fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2628 ]

[ SECRET POST #2628 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2628 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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06. [repeat]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

07. [SPOILERS for Sherlock]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

08. [SPOILERS for The Wayfarer Redemption series/Sinner]
[WARNING for rape/incest]

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09. [WARNING for suicide]

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10. [WARNING for suicide]

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11. [WARNING for rape/abuse/etc (unmarked by OP, but I'd assume it applies)]

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12. [WARNING for rape]

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13. [WARNING for eating disorders]

[Bleach]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #375.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah sorry, "specific subset of person" was supposed to indicate "people who aren't suicidally depressed"+"people who can embrace temporary distraction".

I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this being terrible advice.

If you say so, but then I do ask this: let's say secret OP tried to get counseling and none of the ones they have access to helped them at all. And there is no one in their life they can talk to, and their current life situation is the cause of their suicidal feelings in the first place. What would you suggest to them then?

Yeah, just packing up and winging it is a terrible thing to do...but if you are already on the verge of suicide with absolutely nothing else having helped and no where else to go, then really, at that point, what have you got to lose?

Your life. Dying of exposure or say, rationalizing that you are already off the grid and presumed dead, so why not just...

This is a horrifically bad piece of advice to a person when we don't even know the context of their suicidal thoughts.

Sure, if they are in a truly horrible environment, escape would be good. But what if they are in a loving supportive family but have clinical depression, or were perfectly normal until a truly horrible reaction to meds?

Not to mention if they are on meds they need, being homeless? Kinda crimps your style on getting more.

Stupid advice is stupid.

Stupid what ifs are stupid. It's good advice for certain people in certain situations.

It's acceptable advice, at best, for a very specific person in a very specific situation.

As blanket advice for a suicidally depressed person, it's wildly irresponsible hippie-dippy shite.

And if you find somebody in that very specific situation, fine. Otherwise, do shut your stupid yap before you ruin the life of a person who can't necessarily make good ideas right now.

Edited 2014-03-15 02:06 (UTC)

(reply from suspended user)

Your life. Dying of exposure or say, rationalizing that you are already off the grid and presumed dead, so why not just...

In that case I'm really not that much worse off, am I?

Well, you wouldn't have the internet, for one. Which seems to still be important to you because you are here seeing your secret all this time after you posted it.

That's not the reason I'm still around, though. Like I said upthread, I'd be just as much if not more of an inconvenience dead than alive. Once I find a way that won't leave a legal/financial mess to clean up or a body to get rid of, I'm done.

And I maintain your mental state is most definitely proof you should not be homeless and off the grid.

Also, no such thing as a messless death. perhaps time travel.

Ok, dude: sorry about the jokes. I tend to assume everything serious related to Frozen is a troll because it's fricking Frozen and it's everywhere now. I'm honestly sorry if I've hurt you.

That being said--you said you were worried about making people upset finding your body. Do you think running off and dying homeless would make them feel better? If anything, it might make them feel worse! They might assume something awful happened to you, or that you ran specifically from them.

The best way to solve this is to try to get better. Just try, whatever that means for you. And "better" isn't dead.

I'm not worried about them being upset finding my body as much as...annoyed that they have to get rid of it because of pesky public health regulations. They would only care about the legal/financial end of things. I've been told to my face more than once that I'd do everyone a favor if I didn't exist. So if I just up and disappeared one day, they'd probably go out drinking and celebrate. And then be annoyed at just how much of a pain in the ass it is to settle a dead person's affairs.

I guarantee people care more about you than you think, if only because you seem to think they view you as an object.

I've been told to my face more than once that I'd do everyone a favor if I didn't exist.

By everyone you know? And you think this is sincere, and not just said in anger?

Maybe not by everyone, but when it comes from the person who is responsible for me existing, it tends to carry more weight. If it's something just said in anger, then I must make them angry an awful lot (which is just more evidence everyone would be better off without me).

(reply from suspended user)

It's evidence that the person responsible for you existing is being really shitty to you right now. It might be evidence that they are frustrated with their own life and taking it out on you. It might be evidence that they're frustrated and angry with you. Some people are really shitty to their children, for a million different reasons. Some people get angry a lot, for as many reasons. I don't know their situation, and I don't know yours.

It is not evidence that you should die, or that it would be better in general for you to die. It's not even evidence that this person would actually be better off if that were the case -- because as other people have said, people say awful shit like that all the time without thinking.

It is not evidence that you would be better off without you.

I know that sounds probably stupid and glib. I know from experience that anything anyone says to try to make me live when I don't think I want to live sounds like bullshit. I'm saying it anyway, because it's also true.

Your life is important because it's yours. I don't know your situation, so I can't tell you what to do for your own sake. But you do not owe anyone else your nonexistence, ever.

Parents, even good parents, can be really fucking terrible at times and are not the end all in self worth.

Sure, if they are in a truly horrible environment, escape would be good.

Which was pretty much the only situation this advice would apply to.

As I mentioned, this is NOT a first choice or second or whatever. It's the last choice, for someone who is in that very kind of horrible situation and has no other option to them. This advice would, obviously, not apply to the vast majority of people feeling suicidal. But maybe there's a chance it does apply to the OP and it wasn't something they thought of before. There are SO MANY possibilities and acting as if "go seek counseling" or "talk to someone" are the only options possible is counterproductive because then the next idea might very well be "well, those didn't work, and those were the only possibilities I heard of, so obviously I'm just a lost cause".

There was a reason why I used the "band-aid on a bulletwound" analogy above. It's only saving grace and the only reason I or anyone would suggest is that it's better than 'caving in'/committing suicide, and OP might very well be at that stage. Or not - who knows. Most of the people on this thread are either random Internet people telling the secret OP to not kill themselves or they - like what I did - started linking to various hotlines and support sites for people in that position. That was my first response, and I stick by trying counseling and hotlines as a first response. I just don't see the sense in acting as if it's the only response.

"absolutely nothing else having helped and no where else to go"

we really don't KNOW this situation. it's a last resort and by itself could be lethal. jesus.

homelessness has a high mortality rate, and fuck, as someone who did a homeless girl a favour last week by buying her dinner and then as per her request, dropping her off at her rapist's house, i'm really really doubtful it's good advice unless you KNOW the person VERY WELL. and it's going to be safer for physically healthy adult men.

we really don't KNOW this situation. it's a last resort

Which is pretty much what I said? I mean, if I didn't say the exact words 'last resort', it's because for many people looking at this situation, the suicide itself would be the last resort. Just packing up and hightailing it out of their situation? Probably a bad idea. But that doesn't mean it absolutely is. Hell, there's a reason my own first, direct response to the OP was a bunch of hotline links to various hotlines and counseling centers around the world - absolutely, there are LOTS of options available.

What the anon thread OP was suggesting was a possibility if those simply don't work or are not available/helpful to the secret OP. One last shot they might try taking before suicide if they have nothing else going for them and have nothing else to lose at that point.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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