fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2607 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2607 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

[Shaun of the Dead]

__________________________________________________

13. http://i.imgur.com/Lnyxfbz.jpg
[link for porny, doujinshi]

__________________________________________________

[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

14. [SPOILERS for DRAMAtical Murder]

[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

15. [WARNING for rape]

__________________________________________________

16. [WARNING for rape, pedophilia]

__________________________________________________

17. [WARNING for molestation]

[Gatchaman Crowds]

__________________________________________________

18. [WARNING for dub-con]

__________________________________________________

19. [WARNING for molestation]
http://i.imgur.com/tm7SaaX.jpg
[Shingeki no Kyojin, molestation scene? in image]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #372.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Be honest with her, full out. I disagree with the people saying things sound unhealthy; it sounds like you two do have a basis of trust and mutual respect for each other's feelings and choices to work off of. The fact that she invites your input even while retaining (rightfully) the final decision over matters like these is a good sign, as is your recognition that your visceral feelings do not give you a right to try and lay down the law for her - and your clarity on whether it would be a dealbreaker for you. Choices come up in relationships all the time that do not necessarily have an "everyone winds up perfectly happy in the end" option on the menu; what's important is that you are both capable of understanding that TWO people's emotions and senses of security (financial and/or emotional) and wellbeing are involved.

So just tell her. Like, that you wanted to take the time to think instead of giving a knee-jerk response, but ultimately there's a discomfort for you that wasn't just gut reaction and isn't going away, and you may not even be able to explain it rationally or legitimately beyond a visceral emotional feeling. BUT that your feelings for HER take priority over your feelings about her means of earning a living, and you appreciate her desire to factor your feelings into her decision, and that as much as you might never feel okay with it - and may struggle with something as common to relationship as sharing details of the day's work with each other - you'll continue to be there for her without judgment of HER if she does it.

I suspect you two are capable of a calm and productive discussion along those lines (or whatever lines are the truth for you). But be DAMN sure of whatever you say and whether you can really keep your visceral dislike of her work reined in and separate from her feelings for her as a person. The biggest dick move would be promising her otherwise and then pulling any kind of judgmental crap later even if just in the heat of an argument or in a bad mood. She asked for your input so give it to her, but be prepared to follow through on whatever it is.

I also disagree with the people saying it sounds like "an unhealthy relationship" and throwing words like "codependent" and "pushover" around. We'd need to know a lot more about the relationship before anyone could make that kind of judgement.

The above is good advice.

It's difficult when you know one thing, but you feel differently, and can't help how you feel.

Perhaps trying to understand where she's coming from, her reasons for doing what she's doing, and how she feels about modelling & camwork.

I always get a codependent vibe from relationship advice threads. That's why I think fandomsecrets is a terrible place to go for relationship advice. Tone doesn't translate over text, it's hard to tell where OP is coming from when you don't really know the whole story, and we're not relationship experts.

This is a very good reply. Thank you very much.

Best advice in the thread, tbh.

Really good, common sense shit right here.

[ SECRET POST #2607 ]

Re: So I have a problem...

Re: So I have a problem...

Re: So I have a problem...

Re: So I have a problem...

Re: So I have a problem...

Re: So I have a problem...