fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2636 ]

[ SECRET POST #2636 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2636 ⌋

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People with bad anxiety disorders often won't talk about it in reality, I am this way, I still don't talk about it on tumblr (too public) but I have used the internet to talk about my issues before because I'm horrible at verbalizing unless I'm having a complete meltdown (and then the tears and hyperventilating prevent it from all coming out.)

There's also a small amount of people who are so badly off that they aren't even capable of leaving the house, so again the internet is where they go to chat.

I don't know that you could always recognize an anxiety attack if you saw one, there are different levels of how bad it can be, and most people try to remove themselves from where ever they are when they have one.

Hmm, but I think the point is if all the people who claim to have it as badly as you are telling the truth, it'd be pretty easy to notice in RL.

As I said, some people aren't capable of leaving the house (so you wouldn't see it) and others remove themselves. You may notice that something is wrong, but you may not know exactly what it is, I'm not sure how people are describing anxiety attacks on tumblr but they aren't necessarily loud screaming fits (they might be for some people, but not all.)

Mental illness is... complicated. And I don't want to judge anyone when I don't know them or know their situation. Many people would think I'm fine, it doesn't change the fact that just last night I hate a severe panic attack followed by crying fits. No one saw this, because it was in the middle of the night in my apartment where I live alone, that doesn't change the fact that it happened.

Or you don't notice them IRL because they don't go out at all, they just stay holed-up with their computer.

The tumblr folk must go to school, at least, since many of them talk about it.

That probably explains half the anxiety right there, then. At least as far as university goes, between grades, "the job market sucks so bad I could use my degree to wipe my ass," and "oh fuck student loans," is it really any wonder people freak out? Not to mention the supposedly 'fun' side of college, like dating and a social life --someone who dropped out of college a decade ago because anxiety ate her alive, who would also prefer to forget that middle and high school ever happened.

nayrt

I have this sinking feeling that most state schools are indeed, filled to the brim, with people you can notice this behaviour IRL. But it has nothing to do with some imagined/medicalized "disorder" and everything to do with the kids not being parented properly. Or at all. I am a Gen Xer, but I have to say, the very reason why I didn't have kids, is because I knew I wouldn't be a good parent...and I spent most of my life, for as long as I can remember, raising my own Baby Boomer parents. I feel like I am atypical, in the sense that I learned how to be a good parent, by learning what not to do from my own...but a lot of people in my generation didn't have that insight, and instead were poorly parented themselves, and/or did not receive any advice or instruction on how to BE parents, themselves. Thus leading to the Millennials and their endless stream of behavioural. sociological, and psychological problems.

That's just my theory. /talking-out-my-hat

DA I'm probably somewhat close to your age, and I don't know if I agree. Yes there are certainly crappy parents and there have always been crappy parents, but I don't think parents investigating issues within their children makes them bad parents.

Some teenagers are just being teenagers, but some are showing signs of more serious issues. Maybe this is just my personal experience but I wish I had more investigation into my problems when I was young, then maybe I wouldn't be struggling to cope so much as an adult- where now I don't have the resources I did when I was young (like money and great health insurance coverage.)

Kids should absolutely still be disciplined but I don't know that mental health being more known about is a sign of bad parenting, I think it's part of moving forward with knowing about our own health. There will always be mistakes and step backs with this, but so many people still suffer from mental illness quietly and it's for those people that it's important we talk about things and not make them feel like they've just "imagined" it.

In any case I don't want to go back to the Baby Boomer way of doing things where they just deny the problem until it kills them.

AYRT

For reference: I am on the slightly younger side of 40. I do think my experience was atypical (that I was the responsible one in my family even when I was a child), but from what I have seen/dealt with for and from people my parents' age, I honestly don't think their immaturity and lack of just general life skills, is atypical of Baby Boomers, in fact it seems to be a hallmark of their generation.

(I should also add that I am a PWD, physical ones, and dealt with that growing up too...thankfully I live in a country with socialized healthcare. I recognize there is totally a pecking order/disability hierarchy, and yeah, I am unfairly biased in my opinions re: mental illness as a disability, because of that.)

I don't know a lot of people my own age (in fact I don't have any friends my own age right now), so that's why I said I was talking out my hat, WRT how the Millennials have been raised. I have seen a lot of Millennials with severe entitlement issues, though, and I dread what the world will become, once they get out in it. Unless the world laughs, thumbs its nose, and crushes them like bugs, which would be even more unfortunate.

TL:DR; Anon's observations on life in the 21st century....

Yeah, my attacks tend to take the form of extreme nausea choking me up and making me unable to talk without gagging, so I basically just get even more quiet than usual and start looking around for a bathroom, exit, or somewhere that I can at least be alone without fear of anyone trying to talk to me so I don't come off as rude for refusing to answer them. If I catch it early enough and need to escape I just tell people I'm feeling sick (not a lie) and need to go get some air/find a bathroom.

If most people could actually spot that as an anxiety attack, I'd be really surprised.

As would I, I don't know what people are hearing about anxiety attacks, but they present differently in every person and in most cases you wouldn't know unless someone just all out told you. Hell even people who are having one may not recognize it until they're properly diagnosed because they can look and feel like many other illnesses.

BTW I wish you the best with your anxiety and hope you are doing well. <3

Personally, when I'm having one it usually doesn't show in a way that would fit most people's mental image of anxiety- even when it literally feels like dying, I just kind of freeze up and go all Stepford Smiler until I can retreat to somewhere that's safe enough to fall apart.

Oh gosh, you too? I didn't realize until fairly recently that when a panic attack is in the early stages, I have this smile pasted on my face, presumably to try to fend off anyone asking me what's wrong... One day I went to the bathroom at work, freaking out and feeling sick, looked in the mirror over the sink while splashing water on my face, and saw a pleasant smile and was like "wtf?" I wonder how long I've been doing that...

Which is really ironic because normally I'm one of those people to whom well-meaning old people frequently say "You should smile more!"

Yep. And I talk about it on the Internet marginally more than I do in RL, because when would I even bring it up? No one IRL wants to hear about my special snowflake problems. If it happens when I'm around people, I just freeze-grin and get out of there as soon as possible.

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