fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2663 ]

[ SECRET POST #2663 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2663 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Stardust]

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03. [posted twice]

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04.

[Elementary]

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05.

[El Goonish Shive]

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06.

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07. http://i62.tinypic.com/29cxt2a.jpg
[Hadaka Shitsuji, censored porn]

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08. http://i.imgur.com/XGwxaCR.jpg
[cosplay; no sex but definitely nsfw]

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09.

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10.

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11.

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12. [ns]

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13.

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14.

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15.

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16.

[Art by: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Lets-Sing-Together-338248375]

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17. [SPOILERS for Soul Eater]

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18. [SPOILERS for captain america: the winter soldier]
[WARNING for rape]

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19. [WARNING for suicide]

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20. [WARNING for incest, possible non-con]

Notes:

Late at work again, sorry. Should be back to normal by next week!

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #380.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've had a similar experience and it's horrible, please don't listen to all the "grow a thicker skin" replies. But don't stop writing, just keep your writing to yourself until you're safe -- it's harder to come back to it when you're out of practice, plus it feels awful to go without writing. Good luck.

Uh, yeah they do need to listen to the grow a thicker skin. Even if in that situation they are justified in not doing so (what she/he just mentioned), what's to say they let some asshole troll win and they lost inspiration for something else? In that case, I feel no sympathy and they do need to learn to ignore shit like that.

ayrt

I'm trying to figure out how to respond to this. I can kind of get what you're saying.

But at the same time, this wasn't just a troll. This was someone in my life who did real, tangible harm -- and not only to me, but to people whose only crime was being related to me. And I hate the idea that "oh well you're just letting them win." Is it letting the "other" win to take means to shield oneself as a result of a toxic experience?

Intellectually, I know that I shouldn't have stopped doing something that was meaningful to me. But I've associated it with a very bad time in my life for a while, and that complicates things. On the plus side, I feel like I'm reaching a place where I can start writing again, and that's part of why I decided to make this secret. I wanted to get it out so that I could let it go.

I no longer feel bad for you about the Soap Dish Debacle.

*snerk*

+1 *dies laughing*

*rolls eyes* Like I give a fuck? Honestly.

I fought my own asshole troll with everything I had for years, and just got knocked down over and over again. There comes a point where your own mental health and/or physical safety has to take priority over "winning" by not giving up. And the whole time I had people telling me the "right" way to handle the situation and then feeling justified in scolding and judging me for not taking everyone's conflicting advice, which was not helpful at all. You don't know until you've lived it. Some trolls are just randoms being mean on the Internet, and they'll go look for softer prey if you "grow a thicker skin" but others are genuine abusers and a thicker skin only makes them bite harder.

Ugh....do you have ANY capacity for caring about people other than yourself? Like honestly I can't believe you.

"I feel no sympathy and they do need to learn to ignore shit like that."

This is fucking low.

A straight fat white MLP obsessed girl, do you expect anything more?

I don't see what her weight ,race or orientation has to do with this tbh. I'm straight white and somewhat pudgy myself.

I find its better to judge people on their actual behavior, words and attitudes. otakugal's are crappy but not because of her appearance or attraction to either (or both) genders.

Man, you're an asshole.

but they aren't wrong

Hmmm, I haven't be obsessed with MLP since the bronies and SJWs wouldn't shut up about racism.

I don't think 'grow a thicker skin' applies at all when a person in real life threatens your family. That's not just internet crap, and it's not just fic-bashing, that's actual potential meatspace harm coming to somebody's family. It's not about not having your feelings hurt (although it is valid to have feelings, and to have them hurt if someone you know rips into something you worked on and put yourself into). It's about worrying about your family's safety because someone who knows you out in the real world has gone off the deep end on you and you can't be sure they won't do something to hurt the people you care about.

Apparently reading comprehension is bad in this thread. I said IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS where she is justified. I said in future situations (i inferred this with the "what's to say later" type thing), she needs to grow a thicker skin.

Jesus fucking christ. F!S is at it again, jumping on everything and not READING.

