Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2014-02-15 03:32 pm
[ SECRET POST #2601 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2601 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Re: Vagina too tight for PIV sex? Or something else?
(Anonymous) 2014-02-16 02:41 pm (UTC)(link)I know that vaginal sex is the norm, but ideally I would recommend anyone to only give it a go when it feels nice to be touched there. Either by yourself, someone else, using fingers, toys, whatever. Same goes for anal sex. If you don't enjoy being touched there, then there should be a pretty good (other) reason to give it a go.
In general, give your body the time to get properly into it. Relax, take your time, explore your own and his body, let him explore yours and his own, take a bath or a shower because the warmth will help. (Take a bath together to really get things going...)
Experiment with foreplay and see what works best for you, and what works best for your vagina. I read this once somewhere and it really works for me, breast and nipple play get me going like nothing else, but it could be something completely different for you. (A long session of oral sex, also gets me really loose and wet.)
Most importantly when having sex, either vagina or anus need to be ready to get penetrated. You might think you're ready, you might be really, really aroused, but listen to your body, check if your vagina is ready. This might take some time, because our brain is aroused much faster than our body. Take the time to learn to listen to your vagina.
Everybody is talking about lube and yes, it is important to be wet. Either from yourself or from lube. But personally, I find that looseness, the willingness of my vagina to accept penetration is much more important and that, unfortunately, cannot be bought.
On top is probably the best position because you can move your body to make the penetration more comfortable. On the other hand, if there is another position that gets you going more (for me, that would be doggy style...) maybe you should opt for that.
Toys. There are plenty of household items you can use, just make sure they're not sharp and use a condom. (Of course, 'real' toys are always a better option.)
Have I been misinterpreting a hymen as a too-tight vagina? Or are too-tight vagina and hymen separate issues with distinct sensations? If we did just tear my hymen, would this mean next time my boyfriend and I attempt PIV, it will go smoothly, or do I still need to find a way to really stretch myself somehow?
All hymens are different, some women don't have a hymen at all. It sounds to me like your vagina is on the tight side, give it time, experiment and if it doesn't work, consider seeing a professional.
I was looking forward to this (and I was hoping to work my way up to anal sex after this - does this vaginal issue indicate that attempting anal sex is a bad idea?).
Vaginal sex isn't the end all and be all. It really, really isn't. Also, it's not a competition, there is no real goal except the joy that it can give you and your boyfriend. And you know what, based on what you said about hoping to work your way up to anal sex, why not start with anal sex? Why not make anal play part of the foreplay for the vaginal sex? (Just make sure you use condoms and always change condoms when going from anal to vaginal sex.)
tl;dr Foreplay, the longer the better. Listen to your body, check if you're ready.