[ SECRET POST #2623 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2623 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #375.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: waitaminute

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I'm saying that porn and explicit stuff online was an important part of my figuring out how adults played with their sexuality. Obviously, I also absorbed information from movies, books, living around actual adults who sometimes have the hots for one another, and a bunch of other sources. My hunch is that absorbing porny media was a lot safer than trying to sort out what kinds of moves were appropriate IRL, the first time someone hit on me, would have been. So I'm not sure what you're interpreting as unsafe about it.

Re: waitaminute

[(Anonymous)]

Oh god, the idea that you somehow learned what was appropriate IRL from porn is horrifying and hilarious. I'm glad that worked out for you, but it is most assuredly not a method I recommend.

The fact that you cant' see what's unsafe about it kind of amazes me, but then I wouldn't be surprised if this was a result of you learning about sex from porn that you can't see what's so inappropriate about it.

Re: waitaminute

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

That's not what I was saying at all. I learned a lot about the whole range of how people think about sex, including a lot of the horrifically wrong stuff that no sex ed class would touch with a twenty foot pole, online. And that was a good thing because whether you have any idea about porn or not, you're sharing a world where some people take the bad parts really seriously. Getting their references, being able to go "I recognize this vibe. Getting out of here right now," is part of sussing out who's unsafe in offline life.

And also, fandom has a lot of explicit material that's really affectionate and healthy. Mainstream, for-pay porn is a sad ghetto, compared to the richness of relationships that I found in fanfiction. (Which isn't to ignore the amount of pure *fiction* out there or the silly romance tropes. But some of it was a good point of reference.)

Fiction of any kind is not a decent substitute for paying attention to how actual adults' relatioships work, or to seeking out medical information about sex, STDs, contraception, etc. But I think all of this together gives you a much better sense of what's going on than just getting a little talk about bodies in high school. Or just looking at the adults around you, because sometimes their dynamics are not what you want to repeat in your own life.