fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2643 ]

[ SECRET POST #2643 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2643 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 075 secrets from Secret Submission Post #378.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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(reply from suspended user)

no one wants to talk about it because it's hard to admit when it benefits you.

It's because we've made "privilege" a bad word. It makes me sad.

It really isn't, either. It's just a social status that pretty much most people are born into and don't have any control over.

(reply from suspended user)

I want to go back in time and keep the concept of privilege from being turned into a bludgeon, and instead used as a neutral label for particular life experiences. Just think of the shit we could get done that way.

DA

Now that would be a productive use for the TARDIS! Let's have Four take his scarf and muffle the idjit what thunk it up, shall we?

People called me uneducated and stupid in one of my secrets just because my grammar wasn't good. I'm still not sure which parts were where I failed the "educated" mark but I have a Masters, I'm not uneducated, I just struggle with writing because I want to a subpar school and didn't learn about essays until my second year at uni. I've worked really hard at getting better but I'm never going to be perfect because I missed all the younger learning stages and have to try as an adult.

It just hurt my feelings a bit that out of my whole secret all the comments were about how I must be uneducated and immature because of how I typed...

I hope I never made such comments, but if I did, I'm so sorry. There was a time it probably would've been me, and I'm not proud of it.

I think people need to stop making those assumptions, and they also need to consider the fact that they probably wouldn't make fun of someone to their face, so why online?

I really don't like that that happened to you. This is why I never get on anyone's ass about how well they do or don't write (if they don't get on anyone else's ass about it, that is) so long as I can understand them. They don't need to have a "good excuse", like English being their second language or having a learning disability (wow, now when I think about how often people even ask complete strangers about that like they deserve an explanation for imperfect grammar and spelling, it's pretty absurd).

Yeah, when people say "your an idiot" to people for expressing opinions on the internet, I get on them because they kind of deserve to be taken off their pedestal and have that pointed out to them.

I think part of the problem is that in some fandom circles, the only people who don't write well - and who even use a lot of CAPS LOCK and netspeak - are very young members who never seem to last and trolls. I used to belong to circles like that, so when I came across people who did those things, that's how I responded to them. Of course, I was going through my own stress and feelings of inadequacy at the time, which I'm sure was unrelated. I wish I could apologize for being such a snooty twat to innocent people who hadn't actually done anything wrong.

Fair enough, if someone's gonna be nasty, then their writing is fair game, but I hate seeing it directed at people who are not doing anything worse than forgetting to punctuate. It's definitely one of the more prevalent forms of classism I see online.

AYRT

Yes, exactly. Leave people alone. They made a mistake.

(god forbid) Christmas and birthday "hauls"

Aaaaaa. I don't mind it if someone wants to be happy about something they just got - whether it's a BJD or a new computer or whatever, if it's really significant and important to them yaaay someone is happy - but the holiday/birthday HAULS and "look at this massive list of stuff other people gave me that I am casually listing here" makes me cringe so hard. Especially if they complain that they're only "meh" about half the stuff or COMPARE IT WITH OTHER YEARS then deem it to not be as good or something SHSJKJKSTJKFJKfhfjhfjjf

(reply from suspended user)

It seemed like mostly lack of awareness of self to me. The people I used to see doing it probably wouldn't have done it if they'd known what it looked like to other people (like they're showing off or comparing or something) but just... had no idea.

...and would probably get offended if you told them what it looked like

Can't it be all of the above? It's exciting to get new stuff, and people often compare and talk about what they got for birthdays/Christmas. It's a bit juvenile, but I can't see the problem.

And I get nothing *exciting) for Christmas. Not because I'm poor, or don't celebrate just because my parents believe in giving us razors, toothbrushes and "necessities" so we can use our extra money to buy things we like, and my siblings are college students who can't afford to buy presents. It's no big deal. I still kind of enjoy reading other people's hauls, though.

(reply from suspended user)

Re: Classism in fandom

(Anonymous) - 2014-03-30 00:14 (UTC) - Expand

Coming from someone definitely not rich, I sometimes do tell what I got for Christmas or my birthday, but that is also the only two occasions I usually ever get stuff.

I don't get the feeling of entitlement and such when people make a thread or a personal blog post about what they got for Christmas/their birthday as long as it isn't to complain about the stuff they got. Because I do so too (well not make threads), I just want to share my joy for the stuff I got and in turn be happy about what other people got.

I do understand where you are coming from and I know how bad it is to listen to people talk about the things they get to do because they have more money and they don't even appreciate it. Complaining about things that are given to you is something I don't understand at all.

What hits me most is:
In Norway we all have a confirmation at 15 either in church or through the agnostic/atheist foundation and we get money and such from our family because we are now "adults". The amount of people complaining because they only got 4000-6000$ and such is awful to hear. Because I am pretty sure my mother almost bankrupted herself to give me the 500$ or so she gave me. Same with the rest of my family members, they all gave more than what they should have and I didn't even get close to the amount people actually complain about, even if my family is a lot larger than most.

I am not as poor as some people and I do live in a place where people in general have more money than most of the world so I don't think Christmas hit us as hard, but I do remember celebrating Christmas with a church group as a child because my mother couldn't afford to make Christmas for us at home. But I have always been lucky with getting pretty good gifts, because my family does somehow always manage to pull the money together.

~~sorry this got a bit away from me... I don't even remember what my original point was~~

The problem with the "haul" posts is usually they invite people to share what they got as well. Uhhh like "I got [LIST OF ITEMS]! Not all the stuff I wanted and I won't use half of it but oh well! WHAT'D YOU GUYS GET [CAUSE WE ALL HAVE LISTS, RIGHT]?" which leaves all the people who didn't get anything to eye that post awkwardly and scroll past.

It's not really about entitlement, it's just kinda like - wearing a mink coat to class in college, or something. Sure it's warm! Sure, it's nice and you love it! You're probably not trying to put anyone down and you might not even be trying to show off. But you do make a certain impression and you should be aware of the impression you are making, if you do that.

I get your point, and yeah, the disparities in perspective make me cringe at times. I got so excited over getting a whole $250 for Christmas, but I also know that for many of the people at my school, if I said as much, they would be confused as to why I was so happy about getting 'only' that much. >.<

Perhaps even more ~~depressingly~~ hilariously, during a high school government class in which a teacher was discussing the perks of living in the White House if you're the President. At one point, he mentioned servants, and most of us - either actually middle/lower class or at least strongly identifying with it more than upper class - started descending into sarcastic slave jokes, except for this one kid who looked really fucking confused and who was also the only kid in the class whose family had a maid. He didn't seem to get that most of the kids in the class were more likely to know or be related to maids than actually have maids, and thus a lot of his humor about his home life went right over people's heads or was honestly offensive or just not funny. -_-

My high school was a...very diverse one, class-wise.

"Haul" posts are embarrassing. Enthusiastic posts about one or two things can be really sweet. But oh god, I never want to see another haul list again.

When they compare it to other years, all I can think of is Dudley Dursley at the start of Philosopher's Stone.

OMG I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE

BJDs?

(reply from suspended user)

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