case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-03-16 04:20 pm

[ SECRET POST #2630 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2630 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #376.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-16 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I didn't feel a need to take either of their "sides" because I didn't think either of them was entirely right or wrong or wholly to blame for the situation. The whole thing was one giant clusterfuck that was deliberately engineered by a malicious third party to create exactly the effect that it did.

The fact that neither character was particularly well-equipped to handle it in a rational and justifiable way was exactly why it was such an effective act of revenge on the part of the guy who made it happen. Two emotionally mature adults, secure in themselves and each other, wouldn't have been vulnerable to that form of attack.
philstar22: (Default)

[personal profile] philstar22 2014-03-16 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not really sure what Anya did wrong. Xander dumped her at the alter. She was free. He had no claim. And she wasn't even sleeping with Spike to get back at Xander (which I wouldn't have a problem with as long as Spike knew that). She was just sleeping with him to feel something. Going back to being a vengeance demon was wrong, but up until that point she was completely blameless.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-16 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not really sure what Anya did wrong.

Apart from being a creepy ancient pedo like Spike or Angel, and who -like them- had spent centuries destroying lives for the weakest of whims. Yeah, she's blameless.

philstar22: (Default)

[personal profile] philstar22 2014-03-16 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Not that. I meant in the breakup. It isn't like Xander broke up with her for any of those things. And he not only broke up with her (which isn't wrong), but forced her to be the one to tell everyone the wedding was off because he just walked away. The breakup was all him.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-16 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, no. Anya's past had nothing to do with Xander breaking up with her in the worst way possible. In fact, her past didn't seem to matter all that much to Xander (as long as she didn't talk about it with him) judging by how he completely downplayed it with Buffy when Buffy wanted to kill her.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-16 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
You seem to have an axe to grind.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-17 12:12 am (UTC)(link)
If you don't grind it, how can you keep it sharp? Plus I glued pretty sparkles onto the handle, that counts for something right?

(Anonymous) 2014-03-17 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
On for fuck's sake, not this argument again.

Do you consider the Doctor a pedo for having Companions around, kissing/having relationships with Rose, Reinette, Martha, Jack, River, etc.,?

(Anonymous) 2014-03-17 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
A bit.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-17 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
Then we have nothing more to discuss because clearly your one of those extreme SJW types that one constantly beats a brick wall over trying to see sense.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-17 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
Another word for it - troll.

A mischief-making, bridge-living troll.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-17 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
"clearly your one of those extreme SJW types"

try harder
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2014-03-17 01:26 pm (UTC)(link)
tbf these age gaps just make some people uncomfortable, doesn't make them an SJW

(Anonymous) 2014-03-16 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
The vengeance demon bit was pretty bad, though. And sleeping with Spike wasn't so much wrong as not particularly wise or well-thought-out--rational, in other words. She didn't do that out of a desire to hurt Xander, though if she had given it more thought it might have occurred to her that it would do so. Xander didn't leave her at the alter out of a desire to hurt her, either, though he was painfully aware that it did.

I'm guess I'm just not big on assigning blame and condemnation. To me it's kind of academic whose fault it was when both parties are suffering and neither of them was acting out of...how to put it...inherent malice? That is to say, whatever angry or hurtful things they did arose out of feeling hurt themselves, not because they're bad people who don't care about anyone else.
philstar22: (Default)

[personal profile] philstar22 2014-03-16 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't blame Xander for breaking up with her. He should have let her know his uncertainty earlier, but ending it if he didn't really want to be married was the right thing to do. I do blame him for leaving her to deal with their guests, though. That was an asshat move. He's the one who ended it, he should have been an adult and taken care of it. And then he treats her horribly for moving on or at least trying to.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-16 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I do blame him for leaving her to deal with their guests, though.

THIS. You have misgivings about getting married? Then absolutely, do not get married. But to walk away and leave her there alone?! OMG, I was floored and enraged. And then he had the gall to come back and ask if they could just go back to the way it was before? No, I don't think so.
truxillogical: (Default)

[personal profile] truxillogical 2014-03-17 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
If it had been for 100% normal reasons, I would say yes, absolutely he should have been the one to deal with all the fall-out. But for the wedding thing, at least, he'd just been through hell, almost literally, shown every horrible thing he ever thought about himself. I don't blame him for not being in an emotional or mental state to be a rational, reasonable adult. It would have been nice if he had, and I felt horrible for Anya being left to deal with everyone, but for that much, at least, I can't be too mad at him.

For the Anya/Spike thing, I can understand his point of view (hey, the woman he loves, that he broke up with because he loved her and thought he'd hurt her worse if they were together, but he still loves, is boinking the being that he hates most in the known universe). But at the same time, no, he doesn't have a leg to stand on and he was an absolute dick munch about it.

I just think that actually is Xander's primary character flaw, his possessive streak. Sure doesn't mean I love him for it, because yeah, he can be a judgmental jerkoff about the ladies in his life having sex with people who aren't him.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-16 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
And sleeping with Spike wasn't so much wrong as not particularly wise or well-thought-out--rational, in other words.

I don't get this. They were in a private place (her shop after closing), and no one was ever meant to see or even know what had transpired. The look that they exchanged after meant that both of them knew exactly what it was (solace) and they were probably never going to speak of it or repeat it again.

The things that happened afterwards happened because their privacy was violated.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-17 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
Plus, she also wasn't aware that there was a camera in the Magic Shop filming her and Spike.