[ SECRET POST #2641 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2641 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #377.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[eaten_by_bears]

Whatevs. No shipwars means no one gives me shit when I say Magnus is the most sexless thing this side of a Rock Lord, and no one should be shipped with him ever.

[(Anonymous)]

Exfuckingscuse you?

Magnus is Hot as Fuck and he is bending Rodimus over the Lost Light's desk like five times a day. Just because he's Prim doesn't mean he's Sexless.

[eaten_by_bears]

Hot as Fuck? More like Hot as a Brick. Even the Matrix doesn't want him. Bro looks like he was hammered together out of two by fours.

[(Anonymous)]

The Matrix is a drunk ho about choosing successors. That doesn't count for shit. And what the hell did Whiny mcEmomus Prime do with the fucking matrix? He kept trying to give it away in G1 because Lol How I Responsibility and in IDW he uses it as a fucking status symbol to reinforce the "Old Ways" the whole goddamned civil war was trying to undo and Divine Right.

Magnus is a beautiful, aching soul just trying to do what's right in a world that makes no sense and he's dying inside trying to keep everyone else alive and he just had so much love for Optimus and then Roddy got him fucking killed. Good job, Matrix. Great pick.

[eaten_by_bears]

All right, let me rephrase. Magnus isn't completely unattractive to everyone. He's just completely unattractive to everyone who doesn't have a weird shoulder fetish that also makes them spout bullshit like an eighth-grader's notebook.

[(Anonymous)]

He's unattractive to people with the reading comprehension of a second grader because they can't see that he's a layered individual like a - heaven forbid! - real person.

Can't have REAL PEOPLE in fiction! What will be next? Women? GOD SAVE US ALL

[eaten_by_bears]

Yeah, yeah. Way to try to make me a misogynist in this. How about I ship Magnus with Elita-1? Then he can join her offscreen where we never fucking see her and leave more space for the actually fuckable robots.

[(Anonymous)]

Please they were fucking when they were still Dion and Ariel in a threesome with Orion. But oh God can't have women leaders on screen it might turn into some show about girl power and we can't have that!

[eaten_by_bears]

He's not even Dion!!

Oh my god, you're making the 'eat your vegetables' argument with a character that's not even a woman. If I have to get off on two bricks knocking into each other to be a good feminist, sign me up for the Republican party.

[(Anonymous)]

I was talking about shipping him with Elita-1

There goes that lack of reading comprehension again. Are you sure you're old enough to be on the internet?

[eaten_by_bears]

I don't care who or what you ship him with, as long as I don't have to look at it. Keep him away from my slinky, sexy orange phoenix, and we're golden.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

what is even happening in the thread, I thought first anon was being facetious and now it's like a hoedown-throwdown and mom dad why are you fighting stop fighting

[(Anonymous)]

Uh, wait up a sec. It's possible I'm missing the joke/sarcasm, but: you don't actually tell people they shouldn't ship him with anyone just because you don't care for him, do you? I can see the sexless thing, but trying to stop other people from shipping a character you don't like would be kinda shitty.

[eaten_by_bears]

No, no. I actually like Magnus a lot. Just trying to give OP a little satisfaction.

[eaten_by_bears]

Now I think of it, if I'd wanted to be more sincere I could've gone with Silverbolt and Blackarachnia from Beastwars.

SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR YOU, YOU CONDESCENDING BIRDDOG!

[(Anonymous)]

OMG, I've missed this side of this fandom, you beautiful phoenix yourself.

[(Anonymous)]

Silverbolt is, admittedly, kind of a huge butthole.