fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2663 ]

[ SECRET POST #2663 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2663 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Stardust]

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03. [posted twice]

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04.

[Elementary]

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05.

[El Goonish Shive]

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06.

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07. http://i62.tinypic.com/29cxt2a.jpg
[Hadaka Shitsuji, censored porn]

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08. http://i.imgur.com/XGwxaCR.jpg
[cosplay; no sex but definitely nsfw]

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09.

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10.

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11.

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12. [ns]

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14.

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15.

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16.

[Art by: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Lets-Sing-Together-338248375]

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17. [SPOILERS for Soul Eater]

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18. [SPOILERS for captain america: the winter soldier]
[WARNING for rape]

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19. [WARNING for suicide]

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20. [WARNING for incest, possible non-con]

Notes:

Late at work again, sorry. Should be back to normal by next week!

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #380.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was someone who already semi-knew me IRL. They used that to take out whatever it was they were feeling on me, and used a fic I wrote as an excuse. They threatened and harassed me and members of my family.

I was vague because I didn't really want to talk about that aspect of it. But in hindsight, you can't post something like this without being at least a little more specific. So there it is.

I've had a similar experience and it's horrible, please don't listen to all the "grow a thicker skin" replies. But don't stop writing, just keep your writing to yourself until you're safe -- it's harder to come back to it when you're out of practice, plus it feels awful to go without writing. Good luck.

Uh, yeah they do need to listen to the grow a thicker skin. Even if in that situation they are justified in not doing so (what she/he just mentioned), what's to say they let some asshole troll win and they lost inspiration for something else? In that case, I feel no sympathy and they do need to learn to ignore shit like that.

ayrt

I'm trying to figure out how to respond to this. I can kind of get what you're saying.

But at the same time, this wasn't just a troll. This was someone in my life who did real, tangible harm -- and not only to me, but to people whose only crime was being related to me. And I hate the idea that "oh well you're just letting them win." Is it letting the "other" win to take means to shield oneself as a result of a toxic experience?

Intellectually, I know that I shouldn't have stopped doing something that was meaningful to me. But I've associated it with a very bad time in my life for a while, and that complicates things. On the plus side, I feel like I'm reaching a place where I can start writing again, and that's part of why I decided to make this secret. I wanted to get it out so that I could let it go.

I no longer feel bad for you about the Soap Dish Debacle.

*snerk*

+1 *dies laughing*

*rolls eyes* Like I give a fuck? Honestly.

I fought my own asshole troll with everything I had for years, and just got knocked down over and over again. There comes a point where your own mental health and/or physical safety has to take priority over "winning" by not giving up. And the whole time I had people telling me the "right" way to handle the situation and then feeling justified in scolding and judging me for not taking everyone's conflicting advice, which was not helpful at all. You don't know until you've lived it. Some trolls are just randoms being mean on the Internet, and they'll go look for softer prey if you "grow a thicker skin" but others are genuine abusers and a thicker skin only makes them bite harder.

Ugh....do you have ANY capacity for caring about people other than yourself? Like honestly I can't believe you.

"I feel no sympathy and they do need to learn to ignore shit like that."

This is fucking low.

A straight fat white MLP obsessed girl, do you expect anything more?

AYRT

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-19 02:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-19 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-19 03:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

otakugal15 - 2014-04-19 19:46 (UTC) - Expand

I don't think 'grow a thicker skin' applies at all when a person in real life threatens your family. That's not just internet crap, and it's not just fic-bashing, that's actual potential meatspace harm coming to somebody's family. It's not about not having your feelings hurt (although it is valid to have feelings, and to have them hurt if someone you know rips into something you worked on and put yourself into). It's about worrying about your family's safety because someone who knows you out in the real world has gone off the deep end on you and you can't be sure they won't do something to hurt the people you care about.

Apparently reading comprehension is bad in this thread. I said IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS where she is justified. I said in future situations (i inferred this with the "what's to say later" type thing), she needs to grow a thicker skin.

Jesus fucking christ. F!S is at it again, jumping on everything and not READING.

