fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2606 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2606 ⌋

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I can somewhat relate to this. My mother has a terrible relationship with her boyfriend, but she hounds at mine for the slightest grievance. Her boyfriend has been verbally (and once physically) abusive to her, calling her "ugly", "fat", and all sorts of horrible things. I have tried over the years to talk to her about getting help and getting time away from him, but it's like pulling teeth.

In contrast, I have dated people who have been the complete opposite of her relationship. They might not have a lot of money or may be a bit ditsy, but I have always been treated well and with respect by my partners. Yet my mother will get on my partners for things like not treating me to a fancy restaurant on a weekend or something equally as trivial. And it can be exhausting trying to justify to her the stability of my current long term relationship with this great guy I'm with.

Oh lord, that sound similar. Not the shitty bf, because my parents have been married for like 40 years, but the whole not treating you to a fancy restaurant and stuff like that is exactly something my mum would
pick on.

I don't know if your mom does this or not, but my boyfriend is also heavily into gaming, and when my mom picked up on that she told me he's just a boy and that I should go find someone more mature. Even though I am also just as much into gaming as my boyfriend is, which is why he and I can get along so well. My boyfriend is mature where it counts, such as following through with his promises, being respectful, being supportive, and always stepping up to the plate when there's an issue. But trying to talk about this with my mother leads to nowhere because he's into games and games are for children.

I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but...I think your mother might be trying to justify the treatment she receives in her own relationship by finding things to criticize about your own. I think that it's less the "where is this going" thing and more the "what I'm experiencing isn't so bad, just look at [x,y,z]" thing.

Keep offering her your support. I hope that some day she's ready to take it.

Nah, you're fine. I honestly suspected that too. She also tends to project onto me quite often, so she doesn't understand why I might decide to do something she wouldn't and vice versa.

She's in counseling right now, after years of trying to talk her into going. But I still think she needs at the very least couples therapy. She relies on me a lot, to the point where she has called me 60 times in an hour and can't be in the house alone and needs me to stay with her when she is. She even told me she I was abandoning her by leaving for another state with my boyfriend. I love my mother and I don't mind supporting her right now, but I'm leaving the state soon and I can't always rush to her when she needs something.

I kind of just needed to vent about it. :/

[ SECRET POST #2606 ]

Re: Presumptions about relationships and their "purpose" really piss me off.

OP

Re: OP

Re: Presumptions about relationships and their "purpose" really piss me off.

Re: Presumptions about relationships and their "purpose" really piss me off.