fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2643 ]

[ SECRET POST #2643 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2643 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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This is one of those need for help how to get help i know I over think everything it is a problem i can't communicate well anything i say or do will be used either for or against me but it is all in my mind as i to how i talk and think and act and i guess i don't guess i know i'm supposed to see a therapist but if if the person you went to you didn't like because they tended to start talking before you ended a sentence well is that seen as one of your faults and you need to correct that because it's a sign of wanting to state how everything should be said towards or is it all your fault for everything and really how is this all going to work when a relative that has driven on the road for four hours is coming to visit and we've all now had this chat about things are wrong and you know they are wrong and what is supposed to be your next step when your reaction to want to withdraw is seen as wrong and not allowed but really this all happened an hour ago and you know you need to get food but now it's going to be food with family and you'd rather not and now you'll be judged for it all and you're going to get a headache and in your head you wonder how this is all going to work but everything you think is judged and seen as wrong and oh god help

ymmv but what I got from this is (after reading it three times), your shrink sucks, your family sounds overbearing, and you need to stop focusing on the small details ... which may be what you need help with in the first place ...

Uh, you could first try stating your ideas and issues in a more understandable way. This applies in general. If this is how you're talking to people, that's half your problem right there.

that's half your problem right there
Oh shut up, seriously.

*SJW detected*

*person who blames literally everything on SJWs detected*

(You keep reaching for that connection, anon.)

You sound like you could use some time to yourself to calm down and collect yourself. Withdrawing can be a problem when it's how you respond to every problem and you never take action, but there are times when it's perfectly healthy.

I can relate to feeling like everything I say and do is going to be judged and twisted and used against me. I was in a really bad place for a while because of that but I'm doing better now. I'm no kind of expert but you should know that it is possible to break free of these thoughts.

Part of what helped me was thinking about why it would be so bad for people to judge me. What is the worst that would happen? I judge people sometimes because that's just what people do. They move on with their lives and I can too. Think about when you judge people. Do you ruin that person's life? Or do you decide that it's really none of your concern and start thinking about something else? Other people do that too.

I don't think I can help anyone else get to where I am now, but I've made peace with the fact that people will think what they like about me and for the most part it doesn't really affect me. Even if they say something about whatever negative things they're thinking about me, it's just one conversation. It will get drowned out by all the other things that happen that hour, day, week, month. They'll forget, even if my neurotic mind doesn't.

Of course the stakes are a bit higher with family and friends but the principle that most of these incidents are bigger in your mind than anyone else's still holds. Part of it is trusting that these people care about you. They probably don't want to think the worst of you and they will probably be understanding of anything that your mind thinks they will use against you.

As for therapists, it is fine to let them know when they're doing something that bothers you. I have had several talks with therapists about things they were doing that made me uncomfortable and they were just happy I was honest with them. Having a therapist that interrupts you sounds really annoying and I think you're perfectly justified to say "could you please let me finish what I'm saying before you jump in?" And if you think you just won't click with your current therapist then you can try to find someone else.

I hope you feel more calm and relaxed later. Like I said, this all sounds very familiar to me and it's not a good place to be. Hugs. <3

Jeez OP, could you have made this any harder to read? I know you may be really panicky right now, but that doesn't excuse asking for help in a way that makes it very hard to read and understand what exactly your problem is.

So from what I can tell, maybe you should tell your therapist about how he's acting, and if he continues to act that way maybe you should seek out a different therapist. Also, how does this connect to having a relative over, did something bad happen with you and the relative and that's why your seeing a therapist and why you are not eating dinner? And I have no idea what is with your other family members: So they know something is wrong with this relative but they are still acting like nothing happened and will judge you for having a reaction to this bad thing? I really don't get that part.

Panicking does actually excuse asking for help in a way that's hard for other people to understand. IRL or online.

Whether people want to take the effort to understand a stranger on the internet is up to them.

NAYRT

Except that this style of posting is an affectation: look at how agitated I am, I can't even punctuate.

1st anon who replied

Eh, maybe. I gave OP the benefit of the doubt. I think your agitator above (they struck upthread as well) is just trying for SJW brownie points. Without, I note, actually offering a solution to OP, which all of us have at least tried to.

SJWs = all vitriol, no actual activism. When the rubber meets the road, they are a blight on the Internet.

1. Use periods.

2. Therapy is a give and take process; you have to commit to it. You can't just expect to go and be cured, you actually have to do work.

3. If this is the way you normally communicate then I would suspect you're schizophrenic.

4. I actually suspect you're trolling.

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