Edited 2014-04-19 19:52 (UTC)

Man, you are such a jackass. Somebody threatens and harasses them and their family in real life, and your response is "Yeah but if it were a different situation they should still take my shitty advice! If you ever let trolls affect your feelings then you're a loser!!"

Having empathy for what OP went through is clearly way beyond you, but even something like a simple "Sorry, I misread the situation" doesn't even seem to have occurred to you. Wow.

How does that make her a jackass?
OP gave a very vague description, and otakugal replied that if it isn't anything serious just grow a thicker skin and get over it. OP then clarified it was something serious, and she then didn't retract her statements to the vague description, because they were still appropriate to that vague description.
If someone tells me they burned their hand and I advise them to hold the wound under lukewarm water, that's appropriate advice. If they then clarify they burned their hand so bad that it's become an open bleeding wound that deserved immediate medical attention, that doesn't mean holding it under water isn't still good advice for a minor burn, that will not change.

prepare for tl;dr

riddian - 2014-04-20 21:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: prepare for tl;dr

(Anonymous) - 2014-04-21 09:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: prepare for tl;dr

riddian - 2014-04-21 10:54 (UTC) - Expand

ayrt

I'm sorry that you had a similar experience. I hope that things are better for you now.

I get what you mean, and appreciate it. Part of the reason I decided to make this secret is because I'm getting to the point where I feel like I ought to start back up, and this was kind of like...a cleansing, I guess. Toss it out in the world, burn off the sore. We'll see what happens.

That fucking sucks, OP. I hope you're doing okay.

ayrt

Thank you. I'm okay on most fronts at this point except for the writing, but I hope I can start doing that again. Part of the reason I made this secret was to sort of cleanse myself of it.

I hope you can start writing again, too! You don't have to share what you write right away, but writing even for yourself is something I really believe in. There's a lot of healing power in any creative endeavor, and being able to harness that is something I feel would help you. And I hope that some day you do share your writing again.

If there is a RL safety issue with someone who knows you in the real world and might stalk you looking for more, using it as an excuse to further dangerous behaviour, then I suggest taking up a new pen name. I've had to do that before, to get away from someone toxic in my life, and it wasn't easy. I had to start from scratch in some fandoms and I had to abandon others entirely because they were 'our' fandoms and I felt sick about them, but it felt good to write and to be in those spaces, and to eventually stop looking over my shoulder.

Anyway, I just really hope you get to have the fun that fandom/writing can bring, and the creative outlet, without worrying about this person.

Christ, that person sounds like a real piece of work. I'm sorry that happened to you OP.

I'm sorry you had to go through that and I'm glad to see you referring to it in the past tense.

I also lost my ability to write for a while and I've finally started writing again quite recently. There is a way back, and I hope you'll find it.

The thing to understand is that that had nothing to do with your ability to write. You could have been doing crotchet and they'd still would have used it as an excuse.

And to remember that they didn't win. They just made you upset, which, when someone's threatening you and loved ones, isn't that hard to do. Giving yourself some time away from fanfic isn't letting them win; you just need time to heal. Eventually you'll get the will to write back, I promise, just be patient and don't beat yourself over not wanting to write for now; that'll just make it worse.

D-X

Who on earth does things like that? I'm so sorry, OP. :(

I'm really sorry to hear that. :~(

As long as you try to do what's best for you and your family that person can never "win", OP, no matter what others are saying. If you think not writing for a while is going to make you feel better then do that, if you think writing will help then write. You don't have to post anything, or do anything you don't want to.

Of course, the trick is often to figure out what you want and if it's good for you, so... can't help you with that one, I'm afraid. *hugs*

This is why internet anonymity is important and why it is crucial never to mix your real identity with your fandom alias. Ever. Sometimes -when your RL is affected, for instance- it is important to be able to leave and start again elsewhere instead of being a sitting duck for some unreasonable troll.

It's not a matter of 'winning', because life is not a game: it's a matter of self-preservation. You don't need to torch everything behind you, just leave, no need to flounce on your way out or get the last word, just jettison your call sign and move on to a different fandom under a different alias.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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