[ SECRET POST #2637 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2637 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #377.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

TB

[silvereriena]

I'm legitimately curious about something. Is it possible to become desensitized about people with problems? Sort of like how if you watch a lot of violent, gory TV you will become desensitized to the violence eventually. If you are surrounded by people with depression for example, do you slowly cease to have an emotional reaction to it? Is that what you think has happened to you, OP?

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but I would submit that this is indeed the case.

People have finite emotional resources (some are blessed with a more generous supply than others, of course.) Paying attention and extending sympathy requires an expenditure of personal energy, and if folks are under a constant barrage of pings for it--which, on the Internet and particularly on sites like Tumblr, they most definitely are--eventually their capacity to sympathize and empathize will be exhausted.

Choosing to prioritize and withhold sympathy from all but the most extreme cases may be the only way some people can avoid shutting down entirely and refusing to care about anyone at all (which we also do see happen unfortunately often on the internet.)

[(Anonymous)]

+1

If you're constantly surrounded by something you're going to both get used to it [and that'll take away some of the empathy about whatever it is] and it's really going to start draining your resources from the constant demands on your energy that will burn you out if you don't start managing it on some level.

Tumblr is particularly bad about it from what I've seen.

Re: TB

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP but this is exactly what has happened to me. There are so many people with depression in my fandoms that I just don't even care about it anymore. Another part of it for me is that I'm in fandom to talk about the characters and stories and to read and write fic, but a lot of people in my fandoms who are depressed mostly just talk about that.

Re: TB

[(Anonymous)]

Same here. These days it seems like everyone on the internet has some kind of problem and I just don't have the time or emotional resources to deal with everyone else's issues on top of my own.

Although I find I have a lot more empathy for people who are actively doing things to help themselves as opposed to the people who just wallow in it and try to drag others down with them. I'm much more likely to lend an ear to someone I know has been working hard on their issues if they're having a bad day than someone who is just a constant fountain of negativity with no attempts to change anything.

Re: TB

[(Anonymous)]

We all have our limits, so I believe what you're saying is definitely true.

But I don't think the proper reaction to that is to take it out on the people suffering (which is what I'm seeing happening a lot) but in fact to set boundaries both for yourself and other people. Scroll past depression posts of people you don't know, and if it's someone you do know then make sure you're clear about not being their therapist. Don't ever let yourself get to that point where you just don't care.

Since I've had a lot of issues since a young age I never wanted people to feel as badly as I have, but as I grew older I really started to understand that boundaries are important because you have to take care of yourself before you can really help other people. It's made it a lot easier to be sympathetic to people's problems.

Re: TB

[silvereriena]

That all makes sense. I guess it's pretty much a matter of balancing between being there to support people but remembering that it's not your job to fix all of their problems.