[ SECRET POST #2666 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2666 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #381.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[darkmanifest]

Eh. Whenever people say something like "your sexuality is not your identity", I feel like that's shorthand for "any mention of the sexual aspect of your overall identity makes me uncomfortable when it's not cis heterosexual, so please stop talking about it at all so I'm not reminded that I'm not as tolerant as I like to think I am". Because I almost never see anybody say the same thing about cis heterosexual identity being shoved down our throats, despite the fact that it saturates every aspect of our culture, media, and daily discussion way more than any other sexuality does.

People talk too much about sex in general, sure, whatever. But the shit that non-heterosexuals get for so much as a peep about the same topic heteros won't shut up about is kinda conspicuous.

[making_excuses]

Well I don't subscribe to the using your sexuality as a prominent part of your identity mindset, it is a part for sure, but it shouldn't define you. Be it straight, gay or anything in between. I'm not stopping anyone from doing so, it isn't my place: free world and all.

But I much prefer my future children to tell me that they are bringing home a gf/bf and his/her name is and if it turns out my kids aren't straight I would rather they did it that way than coming out of the closet in a serious discussion. I will not celebrate the fact that I have a gay kid any more than I would if my children are straight. It is not something that should be celebrated, because it is something completely normal and ordinary and should be treated as such not as something special.

I think I lost it for a moment, I have no idea where I was going with this and I should probably just go to sleep... I hope I didn't manage to insult you or anything, because that wasn't my intention at all, I just enjoy discussing these topics.

[darkmanifest]

Well, yeah, that's the ultimate goal that everyone can agree on, for us to stop regarding minority sexualities as exceptional at all. But we haven't actually achieved that in any capacity, so right now people expressing minority sexualities can still run into a lot of social and legal trouble just for doing the exact same thing heterosexual people without having to worry about being judged (less so straight women than straight men, of course, but both of them more so than non-straight people).

We do not live in a world where straight people are the only ones who don't care about sexuality while those darn non-straight people keep making a fuss, and any implication that we do - which I'm saying is the implication behind "sexuality is not identity" only coming up in conversations about non-straight people - is distressing

[making_excuses]

I know, it isn't as close to me living in a bubble up in scandinavia where for the most part we are all pretty damn equal. But I don't ever mean that one shouldn't fight for the basic rights every damn person are entitled to.

I probably didn't make it clear enough, I don't think it is okay for straight people to define themselves by their label either. I don't think I have ever met anyone straight doing that, but 1. I don't know the whole world, 2. somehow I barely know any straight people.

I just don't like labels defining you, they are a part of you, but a person is more than one defining trait.

[(Anonymous)]

No, you're wrong. Flat out. If I can be killed because other people consider my sexuality the be-all, end-all of my existence, then yes, yes, I can claim it. I will define myself as non-cishet if I want to because the rest of the world sure as shit is.

A child coming out of the closet isn't doing it for you to 'celebrate their queerness' wtf are you even trying to say here, seriously. If that's what you think coming out is about, then wow but do you ever sound straight.

[making_excuses]

I'll tell that to my girlfriend...

Didn't tell you, you can't claim it, didn't say anything such at all I said it shouldn't be a defining characteristic in a person, not for straight people or gay people or anything in between.

I am seriously scared about my writing skills your your reading comprehension. I wasn't talking about random children, but my future maybe children, growing up with a bisexual mother and probably a second mother, they would know whatever sexuality they end up having does not matter... I also said I will not celebrate any kind of sexuality because it is completely normal, it is not something that should need celebration and I would have been pretty damn offended if anyone celebrated me when I came out of the closet...

Sounding straight is such an idiotic thing to tell people...

[(Anonymous)]

ntayrt but pretty sure it's your writing

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT - "Sounding straight is such an idiotic thing to tell people... "

Agreed. It's a very reductionist argument, and it's playing to stereotypes. "You sound like [insert type of person]." Really rubs me the wrong way.

