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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-02-12 06:40 pm

[ SECRET POST #2598 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2598 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #371.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
Inspired by a comment above...

Does anyone ever feel like their way of masturbation is weird/wrong?

I'm a cis female but vaginal intercourse does nothing for me. If I'm alone and don't have to worry about pleasing some guy, I'm all about the anal (combined with a clitoral/external vibrator of some type). I've gone through phases of trying to make myself like vaginal penetration and stop the anal because it's 'abnormal' and obviously I'm doing it wrong but I always give up and go back to it because it feels way better to me. I still always feel guilty though, like 'I'm not supposed to do it like this.'

Has anyone else ever felt this way or am I just a total weirdo?

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
I've never dared to go near anal, so I have no idea about that, but by myself it's usually not worth the effort to do anything with penetration. Clit stuff is definitely sufficient for me.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
SA

Also, you're not weird or doing it wrong.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
Another cis female here-- exact same boat. I get off so much harder through anal. (In fact, I basically don't get off through vaginal at all, the running joke is that my g-spot is in my ass.) Don't feel like you're doing anything wrong! That's just how your body works, and there's no shame in that. You go get them orgasms, lady.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
My clit is suuuuper sensitive and despite trying many times I haven't yet worked out a way to use my hand (or a vibrator) to make myself feel good, let alone orgasm, so usually I just masturbate by squeezing my thighs together. Which is super easy and convenient and not messy at all - but also not conducive to partner sex. Also the times I've tried it I've found vaginal penetration quite painful - which I know can be normal. But still.
/anon worried she might never be able to have fulfilling partner sex

So basically you sound pretty normal when compared to me. I don't think you should feel bad about knowing what makes you feel good and what doesn't, at any rate.
vethica: (Default)

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

[personal profile] vethica 2014-02-13 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
Dude, that's not weird or wrong! It's totally good that you have a way that works for you. ♥

As for myself, I can't masturbate at all, which I think is weirder. :P

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
The ONLY way I have ever been able to orgasm is through humping. A pillow or a blanket, something like that. I have tried fingering myself and a vibrator many times but it gets boring quick. It doesn't feel bad, but it's not great and I give up and just finish off with some grinding. Honestly if I grind on something I can orgasm and finish in like a minute or two, which also seems weird and really takes the fun (or what is supposed to be the fun I guess) out of masturbating.

I know that humping on stuff is normal for plenty of vagina owners but I still feel fucked up, and dread penetration sex in case it does nothing for me. It was also sort of a bummer when I had a long distance relationship. I was too ashamed to try and be sexy while doing my pillow so I pretended to finger myself and faked an orgasm lol.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
Same. And it's just feels kind of weird because I'm a girl idk but girls are supposed to not do that as often?

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
Same for me, actually - humping is pretty much the only way I can go, or anything that simulates that kind of pressure.

Even weirder for me is I have no bladder or urination kinks whatsoever, but I get off fastest/best when I have a full bladder - the internal pressure really helps with the humping.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 06:18 am (UTC)(link)
I'm the same, you're certainly not alone.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
You would be surprised the number women out there for whom vaginal penetration does nothing for them. For me, the only time I like vaginal penetration is when it's being done by a penis. Other than that, I could pass. And even when it is a penis, I never get off. It feels good but never to the point of orgasm. I can only cum through clitoral stimulation and it has to be done manually. When ever I try to use a vibe, it takes me forever to cum.

Everyone's different. Don't feel bad.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
No. I get why you do though. There's a lot of cultural baggage for women in regards to getting pleasure out of sex. It is pretty common for women to have hang-ups about it. All I can say is that you should keep doing what feels good.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
To add to that: getting pleasure out of sex that doesn't come from a penis. We're basically taught that the clit's just a bonus (if you're lucky enough to get taught about the clitoris in the first place) and if a guy fucking you isn't good enough to get you off then something's wrong.

