[ SECRET POST #2631 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2631 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 048 secrets from Secret Submission Post #376.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Religion

[mekkio]

Dude, with Jesus around. You never have to worry about being carded at the grocery store.

CLERK: Wow, that's a heck of a lot water bottles you got there, skippy.
YOU: It's for a party.
CLERK: Water for a party?
YOU: Won't be water for long!

I wonder if the wine Jesus converted was any good though.

PARTY GOES: (takes a sip and spits it out.) Oh, God. This wine tastes like piss!
JESUS: Oh my Dad, what you expect? I only had water to work with.

Re: Religion

[(Anonymous)]

I wonder if the wine Jesus converted was any good though.

Supposedly yes? (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+2%3A9-10&version=NIV)

Re: Religion

[(Anonymous)]

sa

Supposedly yes?

9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10 and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

Re: Religion

[(Anonymous)]

I think the point of the water-into-wine thing isn't so much "parties are way more fun with wine" but "water might be unsafe to drink" so if you run out of wine at a big event, drinking contaminated local water would literally ruin your party. Alcohol kills germs!

Re: Religion

[mekkio]

Jesus: Saving your soul and your digestive tract!

Re: Religion

[(Anonymous)]

Some arguments have been made (I'm not saying I personally agree with them, this is just what I've heard) that the reason great swathes of the books of Moses include what to drink/eat/wear was to protect the people from unsanitary conditions that the other nations around them didn't care about.

It was a bit of a headscratcher for me when I heard it first, but I can see where they might get that. Sort of?

Re: Religion

[mekkio]

Oh, I can completely see that. People were dying left and right from a lack of common sense in their food habits. So, laws were made on what to eat and how to prepare food and they became religious laws. (Because it's one thing to disobey the Chief. It's another thing to disobey God.)

Re: Religion

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Not just food, there are also extensive sections on how to deal with mould (translated as "leprosy" of clothing and walls) that were pretty advanced, given they were a Bronze(?? ISTR) Age society and all.

Re: Religion

[diet_poison]

Except the wine Jesus made was actually the best wine. (This is canon.)

Re: Religion

[mekkio]

Great, this thread is actually going to make me break out my Bible, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Re: Religion

[(Anonymous)]

*oops* I'm the anon who posted the relevant scripture above. I'm sorry?

Re: Religion

[mekkio]

I see it. Thank you for posting it.

Now I wonder if Jesus was ever invited to other weddings.

"Oh, you've got invite Jesus. I'm telling you he brings the best wine. Makes it himself. Totally DIY."

Re: Religion

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

ISTR the next wedding Jesus is supposed to attend will be on Dad's dime. :->

Re: Religion

[diet_poison]

oh, I read the thread but didn't see your comment! We must have all commented at roughly the same time. XD

Re: Religion

[(Anonymous)]

LOL