[ SECRET POST #2632 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2632 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Game of Thrones]


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03.
[Patrick Stump / Fall Out Boy]


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04.
[Men in Black, Agent Coulson]


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05.
[Twin Peaks]


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06.
[Defenders of Berk/How To Train Your Dragon 2]


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07.
[Lily Allen]


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08.
[Attack on Titan]


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09.
[The Brittas Empire]


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10.
[Panic! at the Disco]


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11.
[Frozen]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 037 secrets from Secret Submission Post #376.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Overly-dependent friend?

[(Anonymous)]

There's no guilt in cutting back (seriously, invisible mode) on your interactions. Letting yourself get exhausted and burned out isn't going to help you, or her, for that matter. A few ideas:

* Encourage her to get therapy. Emphasize that you're care about her a lot, but you're worried that she could use more help. If she protests, point out that she's relying heavily upon online friends, none of whom are trained professionals. It doesn't mean give up talking to them, it just means find someone who IS a trained professional who might help her untangle some of these problems.

* Limit the "let's talk about our problems" to 15 minutes, then the subject gets changed. Frame it as something that's good for the both of you, because (and this is a reminder for her as well!) you ALSO have problems that threaten to overwhelm you and studies have shown that interrupting negative trains of thought is very helpful. Far more helpful than rehashing the same depressing shit over and over again in the name of venting. So: 15 minutes of self-pity, but after that, NO MORE SAD TALK. You talk about something good that happened, something that makes you both smile. If she can't think of anything, offer encouragement and examples from your own life. If she still can't think of anything, point out that this can be something to bring to the next conversation-- she has to think about or do something positive, then report back.

* At some point, you're probably going to have to 'fess up. Stress how much you want to help, but explain that it IS very draining to be someone else's emotional support and that you need a break. Bring up the issue of therapy again. Tell her you want to be there for her, but that it's not physically possible for you to do that all the time. She's not a burden (depressed people and people determined to wallow in self-pity tend to think this way) but what she's dealing with needs more than just the two of you on AIM to get through and there's no shame in that.

Good luck!