[ SECRET POST #2643 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2643 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 075 secrets from Secret Submission Post #378.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Does it make me sexist against my own gender...

[ariakas]

We're not talking about whether or not their feelings are "legit". We're talking about whether or not they would be "sexist". That's was the OP's original question.

And yes, yes it would be sexist. In my comment below I point out that I've only ever had bad male bosses. Were I to take from that a dread of male bosses, that would be sexist. Were I to take from by bad experience with the mugger a dread of Natives that would be racist. The OP's reaction is sexist. Whether you think it's "legit" or "valid" is a completely different discussion.

(I had a similarly bad experience with female classmates and avoided girls for a few years as a child because of bad feelings. But those feelings were sexist, and stupid. I got over them. Hopefully OP will too.)

Re: Does it make me sexist against my own gender...

[jaybie_jarrett]

I suppose. Maybe I didn't articulate it well but I just feel like the anon I replied to made a good point. That if you have a bad experience it can be understandable to be wary of something else like it. That you can KNOW logically that the response is irrational but personal experience makes you unsure or afraid.

I'm sorry for my mis-communication and bad wording.

Re: Does it make me sexist against my own gender...

[ariakas]

That if you have a bad experience it can be understandable to be wary of something else like it.

I get that, I'm just trying to illustrate that that can lead to a bigoted (if not dangerous) point of view. That exactly the kind of rationale people use to handwave bigotry in real life all the time "well I've met a bunch of blacks who were (bad thing)", "all the Chinese I've ever known were (bad thing)", etc.

Don't be the young, sexist equivalent of my racist grandparents, OP. Use your rational mind, and moreover, realize that if you really do keep having the same experiences, the common denominator is ultimately you.

Re: Does it make me sexist against my own gender...

[(Anonymous)]

I just hate the "not all [insert group here] are bad" thing-- not because it isn't true, because it is, but because it's so prevalent to mock/deride men for saying the same thing when women are wary of strange men.

What's the difference between a woman being cautious around men due to a fear of being assaulted, and using your example, someone being cautious around black people if honestly the only experience they've had is negative? The rational answer is still there-- "not all men are bad"/"not all blacks are bad", and that's true. But one of those is dismissed as bullshit and the other is obvious. So why the differentiation?

Re: Does it make me sexist against my own gender...

[ariakas]

Maybe this makes me a bad feminist, but I don't think that there ought to be a difference. Sure, men hold more power in society, but "some men were bad to me and now I dread all men" is just as much bullshit as "some blacks were bad to me and now I dread all blacks", frankly.

There seriously are women in my profession who loathe the men in it because of bad experiences and no, this is in no way, shape, or form more justified than the OP in prejudging all female bosses. I've had the same argument with them.

Re: Does it make me sexist against my own gender...

[(Anonymous)]

"What's the difference between a woman being cautious around men due to a fear of being assaulted, and using your example, someone being cautious around black people if honestly the only experience they've had is negative?"

Because men are evil priviledged oppressors and black people are an oppressed minority. Colour of skin trumps gender as well - it's why to a lot of people (especially of the dumblr variety) saying "I'm wary of men because men" is perfectly acceptable and met with support but saying "I'm wary of black men" is evil and racists. (But only if you are a white girl. Or something.)