dolls, and is apparently having a crisis of identity and trying to pretend they're "action figures". It's a bit different than not wanting a Barbie because you don't want a Barbie. It's more like those dudes who insist that the new MLP was actually made for adults.

Not just for adults, but for them.

Edited 2013-12-07 17:26 (UTC)

"it really depends on the gender. If it was a boy saying he didn't like girly things, you'd rightly be thinking he was a shitsmear on societies underwear. "

OH FOR FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE, SERIOUSLY

Just urghhhhhh.

If he were bashing them and saying nasty stuff about girls it'd be one thing, but just not being interested in it....oh brother.

[ SECRET POST #2530 ]

I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

Re: I see where you're coming from but...