[ SECRET POST #2591 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2591 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #370.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

12. http://i.imgur.com/JOY5X5j.png

[sarillia]

SO sounds kind of dickish. If I tell someone who cares about me that I don't like being teased about something then I expect them to stop or there's going to be a problem.

[(Anonymous)]

Your SO sounds like they don't know what it means to be someone's SO. Like, I'm pretty sure one of the cardinal rules is to not be a joy-thieving asshole who makes your partner feel little for enjoying a harmless hobby. I know this is just one thing, and that they probably have many good qualities as well, but that seems like a red flag kind of problem that should probably be addressed sooner rather than later if you hope to have a healthy relationship.

[inevitableentresol]

"joy thief"

good description

[(Anonymous)]

Seconding the "SO sounds like a dick" opinion. If you've let SO know that it bothers you and needs to stop, SO should stop, period. If you can't let SO know how much it bothers you because he'd only ramp up his efforts... well, maybe you should reconsider being with someone who obviously enjoys upsetting you. Relationships don't have to be like that.

Call him on it. Ask him why he needs to belittle something that you do for fun when it doesn't hurt anyone and doesn't concern him at all. If he counters with something like "It's dumb blah blah blah", listen calmly and tell him that it's fine he thinks that because he doesn't have to do it. You like it, you're going to keep doing it, and he needs to keep his "teasing"* to himself from now on.


* Quotation marks because it's not teasing and don't let him gaslight you into "it's only a joke" or "lighten up" remarks. At best, he's being insensitive and petty. At worst, he's a bullying asshole.

[(Anonymous)]

The secret is making me wonder if SO belittles and ridicules the OP in other ways--little jabs that he can pass off as "just a joke."

[(Anonymous)]

It might be time to talk to your SO about the fact that this is a subject where you find their teasing to be hurtful. Even if it can be embarrassing to bring it up, sometimes people need to be told when what they're joking about (or the way they're doing it) isn't funny for you.

[diet_poison]

+1 to all these comments...he sounds pretty insensitive. Why would he try to be a buzzkill for something you obviously enjoy?

[(Anonymous)]

If you don't want to let him see that this hurts you, you could try putting on a quizzical expression and asking him what's up with him being Captain Buzzkill all of a sudden. That's a pretty valid question, IMO. Also, odds are he's got a hobby/interest you don't find interesting. Ask him if he'd like someone to go out of their way to try and spoil his fun [insert hobby here].

But honestly, this guy sounds like a dude who doesn't know how to be a good friend, nevermind SO.

[(Anonymous)]

With the thread that SO sounds like an ass. Even if that's how your relationship is, if something he says bothers you, let him know, if he still gives you shit, dump him.

[(Anonymous)]

I was once the SO in this situation. I'm not proud of it. He needs to knock it off. You should never have to feel bad about a harmless thing you do that's fun and makes you happy.

[(Anonymous)]

You have clearance to dismiss this fandom-impeding killjoy.

[forgottenjester]

Why do you have an SO that makes you feel like shit for doing something innocent that makes you happy?

A little teasing? Fine, whatever. Teasing you more after you say your feelings have been hurt by their original teasing? The fuck? I wouldn't let strangers treat me that way, let alone someone I care about.

But OP? Do what makes you happy. Continue the ask blog. Don't be embarrassed about that. I'd be more ashamed of your SO. They sound horrible.

[nightscale]

Ngl your SO sounds like a bit of a dick tbh, my other half teases me about the fannish things I like sometimes(mostly shipping) but he never makes me feel ashamed for liking it.

I agree with the other comments suggesting talking to him about it, it bothers you so you need to let him know that it's not okay.

[(Anonymous)]

I dated someone like that, once... Once.

[(Anonymous)]

I just blocked a friend on chat because of this, kind of... he said he was "just teasing" me about my fandom interests, but it made me feel really uncomfortable.
like reading my typical fangirling as IRL sexual fantasies, and I don't know how to explain that the fact that his mind goes there is both inaccurate and really creepy to me...

[diet_poison]

...ew, yeah, that is pretty creepy. and also wtf-y

[thistlechaser]

I hope you find a better SO. Sorry he's such an ass.