fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2605 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2605 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Slenderman]

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[Saints Row 3]

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[Doctor Who]

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[Welcome to Night Vale, My Mad Fat Diary]

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06.

[The Middle]

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[Steven Universe]

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08.

[Kyuhyun and Seohyun]

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[Disney]

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[Teen Wolf]

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11.

[Thor: Dark World]

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[The Avengers/Clark Gregg]

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13.

[Teen Wolf]

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14.

[Hannibal]

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15.

[Fate/Stay Night]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #372.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This got a little tl;dr and it's only just one person's personal stroy, but here goes:

My gender fluidity is a result of being born trans and raised to be cis. I'm also hetero cis and homo trans, which confused me for a long time. I never had anyone to talk to about it and adhered mostly to the gender roles in which I was raised. Now I present as a man sometimes and a woman sometimes, so I think of myself as gender fluid. I don't care about pronouns or how the world sees me or what the world thinks. But I do care about how I see myself in the mirror and how certain people in my life perceive me depending on how I'm presenting. Those people are understanding and supportive and make my life better in every way, not the least of which has to do with my gender issues. One is my SO and coming out to them was the bravest thing I have ever done. I am fortunate that their sexuality is compatible and that they find me mentally and physically and sexually attractive as both a man and a woman. But if that hadn't been the case, I don't think I could have gone back to living by one gender role. Once I'd admitted everything to myself it was hard to do that, but I think it would have been impossible once I'd verbalized it to a loved one.

tl;dr - The gender roles I was raised to adhere to are so ingrained at this point in my life that I can't permanently transition, but I can't face the hellish existence that was living solely by those same gender roles.

This makes sense to me and thank you for sharing such a personal story. I might be wording this badly, but it's just the people who say that wearing different clothes is what makes them gender-fluid that confuse me, but then I don't know their whole story and it's not my business.

...that's pretty much what you said before and I totally missed it and I'm sorry. I got so wrapped up in memories and feelings that I just...yeah, sorry.

It could be anything, really. It might be that they are struggling with gender identity and one way to cope or test things out is to be very overt about it. It could e that they're doing it to mask something else, reasoning that they'd rather be ridiculed for something that doesn't really apply to them than something that does. It could be they want to be a special snowflake. It could be that their cat Snowflake ran away from home. Ok, it probably isn't the cat, but what do I know?

I try not to judge but it's hard not to sometimes, especially if I get the special snowflake vibe from someone. I don't know why but I find it insulting and feel almost like it invalidates my personal struggle. I think, too, that I'm jealous of people who grew up or live in an environment where they are free to express something outside of what were societal norms when I was growing up.

I just try to remind myself that I don't know their whole story, as you say, and also that I can't feel what they're feeling. I don't know what their motivation is. Who they are right this second is not the only person they've ever been or ever will be, and that even if it is a special snowflake fad it's still a valid thing in their life at that moment.

I'm not always able to remember that stuff and sometimes I just want to throw something.

It's okay! I was worried about how I sounded in my original post and I still feel like I'm tripping all over myself. I do appreciate the perspective you've given me. And I'm glad I'm not alone with my frustrations. I think I understand why you would be frustrated/jealous of that.

[ SECRET POST #2605 ]

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