fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2562 ]

[ SECRET POST #2562 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2562 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 044 secrets from Secret Submission Post #366.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Or, instead of holding a grudge, you could be happy to have someone to squee with over those books/series.

(And your friends/acquaintances don't have an obligation to drop what they're doing and read the book that you've recommended right then and there. Maybe by the time that they got around to reading the book, they'd remembered the recommendation and forgotten who'd given it to them.)

DA but I think you're assuming. You might be picturing someone who says "Oh, btw, I finally read that book you were talking about! My other friend also likes it. Now the three of us can squee over it together!" They seem to be talking about someone who, when recced something will say "Oh, I don't like that thing, it looks boring." and then later say "I got into this thing it's SO GREAT why aren't you into this thing?" which is really irritating.

I'm not assuming. I understand exactly what they're saying.

Everyone has it happen to them where they say, "I like X! You should read/see it!"

And the other person says, "No way, dude. It looks like a total snore."

And then months or years later, the other person "discovers" the thing that you recommended and, in their enthusiasm, re-recommends it to you as something that you should read.

Yes, you could hold a grudge over it. Or you could say, "Hey, I really enjoyed X too! My favorite part was..." And enjoy the thing together.

It all depends on how dedicated you are to having your nose out of joint.

(And I stand by my other point, which is that no one owes it to the original poster to drop their life to read/consume media according to the original poster's schedule. They might not be at a point in their life when they have the time, energy, interests, or experience to enjoy it. And frankly, the original poster's huffiness that someone took a moment to think "Hey, OP might like this! I should pass it along." isn't particularly endearing to me.)

Okaaay I don't see any point in arguing this anymore.

I'm not arguing with you or trying to change your opinion. I'm telling you that I didn't misunderstand anything and meant exactly what I said.

Okay I'm out after this but I didn't actually think you were misunderstanding something, just that you were making assumptions about what this unknown person could have been like. I'm also making my own assumptions because we don't actually know the other side of the story.

I'm not interested in the unknown person. I'm remarking on OP's response to them.

I always have to laugh at people who pretend to be too high-minded to hold a grudge. A flourishing grudge or two gives spice to life!

I never said I was high-minded or never held a grudge. But this is just petty, especially since the extent of OP's reaction to the perceived slight is to passive-aggressively complain to strangers on the internet.

Idk, I can understand being irritated with someone doing it if they do it fairly often because...well. Them forgetting you recced it regularly does start feeling like they completely ignore what you say. So I don't see any harm in being irritated as long as you don't lash out.

I don't see the point of being irritated and doing nothing about it.

I have a friend who is literally about two years behind me in my interests. She's never interested in things when I'm crazy about them, forgets my recs, and then dives into them whole-heartedly the aforementioned two years later. And she demands that I read/watch whatever I was raving about originally, having completely forgotten that I was the one who told her about it in the first place.

And, as I said above, it's still an opportunity to enjoy something I like with someone I like.

Plus, it just rubs me the wrong way that OP is miffed that someone a.) thought about them when they didn't have to and b.) knows them well enough to predict they'd like a thing when they see that thing. That's a lot of caring.

So what if OP's seen it before? Take your lemons, stop looking for offense where none was meant, and make your damn lemonade.

Frankly, the OP didn't seem offended so much as just sick of the behavior and venting - which is "doing something about it" that also happens to not hurt a friend that the OP, presumably, cares about.

The reasons you gave for it rubbing you the wrong way? That rubs me the wrong way. It smacks of the attitude of "Well someone did something for you, so you must be grateful or you're a selfish bitch!" The OP does not have to feel grateful for it.

Look, I'm bored with this conversation and talking to people who seem determined to be offended over nothing.

I'm not entirely certain why it's hurtful to just say, "Hey, it bugs me that you're not capable of remembering the minute details of the boring crap I tell you about on a fairly regular basis on the off-chance that someday you might like that thing too and can then give me credit for having superior taste and for finding that book/fic you liked before you ever even knew it was a thing. Also? If you see something that I'll like, just assume that I saw it first and don't tell me about it. Thanks."

Oh wait. That would require someone to acknowledge that a.) everyone has lives and b.) credit doesn't always end up where you think it should because people are fallible.

Frankly, if OP isn't going to sack up and tell the friend that Y behavior bothers him/her then OP needs to learn to look on the bright side and stop being offended by every little slight, real or perceived, because that much built up and unaired resentment is unhealthy.

And FYI? I pretty much stopped reading at the gender slur. Because to me, that signals the end of a conversation.

Which this now is.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2562 ]

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