fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2571 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2571 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Revenge]

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[Vatta's War - Trading in Danger]

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[Dirty Rotten Scoundrels]

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[Doctor Who]

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[Sherlock]

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[Mass Effect]

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[Sleepy Hollow]

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[Star Trek: The Next Generation]

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11. [tb2]

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12. [repeat]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 022 secrets from Secret Submission Post #367.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have no idea who this guy is, but I know that feeling.

Hot guy/girl has kids? Instantly loses a million 'attractive' points.

I'm sure you already know and don't really care, but that's kinda misogynistic bullshit you're spreading there.

not ayrt, and not necessarily disagreeing, but i feel like i'm going to need to see your reasoning on this one

You must have encountered the "Girl has a child - is used up and not pure - is worthless slut and should be shunned" mentality?

But AYRT specifically said "Hot girl/guy". If it was just 'girl', I'd definitely agree with you, but I have a hard time seeing how it's really misogynistic as is.

There is no existing societal abuse targeted at the guy in that sentence, so the comment does not feed into any negative assumptions about guys.

Their statement DOES support the idea that women with children are gross and sullied, tho, especially since we were not even talking about women in the first place, we were discussing guys with kids, Why bring up the fact that you consider women with kids less attractive in this argument?

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-01-17 00:51 (UTC) - Expand

comma_chameleon - 2014-01-17 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-01-17 00:55 (UTC) - Expand

But the anon you replied to talked about both men and women, and the "used up and not pure"-mentality doesn't usually apply to guys.

If anything it sounds more like anon doesn't care for children.

Maybe the AYRT doesn't like or want kids and the ability to fantasize about someone who they know is a parent drops to nothingness? I'm not sure how that's misogynistic. If anon had commented about it just being mothers or something, okay maybe.

People can't help what they're attracted to. Or not attracted to in this case. Some people just really can't deal with children. If you will pay for their re-programming, fine. If not, leave them be.

I hope that re-programming thing was a joke? Dude, creepy! O.o

DA- Some people just find parenthood and all that entails attractive. I honestly don't see how that equals misogyny.

*don't find parenthood yadda yadda attractive.

Sounds immature to me. I mean, in person, if the single somebody you're flirting with turns out to be a single parent, I'd understand saying, "Nope, children aren't for me (right now or ever or whatever)." But finding out a fictional character is a parent and nopeing out? That seems like, "Daddies/mommies aren't cool or sexy - nopppppe." But people are more than the role they fulfill. As in, you may be a daughter or a son, but that's not the ONLY thing you are. So it's pretty ridiculous to just cross all the parents off the list because they're somebody's parent. But then you see a lot of that around general fandom spaces. It just always seems immature.

Enh... usually attraction has possibility of leading to a relationship, so to me, noping out on someone when you find out they're a parent if you don't ever want kids seems like a good idea to me.

Whereas yes it might be strange to nope out on a fictional character (or an actor or whathaveyou) because your attraction won't lead to a relationship, but sometimes it's a visceral reaction that's been conditioned by you noping out from real people. It's possible they can't help that reaction even though the person isn't 'real'.

To me that's not immature. I don't ever want kids. If I found out someone I was dating had them (or wanted them), I'd be gone so fast I'd leave skid marks. That's not immature, that's prudent. Why lead someone on when you're not compatible?

This. I never, ever want children, so my reaction would be the same. There's no point in investing energy and emotions into a relationship when you know that you aren't compatible on a very important, fundamental level.

THIS!!!

Very much this.

Except, to some people (me included), daddies and mommies AREN'T sexy. And since fantasizing about fictional characters is all about fantasy, why waste time on something you don't find attractive?

It's okay to not like things, or to not be attracted to certain traits. Some people just aren't interested in parenting, or being in relationships with parents. And this crosses over to fantasy and fap material - if I didn't like blondes, why would I fantasize about a blonde actress? Same thing.

Also - once you're a parent, if you're a GOOD parent, you're one for life. It's definitely not the only thing you are, but children aren't something you can just handwave away.

NAYRT, so now you're saying that it's not misogynistic, it's immaturity?

I'm not the misogyny anon.

Seconded! Which is why it's fan-disservice rather than fanservice to me when characters have to take care of random babies (ala recent Supernatural) and I actually stopped watching Scrubs because at some point every episode became about pregnancies and kids.

To the anon who said misogyny is at fault: *lol* nope, just an intense dislike for small kids and all the grossness and stress involved in taking care of them. It applies to men just as much. No one has ever been made more attractive by having to wake up five times a night, cleaning up shit, being vomited on, etc. I also value independence highly (in fictional characters as well as rl people) and nothing will take that away like a baby. I mean, kudos to people who do it, thanks for taking a bullet for society and all, but I don't want to be anywhere near them.

That said, in Crane's case it doesn't really apply for me, because that kid is long gone and he never even met it.

I feel sorry for your parents.

DA

Why?

DA
Probably something to do with "owing them grandchildren" which is a disturbing idea itself.

What has that go to do with my parents? O.o Because I owe them grandchildren or something? (Right, I have to sacrifice 20 years of my life because society demands it... Nope. I'd rather be happy.) May I ask what century you live in? Because this planet is overpopulated as it is. How do you even know my parents want grandchildren? Besides I have enough siblings to take care of that. My brother loves kids and will be a great, happy dad! Me? I'd be an awful mother, because I dislike children immensely. Forcing one on me is hardly in the kid's best interest, either!