Sex with my first boyfriend was godawful because I couldn't get off from him pounding me, he thought the answer was just fucking me harder (which made it just sort of hurt), and since it didn't work (I hadn't really figured out masturbation and I'd never had an orgasm) there were a lot of feelings of inadequacy which developed into some pretty nasty resentment. On both of our parts, really.

I don't blame him now because we were both idiots that had been taught "how to sex" through pornography and absolute bare-bones sex-ed ("man puts penis in woman and there is ejaculation but don't you dare do it until you're married!!!"), and it wasn't until I was well into college and met some very sympathetic, informative, and open-minded friends that I got all that baggage stored away.

Basically, my point is, OP, that's it's a wonderful thing that you're able to give yourself pleasure. There's no right or wrong way to do it, and you should never feel bad that vaginal stimulation doesn't do anything for you.

And, maybe more importantly, don't psyche yourself out worrying about only "pleasuring your partner", because that's not your entire responsibility and you are absolutely entitled to make sure that you're getting equal treatment in getting off as well.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2014-02-13 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
There really aren't weird or wrong ways of masturbating though... everyone is physiologically a little different. Liking anal better because you happen to have more nerve endings in your sphincter than your vaginal walls isn't incorrect, it just is.

The only way you could possibly masturbate wrong is by doing it so hard that you like... break your genitals somehow.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
Well, I can cum from masturbating normally but I really get off when I penetrate my urethra. Try explaining that one to someone. I haven't even mentioned it to close friends or anything because of how infrequently people seem to enjoy it, but according to my body it just feels great.
lynx: (Default)

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

[personal profile] lynx 2014-02-13 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
This is totally ok, OP, don't you worry /o/ There's no such thing as an "abnormal" body.

(On the other hand, I really want to try anal stimulation but I think I might need some lidocaine :< Last time I attempted it, I hurt myself. Pointers are welcome.)

PS: If you like intense anal play, maybe you'd enjoy figging? :3 Look it up.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
Hi! I can try to give you a few tips, if you like. What is it that you did, if you don't mind my asking?
lynx: (Default)

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

[personal profile] lynx 2014-02-13 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks, anon!

Lubed up externally, tried to insert my (also lubed) index finger. My nails are always trimmed short and I used plenty of lube, but I think I got too nervous :( Couldn't loose myself up enough to go further than the tip of it and at the first hint of pain I got it out on reflex.

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
Aw, yeah, the nerves will totally kill you :( Hmm, what position were you in? On your back is sort of an awkward angle for your wrist, so I tend to prefer either on my side with my legs tucked up or up on my knees so I can reach behind me.

I think the most important thing really is to take your time and let your body get used to the sensations; take a little time to just rub around before trying to penetrate. That feels nice in and of itself, so it's a fun way to warm up.

Another thing it's important to remember is that the anus actually has two sphincters, and the inner one is a lot less voluntarily controlled than the other! They're close together, so that might be the problem you ran into by getting nervous; we tend to clench up when we're nervous, so that second sphincter was probably just like NOPE, NOT OPENING UP RIGHT NOW.

If there's anything else I can try to answer, I'd be happy to!
lynx: (Default)

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

[personal profile] lynx 2014-02-13 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
... Wow, can you believe the position thing didn't come to mind? Because yeah, on the back is totally awkward, and even then I didn't think to change that :'D

Didn't think of the second sphincter either |D I'm kind of feeling really silly now, but also very grateful! It's good to learn. Thanks for the tips, you were a lot of help <3 (I don't think you forgot anything and I can't think of further questions either for now, but maybe I could ask for more info next time this topic comes around u//u)

Re: Obviously TMI--weird masturbation habits/thoughts?

(Anonymous) 2014-02-13 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
Haha, don't feel silly, these things sort of slip your mind. I'm glad that I could help! And if you need to ask anything else later on, I'm usually drifting around the comments at some point during the day, so I'm sure I'll see it. ^^