fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2658 ]

[ SECRET POST #2658 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2658 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #380.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 2 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Bonus points if it's NOT one of the usual suspects (My Immortal, Thirty Hs, Celebrian, et cetera).

So the skull fucking one is out?

That horrible Glee worm one that someone here posted about a long time ago.

Also, there was one for...something, I can't remember what (I read it like 15 years ago, when I very first got into fandom) where this dude cuts the dude he's having sex with with a knife, and then stabs him to death, cuts him up, eats part of him, and then keeps part of one of his bones on a necklace, and when one of his coworkers later asks what it is, he said he got it on a trip to Africa or something.

I am pretty sure Chard was responsible for the Glee worm one.

I came here to say that one. Worst thing about it was that it wasn't badly written so you just couldn't stop reading even if you felt parts of your soul dying...

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

riddian - 2014-04-14 05:33 (UTC) - Expand

What's the Glee worm one?

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-14 00:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-14 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

oh gog why did you have to remind me of that whyyyyyy D:

That fucking fic. Definitely the weirdest one I can think of off the top of my head. And one of the most horrifying.

There's a couple weird old stories on adultfanfiction that I used to be kind of obsessed with (posted them here once long ago). One was called Fartie Party with Hillary Duff (or something like that) and it was about Hillary Duff farting on people, and then someone comes up with a plan to fart on her (Hillary), but she outwits her and farts on her. and I'm pretty sure it was a joke because it was written in a really absurd way, but unfortunately it has apparently disappeared from the Internet.

The other was this massive long fic multi-fandom fic (mostly Buffy) called Gehanna that was all about lesbian prison sex in an alternate dimension prison and it's incredibly long (like, novel-length) and it is just written in the most ridiculous, over-the-top way humanly possible to the point of absurdity, but I'm pretty sure it's not a joke. That one still is on the Internet if you want to track it down.

Also, that one Harry Potter fic that's like 100 chapters and completely destroys the canon and has Harry, Luna, and Hermione all getting married and turning into fairies and creating magical fortresses for their war against Dumbledore or something, and I remember there was some big blowup about it being racist against Muslims at the end? Half Kissed Hero I think? That was pretty amusingly insane.

One of my fandoms has a rather infamous fic where a guy has sex with his refrigerator.

...how does that even work? Or do I want to know?

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-14 00:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-14 05:13 (UTC) - Expand

I read a SPN Dean/Cas AU where Castiel is Dean's favorite brand of cereal, and Sam says if Dean loves it so much he should marry it. Which he does. The end. I don't remember the title, it's somewhere of ff.net.

I'm not going to name the fandom because it would be too telling, but basically the characters both get the stomach flu and are violently sick but they decide they want to have sex anyway, often while vomiting.

Ewwww. For some reason I'm thinking that's gotta be Sherlock, though I have no idea why.

nooooooooooooooooo

why. why would someone write that.

GOD DAMN YOU. GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

I read My Immortal before it was cool to read My Immortal. :\

There's always the infamous "Dobby stretches" story, although I'm pretty sure that was taking the piss to begin with. And the Sue fic with Lupin's temporary uterus. That one might be my favorite weird badfic.

I forgot about Dobby Stretches...

Thirty H's maybe, but for one that's less known: maybe this one.

I mean I think I have read some weirder ones, but this one really, really stands out. The fic and spork are hilarious, and it's absolutely bizarre.

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-14 16:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

diet_poison - 2014-04-14 17:20 (UTC) - Expand

Allow me to introduce you to your new nightmares: http://wtfponyfanfiction.tumblr.com/

I actually edited this one: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/78425/sugarcube-corner (My edit swaps for this author were how I got into pony fic in the first place.)

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

diet_poison - 2014-04-14 17:38 (UTC) - Expand

That Sherlock parody fic series that was posted here awhile ago, mocking how heterosexual Holmes and Watson were. It was so weird and yet had me in stitches.

In Inception, a fic where Eames was a whirlwind and Arthur was a volcano. When Arthur ejaculated lava into Eames' mouth, he was okay because he had a tornado in his throat to protect him. Despite how absolutely bizarre it was, it wasn't a comedy, but a well-written drama fic. That fandom was...unique, for me.

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-14 01:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

darkmanifest - 2014-04-14 01:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What's the weirdest fic you've ever read?

diet_poison - 2014-04-14 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

Bee movie where he crawls into her womb nd impregnates her child

Not really the weirdest fic I've read, but it's my favorite crack pairing of all time and I just really love it. It's Muldoon/Clever Girl from Jurassic Park. This fic is called 'Living Dangerous' and it's fab (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1096153). It has a sexy sequel.

One of the ones that disturbed me the most was where Ash, Haunter, Ghastly and Gengar had some weird sex thing with each other and the pokemon called Ash's dick "boyhood." Because he's 10. *shudder*

I've mentioned it before I think but there was one where Vegeta was a sex slave and Frieza had some device that controlled his dick and then Jeice and Zarbon were both in love with Vegeta I think and were competing via expensive fruit baskets. I might be confusing more than one fic. They were in the DBZ smut yahoo group that popped up after FFN took down the NC-17.

Re: noncon tw I think? slave fic.

mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com - 2014-04-14 06:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: noncon tw I think? slave fic.

caecilia - 2014-04-14 11:22 (UTC) - Expand

For pure weird, One Night of the Drop of Rain, which is nominally Hetalia fanfic. The current theory is that the author intentionally babelfished it, because it's too gibberishy for any other explanation. (The opening sentence is "It was one night dark and a cold very.")

There was a couple of really gorey ones back in my DBZ days (2002?), one from a DBZ mailing list I was on about Goku being body-swapped with an ugly fat lady that really annoyed not so much for the plot but because the mailing list regulars worshiped the writer for being an Old Lady Fan (I think she was in her 50s or 60s) but she was a totally shit writer,one really crazy fic in LotR about Galadriel punishing Elrond and Legolas by dosing Legolas with a potion that makes him pregnant (aside from anything else, I hated how much of a smug bitch it cast Galadriel), there was a HP necrophilia one where Harry dug up James Potter's corpse, the memorably hilarious Sephiroth/Cactuar pairing, a TF fic where Jazz and Mirage (I think?) temporarily get transferred into the bodies of a couple of leopard slugs and end up having slug-sex.

The fic where Garfield has sex with Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

The Thomas the Tank Engine graphic smut fic (he does it with a lady engine! totally not pervy!)

The one where Harry Potter did it with the ghost of his dead father (may I forget I ever read that please).

Uh... I think there was a Snape/Miss Piggy fic. Which was awesome.

Batman/Robocop by ComixNix is one of my favourites. Robocop forgets to pack his Robopenis and has to get something out of the garbage!

But I love My Immortal. Mentioning it anyway. :(

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