fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2615 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2615 ⌋

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Okay, this is apparently a difficult thing for some people (men) to get their heads around, but women are often taught to think the worst case scenario when it comes to creepy guys. Guy following you into the dark parking lot? Could be a rapist, get your mace/keys/knife out just in case! Guy making a really creepy comment when delivering your pizza? Shut the door and lock all windows just in case! Man stopping in a car and offering you a ride home? Do not get in the car he will probably rape and murder you!

Like, it's not that I would really think 100% these dudes are evil rapists, but it's definitely on the mind. It's kind of brainwashed in my repeated warnings at this point.

Yeah, pretty much.

This is very true. As a woman, you pretty much are indoctrinated to believe that almost every man is a potential threat. I can't even have a phone call with my mother, without her reminding me to not wear headphones when I go out to walk somewhere, so I don't get raped.

this. I don't want to be influenced by it, but all the warnings you get (and rape culture) kinda puts the responsibility on you.

Every time I see a comment like this I thing: Really? Really? So I'm a woman who wasn't "educated" about being scared all the time or just other people life in a very unsafe environment. Because one thing is being careful, specially when a guy is being creepy, other is to think always in the worst case scenario.

I think*
live*

Ugh, I'm to tired to type correctly.

Orrrrrr maybe people are different and react differently to the constant barrage of rape culture bullshit. Maybe these comments aren't true for every single person everywhere in the world and you need to maybe not take things so personally. Just a thought.

If those kind of comments weren't so common, I would just shrug and move on.
But if people keep insisting that most women spend their life being scared, I have to wonder.

The problem is the overwhelming responsibility that's put onto women to prevent anything from happening to them, far beyond what's rational, while at the same time being chastised for it. In that situation given, there's no way she can win: either she's seen as paranoid and a terrible person for assuming that he intended her harm, but she acts accordingly and stays safe-- or, if something had happened, she would be told she wasn't observant enough and it's still her fault for letting him in. This is how our culture reacts. To assume otherwise is just shutting your eyes.

I never had to learn any of that because I was never told I was unsafe, and no men have ever tried to do anything to me. I should consider myself lucky, but when people say if I'm not scared then I'm shutting my eyes, I wonder if something's just wrong with me. Wrong because I'm really stupid, or because I'm too repulsive or pitiable for even the worst men in the world.

I don't always think it's the worst case scenario, but I always think that it's a POSSIBILITY. You don't know what could happen.

I think as I explained it once to someone: "Yeah, 99 of the guys I meet might be perfectly fine, but all it would take is that 1 to completely fuck me up and fuck up my life, and I have no idea which one is which, so I have to assume every guy is that 1."

Pretty much yeah. A guy would hopefully not be a rapist but if they're acting creepy (intentionally or not) it would set off creeper-warning bells and I'd want him to fuck off stat. Err on the side of caution and all that.

Eta: Then every now and then you might have the experience that verges beyond creepy and kind of...refreshes those warnings and brings them all back to mind.

Edited 2014-03-02 04:45 (UTC)

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