[ SECRET POST #2530 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2530 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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13. http://i.imgur.com/sXm4j5b.gif
[Doctor Who (gif)]



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14. [SPOILERS for family guy]




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16. [WARNING for abuse]





















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #361.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I know this is probably a troll, but may I ask what the fuck is wrong with being or liking "girly"

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe it's something she doesn't want to be? Does it matter if she's not forcing her choices on you or anyone else? Nowhere does OP judge anyone else

Really?

[(Anonymous)]

Look, this is all a societal thing. Everyone knows girly things are not inherently bad. Okay? We all know that. That does not mean people personally think this. Based on how you were raised, this is view some people hold. It may not be right, but don't act ignorant. You know it exists.

Re: Really?

[(Anonymous)]

That's the feeling I got, like there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a housewife and raising children but if you'd personally hate that idea and have hated that idea all your life, that's fine too

Whatever just don't drag other people in, and OP isn't

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Nothing wrong with being girly, it's just that I've NEVER been that way, and I don't like that suddenly I'm interested in these dolls. It's confusing and frustrating to me because I like them, but I'm manlier than all my brothers combined and I know I shouldn't like them because it's making me feel different than I am used to. I didn't mean to imply that there's something wrong with being girly, there's just something wrong with me being that way because it's unusual for me.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

DA

You've obviously got a bit of internalized mysogyny or sexism going on, which is frankly pretty normal. I understand that this new turn is making you uncomfortable but I think you should spend some honest time reflecting on why you feel the need to identify so strongly as "masculine" and why it bothers you so much to enjoy "girly" things. Because it's just a hobby. If you like dolls it doesn't make you "girly", it just means you like dolls. It doesn't change anything about who you are.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, it's their identity and they can have a crisis about it if they want to.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

They can! I don't think I ever said that they couldn't. It's obviously something that's upsetting them and they can freak out all over the place, but in doing so I also think they should really take a hard look at why this one thing is creating an identity crisis.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Anon was just offering advice?? You rather OP just keep on feeling guilty about their new hobby without someone trying to offer new insight?

Re: OP

[hallokatzchen]

tbh, I don't think OP has internalized anything. Some women just don't like girly things. They don't think they're bad or inferior, they're just not interested in them *shrug*

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

You don't think labeling a subset of things "girly", which means feminine, and disliking them based almost entirely on the label, to the point where she has to pretend like the things she likes are really masculine, is problematic and indicative of something internalized? If she had no internalized misogyny, enjoying something that many people might call "girly" shouldn't be an issue. It should simply be a happy exception to her own rule.

Re: OP

[littlestbirds]

Just because it's unusual doesn't mean it's wrong. There are plenty of reasons to like dolls that have nothing to do with being girly. There are plenty of traditionally manly things that I like for "girly" reasons. Maybe the aesthetics just appeal to you and you should stop overthinking it and trying to categorize everything :)

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Dunno if it helps at all, but just because The Media says certain things doesn't make them true. There's a large population of adult hetero male doll collectors, and when I was in BJD fandom I knew Army and Marine guys who enjoyed collecting them just as much as the 'girls'. They're just not as loud about it as the Bronies.

So if your definition of Manly is lots of guys like to do it, then honestly you'd have a hard time finding a hobby that wasn't manly, because newsflash, men are people and women are people and just like there are female gamers and geeks, there's dudes everywhere.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

All due respect, OP, the very fact that a) you see the gender world ONLY as 'girly' and 'manly' and b) you disparage the feminine, is kind of what's upsetting people. Why are you so attached to the label of 'masculine' and 'manly'?

Let me suggest to you 'person'. PERSONHOOD. Where WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU LIKE and you don't waste all this mental time and energy beating yourself up and insulting others implicitly through your disparagement of the female and can get on with your life.

If you think there's 'something wrong with you' because you like something, it means you're too damn attached to ridiculous gender stereotypes. That 'different' you feel is because you are a goddam human/person and people do not fit in neat little boxes. If this is the first time it's ever occurred to you that maybe you don't fit into some phallocratic limited binary gender, well....it's about fucking time, really. Get over it and get over yourself.

Though, if you're a troll, kudos because you really got my goat.

I see where you're coming from but...

[(Anonymous)]

it really depends on the gender. If it was a boy saying he didn't like girly things, you'd rightly be thinking he was a shitsmear on societies underwear. as this is a woman saying it, there are different implications in place. "I don't want to adhere to societies misogynistic constraints on me" is a perfectly valid reason to not want a fucking Barbie doll (And that's not even touching what those foul implications actually are. Have seen Barbie? Fuck you, men! That shit is not ok) compared to "Ew girls are gross and weak and pathetic and I don't want to be like them" which is not.

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

[comradesmiler]

rightly?

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

[(Anonymous)]

....no. If a boy doesn't like "girly things" he doesn't like "girly things". As long as he doesn't bash girly things, he can like whatever the fuck he wants.

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, but you have to ask WHY he doesn't like 'Girly' things. Nothing exists in a vacuum, least of all people.

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

[diet_poison]

"I don't want to adhere to societies misogynistic constraints on me" is a pretty counterproductive attitude and it still feeds into the overall idea that feminine things are less. A better attitude would be "I can like girly things if I damn well please and it doesn't make me any less than anyone else" and that goes for men and women alike. (There's nothing wrong with not liking them, but if your reason is "gasp it's too feminine!" then I sideye that)

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

[silverau]

This.

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

[(Anonymous)]

It's only misogynistic if you assume that what society labels as 'girly' is rationally related to the state of being a woman or girl. Not liking girly things isn't the same as not liking being a girl, or thinking there's something wrong with being a girl.

The question you're not asking yourself, it seems to me, is why you're assuming that a dislike of socially-constructed feminine things must have to do with dislike of women, rather than with a dislike of what society expects of women. Or why you feel it's incumbent upon women to go out of their way to try to elevate the social status of things deemed 'feminine,' even for a woman who dislikes the social construct of femininity and is uncomfortable having it applied to herself. Your argument suggests that discomfort with or dislike of a social ideal of the feminine is inherently misogynistic. But that would mean that the only way not to be a misogynist is to buy into all the old ideas about essential differences between men and women that some of us became feminists to reject.

As soon as pressure to embrace girliness stops being a misogynistic constraint, and people stop trying to make us act like we like it and insisting that we hate women if we don't, most of us will stop feeling the need to push back against it. No, we do not hate women because we don't like to play with dolls. No, not wanting to be the kind of person that culture tells us we will be if we do like to play with dolls does not mean hating women. It may mean hating the cultural construct, but that's not the same thing.

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

[(Anonymous)]

But OP has said that she does like the dolls, and is apparently having a crisis of identity and trying to pretend they're "action figures". It's a bit different than not wanting a Barbie because you don't want a Barbie. It's more like those dudes who insist that the new MLP was actually made for adults.

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

[diet_poison]

Not just for adults, but for them.

Re: I see where you're coming from but...

[(Anonymous)]

"it really depends on the gender. If it was a boy saying he didn't like girly things, you'd rightly be thinking he was a shitsmear on societies underwear. "

OH FOR FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE, SERIOUSLY

Just urghhhhhh.

If he were bashing them and saying nasty stuff about girls it'd be one thing, but just not being interested in it....oh brother.

[(Anonymous)]

because girly is stupid and retarded, doncha know

/extreme sarcasm, in case that wasn't readily apparent/

but seriously: because girly is not the desired norm in western society.