fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2534 ]

[ SECRET POST #2534 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2534 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Doctor Who]

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[Guild Wars 2]

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[Perry Mason]

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[Sleepy Hollow]

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[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic; gorefic]

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[Marco Mengoni/Max Pezzali (883)]

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[Hetalia]

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[Once Upon a Time and Uncanny X-Men]

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[Borderlands 2]

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[Elementary]

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[Rise of the Guardians. Art by Rufftoon.]

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[Mabinogi]

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[minecraft/C418]

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15.

[The Big Bang Theory]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 038 secrets from Secret Submission Post #362.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...can suck. my mum wants to invite some random guy she's been dating barely a month to our house literally the day after Christmas. she never asked if I was cool with it and today got mad at me when I wasn't. sorry that I would like some respect for my father who died only a few years ago, and used to celebrate Christmas with us in that house like a family...oh wait, I'm not sorry at all. this was a text conversation and I ended up crying in the middle of lecture (my prof kept looking at me and getting distracted--I feel terrible, but I'm awful at holding in tears). cherry on top of a shit day.

anyone having issues with their parents (or other family) during this lovely holiday season?

I'm sorry. That sounds really upsetting.

My parents are fine, it's my brother and his girlfriend who are the problem. Nothing out of the ordinary though. Just different politics and having to call my girlfriend my "friend" while they're around.

Ugh, that sucks. I'm not sure I would be able to resist the urge to call the brother's girlfriend his "friend" in front of them, in that situation (but I don't actually suggest you do that because it would cause drama). I'm just sorry you're having to deal with that crap. :(

That really sucks. *hugs* My grandma is getting older and every conversation we have with her turns into "All my friends are dead. I bet you wish I was dead." And then she'll argue with my mom. It's true about her friends and it's not picnic at her age (91), so she has good reason to act that way. But it doesn't make it any easier to be around her.

That sucks, too. My grandmother is convinced the only reason we want to visit her is because she thinks we think she's going to die soon. We all know's she's getting on in years, but she's been saying it since for 10 years, now.

Edited 2013-12-11 06:09 (UTC)

I'm realizing how lucky I have with my parents after finding out what's going on in my extended family. Apparently my cousin, almost 25 and living a couple hours from home after graduating in May, felt so smothered by her mother that she didn't tell her parents that she had started dating a guy until they were actually engaged, an hour before her graduation ceremony. Her parents were then so devastated that my aunt didn't tell her sister (who she's pretty close to) about the fiancé until this past weekend, before my grandmother's 80th birthday party, and apparently she and my uncle have been going to counseling they're so upset and my cousin hadn't been home once since graduation until she came to my grandmother's party with the fiancé none of the rest of us had known about (except my grandmother) and it was majorly awkward. Meanwhile her 18 year old sister is still at home being dragged through her parents' angst. My parents are looking really good right now.

Jesus fuck that sounds like a primetime soap. I feel sorry for your younger cousin. :\

I know the feeling--it definitely gave me a sense of perspective and helped me appreciate my parents a lot more when I saw how toxic the parents of some of my friends were.

My uncle and his kids are coming over this Christmas. I love my cousins, they're awesome, but I want my uncle to die in a fucking fire. My mum was dying from cancer for months and this fucker never even ONCE bothered to pick up the damn phone and call her. The only time she spoke to him is when she called him by ACCIDENT, and it broke her goddamn heart that her own fucking brother could not be bothered to say goodbye to her.

So somehow I have to not speak to this asshole during Christmas, because I will rather eat glass than pretend to be nice to him. I won't start shit, but I'm sure as hell am not going to 'get along' for everyone else's sake.

The worst fucking part is that my nanna is already making excuses for him and I'm not sure if my aunt will have my back. My dad and I are united in our utter contempt for him, but my dad will be away, and the rest of the family have a really bad track record of 'but they're faaaamily'.

Uhhh...my parents? None that wouldn't feel silly for whining about. Mostly, they're too boring.

My extended family on the other hand...dear lord the inflated drama over petty little things! Five aunts, five uncles, a grandmother who half the family is transparently doing a countdown until she dies and they get her money, and a massive tangled web of petty payback for petty passive aggressive moves in response to petty disagreements and only half of them about tasteless little will-related details to rival Desperate Housewives without any sex and violence to give it flavor...I'm not sure whether I should dreading the two days we're going to spend with them or looking forward to just watching it avidly to see what unfolds.

That really sucks :( Could you sit down with your mum and talk about it, maybe explain what upsets you about the whole situation? She might still go through with it but she might not if she understands how you feel. She might just be feeling really lonely and the prospect of not being alone is clouding her judgement.

I'm sorry your holiday season sucks so far and I hope it gets better!

Is she inviting him to stay with you? If it's just for dinner or something... I can understand why you're upset, and she should have told you earlier, but I'm going to have to take her side. It's been a few years. She's allowed to have a life, and she shouldn't have to hide it from the rest of her family.

