fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2634 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2634 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Lady Gaga]

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[free!, attack on titan]

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(Panic! at the Disco)

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[Anarky]

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(Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

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[Frozen]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 013 secrets from Secret Submission Post #376.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mom fights suck, but your mom and my mom sound very, very different.

The "only wants to talk about their hobbies" thing sounds so much like my brother though. He'll start talking to me about shit I have zero interest in, and I respond politely for a while, but it's annoying because he often interrupts the stuff I'm doing to talk about stuff and then gets mad that I didn't drop everything for him. (He's gotten better about that lately, though.) Then recently we were spending some time together, and I tried to tell him about something I liked that pertained to one of our precious few mutual interests, and he shut me down. >:/

At any rate, I really, really hope things get better for you soon. Your parents do not sound like they're very supportive at all and I can't imagine how much that hurts. :( Here's hoping you can find others who can help fill that gap.

then gets mad that I didn't drop everything for him

Unfortunately I usually DO drop everything when my mom calls, usually to complain about something really dumb but every time I have a genuine problem and really need her, she's "too busy" and can't talk to me then. I hate how one-sided the relationship is. :/ I know she's awful at handling stress and she's really stressed right now so all I can hope is that it'll get better eventually but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Anyway thank you :)

You've probably head this before, anon, but it sounds like you really need to set some boundaries.

Good luck.

I definitely have heard that. And I've tried but it seems to cause even more problems so I always end up giving in because it's easier that way. I hate it though.

Anyway thanks again for listening (or reading, whatever)!

yeah, stop being a doormat and hang up the damn phone.

You really think having an argument with her helps her stress? It honestly doesn't. It just means your both more on edge.

When you need a break, take one. Phones can be turned off. Don't let her know if you singled her out particularly though.

"You really think having an argument with her helps her stress? It honestly doesn't."

Except I don't see where it says that it does?

Echoing what Noodles said. Your mom isn't entitled to make demands of your time. If the conversation gets toxic, end it. Say "I cannot keep having this conversation right now, it's toxic and causing me stress" and if she tries to manipulate/guilt you into staying on the phone, don't let her. You can always talk to her later if you want to. End the conversation if she crosses your boundaries.

And also hopefully you can find an emotional support network for yourself outside of your parents, consisting of multiple people you can rely on and who can rely on you, so it's not one-sided, and from whom you can take distance if you need. Then you can have a relationship with your mom only on your terms and hopefully it will become healthier in time if she realizes you are serious about boundaries.

it sounds like you really need to set some boundaries

Yeah, this.

You can't change your mother or her behaviour but you can change your own behaviour which will a) be good for you in the short term and b) maybe even change your mother's behaviour towards you in the long term.

Good luck!

[ SECRET POST #2634 ]

Re: Yet another fight with my mom...I feel so alone :(

Re: Yet another fight with my mom...I feel so alone :(

Re: Yet another fight with my mom...I feel so alone :(

Re: Yet another fight with my mom...I feel so alone :(

Re: Yet another fight with my mom...I feel so alone :(

Re: Yet another fight with my mom...I feel so alone :(

Re: Yet another fight with my mom...I feel so alone :(

Re: Yet another fight with my mom...I feel so alone :(