fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2540 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2540 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, for starters you could make him a good person. Your readers will cut your character more slack with his flirtations if they like him and feel like he's not a jerk. To do that, this character is going to need more actively good traits. Simply not harassing women or not raping/not condoning rape is... well, you don't give a guy e-cookies for that because that's the very basics of what a decent person should do. Ditto helping someone in distress.

I'd avoid words like "chivalrous" in this context. A lot of people are tired of decent behavior being elevated like that. It's like oh, you didn't grope a woman at a club even when you had the opportunity? Wow, my hero! I'd also avoid framing it like his good attitude toward women is trying to make up for his mother's mistreatment. You probably don't think of it this way, but it's a bit weird to think that all the women he meets symbolize his mother in that fashion. SO NOT SEXY.

A few things he could do to help:

* respect peoples' physical and emotional boundaries
* no stalking. Seriously, I don't know why people think this is romantic.
* take "no" graciously, without getting upset or trying to cajole her into a "yes"
* sincere compliments that aren't necessarily focused on appearance OR body parts
* an appreciation for a woman's skills and accomplishments, her personality, etc.
* use humor. Silly teasing, self-deprecating without wallowing in self-pity.
* have him be slightly awkward. It doesn't feel realistic to have a teenage kid be Mr. Smooth Operator when it comes to flirting.

Frankly, I'm not sure that looking for "lines" is the way to go, unless it's purposefully lame for comedic effect. A pick-up line has an inherent amount of skeeviness to it, and a teenage boy who has the confidence to flirt (with older women no less!) will already have his work cut out for him to NOT come off as an arrogant little shit.

On the first part, I know that things like not assaulting or not groping are basic decency. I just wanted to get that bit out of the way because I dunno I've seen people assume the worst of a character for being flirty. including other people I consulted about writing "so he's a guy and he's a bit of a flirt" "so he's one of THOSE guys, a skeeve, right?" "No...no he isn't!". But hey...I suck at talking especially late it night when I've had my medication so...bleh.

As for the chivalrous thing, I didn't mean that so much as basic decent behavior as...well let me explain it better. Even outside of flirting context he was brought up in a way by his mother to always be courteous to women and to never strike them. Also his aunt is a very formidable person as is an ex friend of his. He never even raises so much as a hand , even to stand up for himself , in defense. It's not that he sees his mother in all the women he meets, it's just....he has a personal code.

His 'chivalry' is in the sense that he always treats the girls he's with pretty much with high regard, like princesses, even some that don't treat him as well back. He also likes just talking to them, and having conversations. At one point he goes out and ends up just talking with a woman about a shared interest and enjoying himself more than he does when he hooks up with someone. He's often interested in talking with the people he talks to and having interesting conversations with them. He may acknowledged that they are attractive but not say it in a way that comes across ...well predatory.

He tends to view getting drawn into a hookup as a "stupid mistake" rather than an aim most of the time.

So sorry if I made it seem like he's supposed to be great for not groping or assaulting people. Because I don't. Your tips really helped, better than lines. I try to have him come across as a bit well dorky at times, or awkward or "oh shit I don't know what to say now". He tends to start of confident and hopeful and when he gets into the conversation he falters , and sometimes tries to drink alcohol himself to get up his nerves.

Bleh....I still sound like an asshole don't I? Sorry.

[ SECRET POST #2540 ]

Re: writing a male flirt who doesn't come across as "gross"

AYRT

SA