[ SECRET POST #2617 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2617 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

As a note, social justice is not a fandom. Tumblr itself is not a fandom.

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #374.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I actually used to be mildly homophoic** years ago, when I was new to the Internet. Fangirls insisting that I *must love slash!* to be in fandom did not help at the time. I daresay that some of them may have kept me from evolving sooner. The fact of the matter is that I did evolve, but the fact that I dealt with "friends" that were "you must believe that the boys are screwing off-screen are canon!" types - one in particular - who ended up betraying me and attacking people I cared about online over the issue of "have your fun but I just don't think it's canon" really makes fandoms that look like they're *inundated* with slash-only types hard for me to join.

I actually do like some slash pairings fics and arts I've seen on occasion for some of my fandoms (though I'm not much of a shipper in general), but I , to this day, find a visceral urge to "run away!" from anything that looks too fangirlish.

(** Since I'm watching the Daily Show and it's pertinent, I thought I'd mention here that I used to live in Arizona and am now an east-coaster. Geography has a lot on culture and change in attitudes).

[(Anonymous)]

Fangirls insisting that I *must love slash!* to be in fandom did not help at the time. I daresay that some of them may have kept me from evolving sooner.

yup, its totes their fault that you were a bigot

fuck YOU

[(Anonymous)]

They cited it as a contributing thing, but you were looking for any reason to jump down this person's throat I imagine.

[(Anonymous)]

*Person above who just got told "fuck you" *

The person you are responding to didn't seem to see that the operative word in the quote they mined from me is "were" - "was." I *was* horrible and it wasn't anyone's fault that I was a bigot but my own and my choosing to listen to the wrong people (in real life). Optimally, being a spiritual-seeker should not lead a new convert into territory where they are told they have to practice forms of hate toward other humans in order to "love" them, but, sadly that is what happens sometimes in our complex world. Eventually, I realized what I was doing and how wrong it was - and also how little people "older and wiser" than me actually know if they've led insular lives and haven't seen much of the world.

So, no, it was no fault but my own and... yes, fuck me.

However, some of the behavior of my online fandom friends didn't exactly help me along when the still small voice of Justice was trying to reach me. An uncomfortable asexual being given pervy jokes about Friend A's favorite yaoi-pairing of the week during every AIM conversation all the damn time and being told she's a worthless, stupid being for not seeing it AS THE CANON DAMMIT when even the creators were a bit baffled by their fans, and having Friend A get the backing of her other friends and acquaintences didn't' exactly help my view of slash and it's "fangirls."

I guess, at the time (not excusing, just trying to figure out my old psychology), the rabid "yaoi fangirls" were confirming every misguidance the pastors at my church had at the time about the "All Gays are Perverts" trope and sexual fetishes. Again, I'd like to re-iterate that this was the past. In fact, this is one of the reasons why I haven't been to church in years (even though I know there are progressive congregations out there).

To be fair, because the secret was about slash in particular, I didn't mention the problems I had with rabid het fangirls in my old fandoms either. They could be just as bad (in fact, I'd say even more vicious) - in fact, I kind of blame the viciousness of a particular clique of het fanfic writers for the overreactions of some of my slash-friends. Whenever I see any fandom that looks to be saturated with "you must ship this ship/ ship that ship" my little gen-fan self gets scared (and hopes people won't read too into any fics or art I do that feature anything remotely shippy and try to convert me to hardcore). -- I really am actually scared of both "intensities" -- it just may be that "slash intensity" is a bit more commonplace due to how the Internet flips mainstream media and fandom is about "that which we do not get in the canon."

I cannot apologize enough for how I used to be, but I felt that this was an opportunity to be (anon) honest about how, at a critical time, I found fandom a bit of a hinderance to something I SHOULD HAVE "GOTTEN" ALREADY if I were not a stupid person and if I were a good person. I thought the OP might be going through a similar juncture and could use some support.

I'm not a good person, but I'll die eventually, and in the meantime, I'll try to gain in good, as least as fucked up as me can.

Don't let overly insistent "fangirls" hinder any evolution or questioning you're going through, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

Grow up. You're responding to a pretty nuanced and thoughtful look at how and why their attitudes evolved entirely too personally. Fangirls who shove slash onto every character *are* annoying.