Agreed. I can totally understand why they're upset, but seriously I don't see the problem with their mother inviting him over for dinner. Especially if it has been a few years.

this, tbh. I do sympathize but it's been years rather than months or weeks since the father's passing. plus, the day after christmas doesn't really seem like a big deal like christmas or even christmas eve would. it's not like boxing day (or whatever americans have on the 26th, if they have anything at all) is a sacred day after all. and fifteen days in advance seems like a pretty suitable amount of warning. again, I can definitely understand having a strong reaction to it but at the same time I don't think the mother really deserves to be blamed for it unless there's something else going on that wasn't mentioned in the post. it seems like a difficult situation all around

The U.S. has no Boxing Day tradition except for the after Xmas sales.

Agreeing with this. I mean, I feel bad for [user name="shinyhappypanic"] feeling bad, but a few years isn't a small amount of time, and her mom is certainly entitled to move on and find some happiness, hard as it may be for other people. I'd feel differently if she wanted to invite a guy she'd known barely a month to celebrate Christmas like he was family (just to celebrate, not so much, but to celebrate like *family* yeah, that's different), but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

Yeah, I think I agree. To some degree, I sympathize--holidays are always a difficult time--but OP is kind of reacting as if her mother were hooking up when her father is barely cold in his grave--

Thrift, thrift, Horatio! The funeral bakemeats
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.

My parents recently got a suggestion to get me to spend less time on the computer and decided to limit internet time per day to four hours. I don't get chances to get out much since I have no ways of driving at the moment. and can only really talk to people at church on sunday.

It sucks. I wish they would get that forcing family time on me is NOT going to make me enjoy it. I mean I enjoy getting out of the house when I get a chance. It's not like I pass up chances to go out to spend time on the computer. The doctor suggested two walks a day. Not this.

*grumbles*

I wish that they would get that the internet is my de-stressing time. Just like my mom watches TV when she wants to unwind and on boring days she'll watch it a lot. Maybe the idea of spending long amounts of time online is foreign to them but for me it's like social interaction. I mean I have a very close friend group I talk to in Skype and being with them makes me happy and a lot of them are like me.

But this probably sounds stupid.

How is four hours--a quarter of your daily waking life--not enough time to spend reading fic and going on social media? Granted, it's pretty hypocritical of them to restrict your internet time when they may well be spending as much or more time glued to the TV. But somehow, even television is not as isolating as internet use.

Plus, people do have this thing about feeling that a member of the household is holing up in their room and shunning the rest of them. It bothers most of us.

well....thing is I'm looking for a job unable to go anywhere without assistance. Internet access is my portal to the world without having to depend on anyone else to take me places. It's not just reading fanfics and social media. It's talking to a support group of people through Skype so I don't get lonely.

I love going out places with them and jump at the chance, and when my sister and her bf come over or my brother is here I spend less time on my computer than usual. I come out occasionally to stretch my legs and attempt to make small talk sometimes. But sometimes when I'm called out randomly from doing something just to spend a few minutes and...I just don't know what to say and it's awkward and sometimes I get sniped at if someone's in a mood. I just....urghhh it's so uncomfortable. I like being social during events...but most of the time I like being on the computer working on personal projects in my room.

Not to mentions sometimes when I talk to my parents I'll talk about something I'm interested until they 're like "okay.. that's enough" and ...Idk I just feel like they don't care about what I have to say. and I don't know how to talk about anything else....I just.. communication and social skills are difficult for me.

True: it's unpleasant to be called away from something you're absorbed in, only to find that the person who summoned you so peremptorily just wanted you to look at a commercial they thought was cute. Worse still to venture out only to be made a scapegoat for someone else's bad mood. And worse than that, to be treated as if what you have to say is not worth hearing. (An ex-boyfriend of mine used to cut me off in mid sentence with "Excuse me, my eyes are glazing over here"--which is one of the reasons he's now ex, and good riddance.) I'm sorry you're in that situation.

Still, four hours seems like a fairly adequate chunk of time to spend online every day--you still have your job search, your walking, and other things to do, and four hours out of sixteen seems like a reasonable online/offline balance. The trick to making the best use of your scarce online time is to budget it like you'd budget your time in any other pursuit. Plan in advance how you're going to spend it, in the way that will give you the most satisfaction you can get in four hours. You can't do everything you might like to do, every day--any more than E. B. White could do everything on his to-do list in the terrific essay "Memorandum"--

TODAY I should carry the pumpkins and squash from the back porch to the attic. The nights are too frosty to leave them outdoors any longer. And as long as I am making some trips to the attic I should also take up the boat cushions and the charts and the stuff from the galley and also a fishing rod that belongs up in the attic. Today I should finish filling in the trench we dug for the water pipe and should haul two loads of beach gravel from the Naskeag bar to spread on top of the clay fill. And I should stop in and pay the Reverend Mr. Smith for the gravel I got a month or two ago and ask him if he has seen a bear.

(You get the idea. And it ends--I'm paraphrasing here--"well, it's starting to be dark outside, so I had better get going. Specially as I need to get a haircut while I am at it.")

Good luck!

Almost all of my extended family live half a continent away and my parents and sibling are a good 6 hour drive away. It's a rare thing I even get to see any of them save my immediate family on holidays. I get along very well with all of them and always have.. so I guess we discovered the secret to family harmony: live far away from everybody!

Sorry, OP, but you are the one who is being hateful here.

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[ SECRET POST #2534 ]

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