fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2621 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2621 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Hard Candy]

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[Luther]

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13. [SPOILERS for Teen Wolf]

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14. [WARNING for incest]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #374.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

YOU ARE LADIES. THIS IS EASY MODE FOR YOU. DEMAND PICTURES, MEET IN PUBLIC PLACES.

WHY IS THIS HARD.

Because it doesn't actually work like that?

Bullshit. I refuse to believe you are in the one geographical area where the male/female ratio of folks looking online for sex is higher then 70/30 split (and it's probably more skewed then that). If you are looking for a guy, you can find a guy online. Now sure, there's standards and whatnot to think of, which is why I made a point to mention meeting someplace public (and to add tot hat, if he can't type in complete sentences, don't even give him that shot)

My life has apparently been very different than yours.

How often have you actually tried to use craigslist? Cause your life in bizzaro world is something I wanna hear about

NAYRT. That comic is indeed bizarro. I wish to read more.

An anon from the replies, not the original anon...

But I'm not pretty. I'm overweight. So I just don't think that a random stranger would want to have sex with me.

They really, really would. Try okcupid--if part of your weight is at least distributed to your boobs/butt, people want to have sex with you. /speaking from experience

Um. Okay, not to sound creepy here, but I'm a dude and that wouldn't put me off one bit. I prefer bigger gals. And I'm really, really, really, really not the only one. Not trying to sound like I'm hitting on you, anon; I don't know you. But believe me, if I wanted to hit on you, your weight wouldn't slow me down for a second.

That said, I respect that you have a hard time feeling attractive. I'm packing some spare padding myself, and I often have a very hard time feeling like women might be attracted to me, or like they're just humoring me out of pity when they say they are. So I know it can be tough, but you need to stop thinking that your low self-image is objectively true.

This anon hits on it a bit: I can see where you might not desire to find a guy who'd say "Yeah, I'd settle for that tonight"

But there is a guy out there who'd see your picture and say "Oh god I want to fuck that." and mean it. Doesn't matter your body type, your face. This is a thing. This is absoutely a thing.

Now, maybe that guy isn't somebody you'd want to fuck back. That's a more realistic problem.

But thread-branch starter, you seem to think any guy wanting you doesn't exist. And I promise you, he does and you can find him on the internet and he will be within travel distance.

Edited 2014-03-08 06:15 (UTC)

+1. I'm the same, and I'm a lady who digs other ladies, if that's of any use.

Anon, it's absolutely true that confidence is a matter of "fake it until you make it". Cheer up :3

Yeah seriously you have obviously not tried craigslist.

Post a picture of yourself with face obscured or something if you don't believe me.

Man, anon, I wish I could post a picture of my cousin and his wife here. But that would be creepy, so let me try to explain how they look:

My cousin is tall, thin, and blonde. Conventionally attractive. His wife, meanwhile, is short and overweight. And every single one of his long-term relationships before her was with...a short, overweight woman. If anyone's got a type, it's him, and his type is that.

There are men out there who are into what you've got. Trust me.

But I don't WANT a casual hookup from someone who just wants to have sex. Logically, I am aware that I'm conventionally attractive and a fetishized minority where I live, so no, it wouldn't be hard. But ideally I would like to have sex with someone who actually gives a shit about ME as a person, not just my vagina. And apparently that's too much to ask for, since I either get guys who aren't interested in me in any way, shape, or form, or guys who just want to hit it and quit it. And I just want an in-between. That's why it's hard. In the wrong ways, anyway.

I mean, it's not a huge deal for me. Obviously if it was, I'd figure out some safe way of hooking up and just "get it over with". But as someone who is insecure, at least for the very first time I get naked in front of someone, I'd like them to actually care about me. After that, we'll see, but for now, I'd rather do it with someone I trust and care about, who trusts and cares about me.

Ah. Yes, that can make it more difficult. And really, that bit is hard for just about everyone, regardless how they look (save for a small group of incredibly lucky people).

I won't lie to you and tell you that there's someone out there for everyone. What I will say is that, as hard as it is at first (I'm a very shy and anxious person, so I was very scared in the beginning), the best way to find someone like that is to put yourself out there. Find some clubs in your area. Meet people, and make an effort to get to know them, and make sure that they get the chance to know you. That's how I eventually found someone. I spent many years lamenting the fact that no one seemed to want me, but then I joined an organization, and after about a year I had not one but three different guys from said org who were genuinely interested in me.

You've got to be a position to give people the chance to get to know who you really are. That'll give you more options and more opportunities.

[ SECRET POST #2621 ]

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