[ SECRET POST #2560 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2560 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 052 secrets from Secret Submission Post #366.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: This pissed me off (TW: suicide) - same here

[nyxelestia]

I'm like this for some of my family (namely mother) and several of my friends. And after a decade of having to be the emotional grown-up for my parents and every other person around me, getting horrendously sick and nearly failing out of my first semester of college, I have finally gotten over the "guilt" of just taking care of myself, emotionally, and not always being there for other people.

I am not a fucking professional and I have my own life, my own needs, and my own problems. If so many people have trouble just being able to deal with their own problems, why am I supposed to feel guilty about feeling the strain of dealing with my own problems AND half a dozen other people's problems?

I don't want to abandon anyone - but that includes myself.

Re: This pissed me off (TW: suicide) - same here

[making_excuses]

I failed out of two years of University because of my family, so I know where you are coming from. I hope you can continue to take care of yourself Nyxelestia and that you can put your needs first!

I am getting better, but sometimes I help them because they have no one else. And I can handle it (most of the time).

The attitude that you have to help someone no matter what is seriously fucked up, are we really supposed to sacrifice our own mental health for someone elses?

I try to remind myself that you can't help anyone if you aren't there for yourself too. It is a lifetime of habit i have to change, and mostly I don't want to change. In a twisted way I like being needed.

Re: This pissed me off (TW: suicide) - same here

[nyxelestia]

I've seen people tout both the whole "you should do whatever it takes to help someone and help them no matter what mentality", and also the "you should only ever have sex if you are 100% enthusiastic about it, anything less is a NO". I wonder what they would say if confronted with my situation of being involved with a couple with a Christmas terminal worth of baggage in themselves and in their relationship, and am at this point engaging with someone sexually even though I get literally no pleasure or personal benefit out of it and am mostly dealing with it for obligation, of the, "I know I should just step out but if I do, one of the couple will go into a spiral of depression and self-loathing and the other will go on a self-destructive streak of unprotected and unsafe sexual activity that will inevitably get them hurt or killed.

So I'm slowly easing out of it, but I'm still looking at months of sexual activity that I'm only engaging in to keep two other people from falling apart. -_- Fuck yes, I'm going to spend days or weeks refusing to see anyone except for school/work and not feeling at all guilty about it.

Re: This pissed me off (TW: suicide) - same here

[making_excuses]

The sex thing, in general: I have had sex more times than I can count without really being into it, none of those times count as rape (or anything close to rape), a lot of it was mostly: Long term relationship and they wanted sex and I just thought "meh, okay I'll do it...".

Then to your situation, that really sucks! I have no advice at all for you or any idea what to say except: if you need anyone to talk to I am around! Also it is your life, you can do whatever the fuck you want with it, and if that is doing what you are doing no one has the right to judge you, but also if you decide to stop the same thing applies!

Re: This pissed me off (TW: suicide) - same here

[nyxelestia]

Thank you. :) I may just take you up on that, one day. And I know people have no right to judge me, but sometimes ignoring their judgement gets tiring.

Re: This pissed me off (TW: suicide) - same here

[making_excuses]

You do that!

I know what you mean, for me to not be judged too much I walk a line between telling the truth and not telling everything to my friends, which means some knows more about my life than others, because they won't judge me, or change their opinion or treatment of me because something in my past or just something in my life right now. Which I have missjudged before, with not so funny consequences.

It is interesting how different people react to stuff tho.

Re: This pissed me off (TW: suicide) - same here

[(Anonymous)]

oh god. this. thank-you for summing it up so well.