fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2659 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2659 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Anything you can think of that is in the kink community but without the sex.

I'm asexual. I like kink. I don't have sex, I do not get aroused, but I have participated in many a kinky adventure. I've been involved in kink clubs where there have been other people participating in kink for reasons other than sexual. There are a lot of 'scenes' that don't have anything to do with sex.

I'm not saying it's popular, I know it's pretty fucking rare, but it does in fact exist.

That's not kink. That's roleplaying or what the fuck ever but it's not kink.

If someone ties you up and whips you and you enjoy the experience and do it intentionally, whether or not your enjoyment is sexual, yes, it's kink. Plenty of people in the kink community experience kink that way. At most play parties I've ever been to, sure, people get aroused, but plenty of people don't, and sex is often not allowed.

Exactly. A lot of kinks don't even involve having sex. Doesn't make the kink suddenly non-sexual.

... but that's exactly what this sub-thread is about. Kinks are inherently sexual. They can't be "platonic".

But it's really not kink. Kink is inherently an expression of sexuality, full stop. An activity, even if it's one very commonly associated with sexual expression, is not a kink when done completely divorced from some component of that purpose.

And it sounds like you're saying that "having sex" is required for something to be sexual, when it's not. Those people getting aroused, even if not having sex, are expressing themselves sexually and experiencing some level of sexual gratification from the activities they are engaging in. THAT is what makes it kink. Without the arousal (or expectation of or hope for arousal) as the underlying purpose in doing it, it's just...an activity.

I'm not really feeling the whole "lol getting whipped for fun is just roleplaying hdu" comments, but wouldn't non-sexual masochism fall more accurately under the general umbrella of "BDSM" or "D/s" instead of "kink"?

Wouldn't those just as easily be classified as "non-typical things you do for fun"? If your aim isn't to get aroused, why is it important that you use a word associated with arousal?

Because if it's not at least somehow connected to sex then how can they claim sexuality-based oppression?

This.

Okay, now I'm just really genuinely confused. I thought that the definition of a kink (in fandon context) was something from which one derives sexual pleasure. If it's not sexual, then what is the definition of "kink" that you are using?

They're making up their own definition of kink.

Which is fine. But they shouldn't be surprised when no one else agrees.

Just because you're not aroused and you don't have sex at the end doesn't mean a kinky practice suddenly isn't sexual. There are loads of kinks in which no sex is involved.

I'm not saying you're not asexual and you haven't done these things, because I totally believe that's possible. But just because you're asexual, the kink doesn't become so.

A kink is sexual. You do not have to have sex while doing them, but you have to be sexually aroused by them for it to be a kink. You may enjoy doing these things, but unless you are getting aroused by them, it is not a kink of yours. It is just something you enjoy. For whatever non-sexual reason.

I think that would be less of a kink and more of a shtick.

[ SECRET POST #2659 ]

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