[ SECRET POST #2667 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2667 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 041 secrets from Secret Submission Post #381.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know if it's too late for anyone to still be around to read this, but I need to get it off my chest.

I love playing video games, I love playing games in general, but I've realized as of late that when I lose at a game, I can't lose graciously. And it's not like I flip a table or cuss my opponent out or stomp off and pout...I just get really, really depressed.

I've been playing Hearthstone lately, and I can do really well some nights, and absolutely fucking terrible others. Sometimes I can handle the loss. But sometimes, I just quit the game and fight back tears because all I can hear in my head is "I don't deserve to win anyway. I don't deserve nice things. I don't deserve to do well. I'm always destined to lose."

I'm not a bad person. I try to make sure everyone around me is as happy as I can conceivably make them. I have a husband who I love and I know he loves me too. And we play games together sometimes...and guess what happens when I lose. And I'm terrible at hiding my emotions with him, so he feels bad for winning...and then pulls punches in the next game which makes me feel worse. "I don't deserve to be treated like everyone else. Everyone else has to have a handicap so I can even remotely succeed. I'll never be good enough without someone taking pity."

I would talk to my husband about this, but I have tried in the past and he tells me to just quit playing. The thing is, I love the games and I love playing them, I'm just tired of feeling like the person on the other end is laughing their heads off at what a shitty player I am every time I lose.

I don't know what to do. Right now, though, I'm going to go to bed and cry myself to sleep quietly so my husband doesn't feel bad.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe you should stop playing against live people for awhile? It sounds like a big part of your issue is worrying about what the other player is thinking. Or maybe try out co-op, where it's you and team members versus the AI instead of you versus other people. I know I definitely don't like playing versus on any game for reasons a little similar to yours, I hate feeling like people are judging me when I just want to have fun.

Also the viciousness of the voice telling you how much you suck sounds like a little therapy wouldn't hurt, either.

I hope you feel better, anon.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

[ariakas]

I'd suggest looking into your issues, if you really love games. Because that sounds like issues. The "voices in your head" I mean. Everyone loses at things sometimes, no matter how good they are.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

[(Anonymous)]

On the off-chance you come back and read this...

Are you able to handle failures or mistakes in other areas of your life? Do you only get this way with games? If so, then really try and think about what it is that makes the two different. How do you handle other failures? Take your strategies from that aspect of your life and work on applying them to games, as well.

If you react similarly to all failures/mistakes as you do to losing games, then that honestly sounds like you have a form of depression. I would highly recommend that you seek help for that (cognitive behavioral therapy is really good for minor depression and these sorts of overly self-critical thoughts, if there's someone in your area who does it).

In the meantime, try your best to remember that everyone loses sometimes. It's not a reflection on your worth; as you say, you're a good person, and you have people in your life who love you. Also, how do you react when you win? You don't laugh your head off at the other player, right? You're happy, sure, but you don't think less of the person. Most people react exactly the way you do, and those who gloat are dicks. Their reaction says more about them than about you.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

[otakugal15]

I know it's not on topic exactly....but how is that game? I want the Heartsteed....but I'm usually bad at card based games, which is what I'm lead to believe is this kind of game?