fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2667 ]

[ SECRET POST #2667 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2667 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 041 secrets from Secret Submission Post #381.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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04. http://i.imgur.com/Wi9rl5b.jpg

Or Kelly Armstrong. My favorite sex line will always be, "...and then I felt something that wasn't his finger."

I once had a person in my life tell me that "they liked to pretend their finger was a penis"

Haha. Well, this scene happened when the main character was making something to eat for her werewolf lover, and he's feeling her up down there, and it's just an awkward transition.

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(Anonymous) - 2014-04-22 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2014-04-22 23:22 (UTC) - Expand

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a_potato - 2014-04-22 23:40 (UTC) - Expand

I don't remember that at all. Was it Elena, because she was my least favorite of her characters.

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(Anonymous) - 2014-04-23 00:05 (UTC) - Expand

I've actually seen worse. I read some sci-fi novel where a VR simulation of Jack the Ripper escapes into the real world. The last time the MC sees his girlfriend before she gets horribly murdered, they have toe sex in the bathtub, and his toe feels "a liquid wetter than the water."

(If anyone remembers this book, please tell me the name. I remember it was really good at parody--an off-Broadway play called What Dogs Don't Smell, an action series where copyright enforcement officials violently lay down the law, a feminist anti-war poem that begins "My cunt is the festering vagina of Poland ten times raped," etc.)

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diet_poison - 2014-04-23 00:35 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2014-04-23 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

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diet_poison - 2014-04-23 14:19 (UTC) - Expand

What was it???

I liked the series when it first started, but when it became all sex all the time I had to quit it.

Dude, that's when I STARTED.

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(Anonymous) - 2014-04-22 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2014-04-22 23:19 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2014-04-24 03:44 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2014-04-22 23:46 (UTC) - Expand

The first few books are all plot and have no sex at all. Then sadly, they do become trainwrecks. And yet I still read the damn things. At least I get them from the library now instead of wasting money.

This. I keep reading in the vain hope that one day LKH will remember that Anita has an actual job....

Incidentally, for folks who liked the first few Anita books, Kalayna Price's Grave Witch series might be of interest.

The only Anita Blake book that I read through to the end was Obsidian Butterfly, and I remember it primarily as Edward having alarming notions that he might actually be human and wondering if that was possible or not, while also killing an awful lot of people/things out of a remote and confused mix of terrifying emotion and soulless practicality.

I'm fairly sure I must have either skipped or mentally redacted quite a lot of sex scenes to come away with this impression. I did, however, really, really enjoy the impression I came away with. So, at least one of her books it's possible to enjoy while mentally editing out the sex?

Or it could just be Edward. I like sociopathic killers with loving sides that are actually more alarming than their professional ones.

congratulations, anon

you lucked out and magically picked the best one

It's a definite anomaly, it has way less sex than the rest of the later ones bc it's as much Edward's story as Anita's, and he's the only dude ever who's allowed to not be into her.

(caveat: I stopped reading after cerulean sins when she spent too much of the book having sex so the bad guys got away)

but yeah like people have said the first 5 or so are pretty plot heavy, then it starts going downhill

That was my favorite one as well, because Edward was my favorite character. I remember being increasingly horrified as I browsed through them. Her Fae ones are worse. D: Although, it was the series that taught me the phrase "menage a trois". Fun times.

Wait what's wrong with middle age lady porn? Are middle age women not allowed to like porn or be horny? I'm confused. Explain. Use small words.

Not the OP - there's nothing wrong with middle aged ladies liking porn. I'm heading into middle age and I like porn, and I get frequently horny. But in this case, I think OP is referencing the middle aged horny woman who wrote the porn in question, because it's bad, bad, laughably bad porn. I don't think she/he was talking about middle aged ladies in general.

I've had this reaction when people call 50 Shades of Grey 'mommy porn'. I'm a mommy, and I've both read and written porn stories and stories above the crap that passes for edgy sex in those books - and in the Anita Blake books too.

... But the first eight books have a lot of plot and not too much sex (though there's some). It is very plausible that someone likes the early books and not the later ones because of the sex.

Yes, this. Obsidian Butterfly was really the last good one, imo. I could be wrong, but I think she got remarried after writing OB (I know she got remarried but am hazy on the when) and she didn't seem to have much patience for plot afterward.

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killaurey - 2014-04-23 01:45 (UTC) - Expand

As a horny, middle-aged lady, I'm offended.

It was easy at the beginning.
The first book I read was one of the first ones and it was in my high school library. There was lots of talking how attractive Richard and his hair was and some sexual tension with Jean-Claude but mainly Anita solving the crime.

Flash forward several years and I saw one of the newer ones in my public library and thought it would be another fun read. The entire book was about her being a succubus-thing and she needed sex approximately constantly. The book was three hundred or so pages of sooo many orgies.

If someone claims to read her books but skip the sexing, then they're basically NOT reading the books because her 'plots' are all sex, all the time, with a short intermission to change locations.

"horny middle aged lady porn"

It's funny to see kids who are so young they still don't really believe they'll age. I hope you remember your current attitude when you're middle aged yourself and feel ashamed and embarrassed at how stupid you were.

I'm sorry to tell you this, OP, but your assumption is wrong. :~D

I'd go into more detail about why I love those books, but a) I don't think anyone's interested and b) I've probably said it all before anyway.

(If you actually want to know, though, by all means comment.)

Dude, if you love her books but skip the sex scenes, you can read them in like half an hour each. They're realllllly porny.

I read...a few. Stopped when I realized the characters I liked best (Ted and...shoot, can't remember his name. The cop, but not the suave, put-together one. The dorky, kinda sloppy one) probably weren't going to get to do something interesting because she wasn't going to sleep with them. I mean, Ted had an interesting book, but...yeah, I couldn't care less about the rest of the cast, barely even about those two, and...yeah, the sex scenes were uncomfortable and skippable..

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