Edited 2014-04-19 19:52 (UTC)

Man, you are such a jackass. Somebody threatens and harasses them and their family in real life, and your response is "Yeah but if it were a different situation they should still take my shitty advice! If you ever let trolls affect your feelings then you're a loser!!"

Having empathy for what OP went through is clearly way beyond you, but even something like a simple "Sorry, I misread the situation" doesn't even seem to have occurred to you. Wow.

How does that make her a jackass?
OP gave a very vague description, and otakugal replied that if it isn't anything serious just grow a thicker skin and get over it. OP then clarified it was something serious, and she then didn't retract her statements to the vague description, because they were still appropriate to that vague description.
If someone tells me they burned their hand and I advise them to hold the wound under lukewarm water, that's appropriate advice. If they then clarify they burned their hand so bad that it's become an open bleeding wound that deserved immediate medical attention, that doesn't mean holding it under water isn't still good advice for a minor burn, that will not change.

How does it NOT make her a jackass? I laid it out some in my earlier comment, but maybe a more complete explanation will make more sense.

First of all, she did not say “if it isn't anything serious.” There was no conditional in there at all. She simply told the OP to just get a thicker skin and stop letting one person “get to them.” Given what the situation turned out to be, that's downright cruel.

But it's rude and bad advice even at the best of times, because it puts responsibility on the victim of trolling to not react to shitty things being done to them, instead of on the troll for actually doing the shitty things. “Try not to let trolls get to you” is a valid sentiment, but this attitude that someone has to not care about trolls or else they “win,” or that there are only certain situations in which somebody is “justified” in having their feelings or inspiration affected because of trolling, is victim-blaming bullshit.

It is okay to feel bad when someone trolls you. It is okay to get frustrated because somebody is doing something nasty to you. I was interested that Otakugal mentioned that secret from the other day, because it is absolutely okay to take down your own fanfiction because somebody has said something mean behind your back and you no longer feel comfortable having it up—or for any other reason you feel like, because it's your fic and you can do what the hell you want with it. Especially since, in both secrets, we were not given any information on just how serious the reason was.

Also, to get to what my previous comment was about: I really did not like that, when the situation was explained further, Otakugal barely mentioned that her advice did not apply to this particular situation—let alone apologize for saying something that turned out to be extremely mean—before going on to explain that she's still TOTALLY right because of other, completely hypothetical situations. It smacks of not only a complete lack of sympathy and caring about OP and what they went through, but also a need to always be right. That's understandable, we all want to be right all the time, but it's rude as hell to put in practice and especially inappropriate given what happened in this thread.

I will grant you that I probably would not have responded to that comment if it had been made by anyone else. Plenty of people had called her out on it already, after all. But something about Otakugal gets under my skin a little more than most other people. She seems to have a talent for it.

While I agree with your general sentiment, I don't think you can speak of victim blaming when there is no victim. And there is no victim in trolling, it isn't a real attack, and if it gets to you that's entirely your own problem. It isn't meant to hurt people, it's only meant to rile people up and laugh at their overreaction.
Trolling isn't comparable to actually be harassed or threatened like OP, and I rather think it undermines the real issue if we act like it is.

Wow, no. No no no. Not all trolling falls into the category of "poke someone with a stick and giggle when they get mad." Even that kind is still mean, and it still has a perpetrator and a victim, even if it isn't a huge deal. And there is much worse out there, much that IS meant to truly hurt people.

Maybe the really bad kind falls into a different mental category than "trolling" for you, and that's fine I guess, but the idea that it's not a real attack because it's on the internet is so stupid. It may not be as bad as getting physically threatened, but that doesn't make it fine and dandy.

ayrt

I'm sorry that you had a similar experience. I hope that things are better for you now.

I get what you mean, and appreciate it. Part of the reason I decided to make this secret is because I'm getting to the point where I feel like I ought to start back up, and this was kind of like...a cleansing, I guess. Toss it out in the world, burn off the sore. We'll see what happens.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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AYRT

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prepare for tl;dr

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