Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-02-21 07:25 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-02-21 07:25 pm
[ SECRET POST #2607 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2607 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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12.
[Shaun of the Dead]
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13. http://i.imgur.com/Lnyxfbz.jpg
[link for porny, doujinshi]
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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
14. [SPOILERS for DRAMAtical Murder]
[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
15. [WARNING for rape]
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16. [WARNING for rape, pedophilia]
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17. [WARNING for molestation]
[Gatchaman Crowds]
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18. [WARNING for dub-con]
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19. [WARNING for molestation]
http://i.imgur.com/tm7SaaX.jpg
[Shingeki no Kyojin, molestation scene? in image]
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #372.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: So I have a problem...
(Anonymous) 2014-02-22 12:57 am (UTC)(link)Her choice to ask you how you felt implies that your opinion matters here; the fact that she's asked your opinion before and then brushed it off when you didn't rubber-stamp the choice she'd already made is a valid concern for you to have, but if you have reasons that you can offer to explain your feelings, that might encourage an actual dialogue and negotiation. She may have felt last time like it was an all-or-nothing situation, where you overruled her or she overruled you, with no chance for understanding or explanation. To try to avert that this time, show her why you're so opposed to her doing this kind of work - so she won't jump to conclusions about how you view her friend, for one thing - and try to negotiate a solution that you can both be content with.
Explaining to her the source of your resistance might dispel any misconceptions she has about your motives, too. If she thought you objected to her nude modeling "because he's a controlling jerk, so the heck with what he thinks," she might be surprised to learn that your real feelings looked more like (for instance), "I connect nudity with emotional intimacy, so it makes me feel insecure when she does nude modeling because I feel like I'm being left behind." She might be willing to dismiss the reasoning she thinks you have, but not the feelings you actually have. Even if that doesn't turn out to be the case, communication is definitely important here.
For the record, you do get credit for not making the mistake of thinking you can forbid anything. It is her body, and she does have the right to do what she wants with it. But the relationship belongs to both of you, and the fact that she's asking how you feel about this implies that she thinks your feelings should matter in some way - maybe not enough to overrule her feelings, but certainly enough not to be completely disregarded without another thought or attempted reassurance.