And whenever they're wrong, of course they insist you must be lying.

[sarillia]

Thank you

[(Anonymous)]

Or they could be around a lot of people who think their sexuality and their identity are the same thing. You don't have to be hetero to get sick of that, especially if the people doing it change their behaviors just to fit stereotypes. Like young women who think they have to start acting like men just because they're attracted to other women. It's offensive as fuck.

[darkmanifest]

That last wankbait line makes me want to ignore you, but nonetheless: Like I said, they only seem to express a problem with sexuality and identity being the same thing when the sexuality isn't straight. Loving to bang women, and reminded us all how much he loves it on a daily basis, seems to be a very important part of some cis straight men's identity, buuut...most accept that as normal and healthy.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know about everyone else, but I find those guys really annoying and more than a little weird.

[darkmanifest]

So long as you tell those guys you find them annoying and weird as much as you tell non-straight people you find them chattering about their sexuality annoying and weird, or tell neither of them and just avoid them equally, I'm right there with you. It's when there's a sharp disparity that I start wondering.

[(Anonymous)]

Avoid. Avoid avoid avoid.

I find anyone who spends time daily chattering about their sexuality annoying. I end up thinking, Yeah, we've heard it every day for weeks. Please stop before you get all TMI and ruin my lunch, okay?

But I know what you mean. Being bothered by one flavor of sexuality chatter and not another type is revealing.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I don't know anyone who accepts someone constantly talking about sex or sexuality as normal and healthy.

My previous comment was meant in reply to your sweeping generalization in your orignal comment: Whenever people say something like "your sexuality is not your identity", I feel like that's shorthand for "any mention of the sexual aspect of your overall identity makes me uncomfortable when it's not cis heterosexual, so please stop talking about it at all so I'm not reminded that I'm not as tolerant as I like to think I am".
I can't tell you how to feel but I can tell you that this is neither what I've witnessed nor my intent when I cringe because someone is stupid and shallow enough to identify themselves solely based on their sexual orientation. Sexuality and identity are two separate things; sexuality is part of a person's identity, not the whole. However you feel about that fact is irrelevant and people will probably continue to express frustration with people who can't make the distinction regardless of what you decide their hidden motivations might be.

And I didn't mean it as wankbait; I am incredibly offended when people transform to fit a stereotype based on sexual orientation. I don't how NOT to be offended by that. The end result is a caricature and it often fuels homophobia because homophobic people tend to be too narrow minded in the first place for it not to fuel their stupid, baseless assumptions.

[darkmanifest]

I don't know anyone who accepts someone constantly talking about sex or sexuality as normal and healthy.

Huh. That's different from my experience in wanting people to just shut up about it sometimes (particularly straight people); especially in fandom, which consistently loses its crackers over all over some dude's dick and where he may or may not put it.

Like I said to someone above, if you cringe and express frustration to people regardless of what sexuality they talk too much about, you're not the one I'm critical of. It's just I've noticed a persistent trend where when people start going on about hearing too much about someone's sexuality as part of their identity, it's rarely, if ever, straight people they're talking to or about. Particularly in this secret.

(Once or twice I've seen asexual people do it, though - they tend to be equally exasperated with all sexual folk.)

As for fueling homophobia, it's up to homophobes to stop making stupid, baseless assumptions, not for LGBT to stop being working through their sexuality in any way that doesn't actually impede on anyone else's life or rights.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Yes, because it's not as if the LGBT communities have a reputation for being a bit more open to exploring different gender roles.

[(Anonymous)]

You feel. Yep. Thanks for being honest, then you spoiled it as "hetros won't shut up". We are individuals, but FSM forbid that we are not all lumped in with the same group and all given the same motivation.

[darkmanifest]

Some heteros won't shut up about. And some gays, and some bisexuals, and so on, too. But, like I said, it's not oversharing straight people who most often get taken the task for this, I feel.