fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2670 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2670 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Dan Vs.]

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03.

[Mysterious Cities Of Gold]

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04.

[Sherlock]

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05.

[Drazen Bratulic]

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06.

[Captain America]

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07.

[Smash]

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08.

[El Goonish Shive]

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09.

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10. http://i59.tinypic.com/2eebuv6.jpg
[porn, Frozen, illustrated]

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11. [SPOILERS for Shameless US]

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12. [WARNING for suicide]

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13. [WARNING for rape]

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14. [WARNING for domestic violence]

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15. [WARNING for rape/sexual assault]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #381.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Do you use the opportunity to tell them how miserable they've made your work life for the past several years? Or do you take the high road, because they're still a human being - and more than that, you want to be a better person than them?

Depends. What are the odds you'll run into them again at another place of employment or within the same industry/field you both work in? What if you apply to another company a few years down the road and they're your boss, but you really, desperately need the job?

Yelling at a bully feels great. Burning bridges can feel great too, but there might be a price to pay later and you have to ask yourself if it'll be worth it.

Take the high road because you don't know if they are a psychopath. And if you reveal that what they did to you really bothered you, they will keep on doing things to you off the clock.

Just let it go.

AYRT

Given that I do think this guy is a very specific kind of manipulative, you're right - there's no telling what he could do if he had a chance.

YES. This anon is 100% correct.

Telling them off feels good for about five minutes, but you still become what they've been to you if you insult them. It's one thing to call someone out in the moment and say "hey, that's pretty fucked up. Come on, stop it."

It's totally different to go up to someone as they're leaving and go "hey, you fucked up with everything, go to hell."

Be bigger and just pretend they never existed.

My answer is to take the high road; I've had horrible coworkers who definitely deserved a good smack down, but getting fired's already enough of a "fuck you." Besides, you never know if you'll end up having to deal with these people again, and unless you or the other person changes industries or moves far away, there's a fair chance you might. Not to mention social media.

No. You do not use this opportunity to be an unprofessional asshole. Be glad you dont have to deal with this person anymore and let it go.

Take the high road.

And believe me, I know this is hard. I found out my least favorite co-worker is going away (hooray!) today and it was I could do not to break out into a rendition of 'Ding dong the bitch is gone.'

But no. Adulthood means we can't cuss people out, but we can drink wine and celebrate their absence!

High road. Always, always take the high road. Gloating just puts you on the bully's level.

Not if you gloat in private. In private, gloat and revel over their defeat all you like. Just don't DO anything in public that has the potential to come back and bite you on the ass.

This person I was having problems with left yesterday and I took that opportunity just not to be at work so I didn't have to fake being all "aww, it was nice working with you." Just leave it and think "good riddance." Don't give them the fucking satisfaction of knowing they got to you.

Edited 2014-04-26 00:07 (UTC)

No, because it would be unprofessional and possible to come back and bite me in the ass. Try to dismiss them from your mind and life. You don't want to risk also being fired.

But you can totally go home and smile and feel really good that the fucker is gone and you're still there.

You wish them luck on their future endeavors and silently thank karma.

There's no point in bringing it up unless there's a chance they'll get re-hired. The only thing you'll do is make them think you were the one who got them fired, and then they'd be pissed at you and blame you instead of taking responsibility. (Granted, they might not take responsibility anyway, but still.) It wouldn't erase the past and if they made you miserable for YEARS, I doubt they would apologize. The five minutes of smug satisfaction isn't worth it, IMO.

High road. Always.

Like others said, you never know when you'll run into that person again. They could be your next coworker at a new job, or heaven forbid, your new boss. Or they could be working at a place that has a vacancy you've had your eye on. I have no idea how this person bullied you, or how they truly viewed you as a person and coworker, but if you get on their case now, then it's possible THEY could have a hand in determining your future at a new XYZ company.

Take their shitty behavior as a lesson -- on how NOT to treat other coworkers, of course. Be glad you survived their hell. Taking the high road doesn't always have to be for the reason that "they're human too!" or "I'm better than them!" but because there's a time and place for everything, and tempting as it is, this may be one battle you don't want to pick.

No, of course not. That's just kind of pointless, and could bite you in the ass. What if one of your other colleagues overheard you or something? Then you'd be the super petty person who holds grudges.

I'd just be glad I didn't have to deal with them anymore, maybe talk about it with my non-work friends, and not seek out any extra contact with them, including bitching them out.

You take the high road because vengeance is pointless. They're gone now. That would be me, at least.

High road, because these scenes never play out in reality like they do in your head.

Your head version looks like this--
You: You're a nasty, bullying asshole and nobody here will miss you because you make our work lives miserable!
Them: Why... why I oughtta... [gawps silently, gets pushed into a swimming pool]

The real world looks like this--
You: You're a nasty, bullying asshole and nobody here will miss you because you make our work lives miserable!
Them: Well, better that than a petty, cowardly little shit who can't even speak their mind until they think they'll never have to talk to someone again. By the way, you're welcome for all the times I covered your semi-competent ass and you never even knew about it. And incidentally, since you're speaking on behalf of our coworkers, let me claim the same privilege and say that you might be in for some eye-opening confrontations on YOUR last day, assuming they're all as unprofessional as you are. Toodles!

Okay, might not be word-for-word like that, but... in real life people always have a comeback that you were not prepared for.

The only time actually saying anything might be worth it would be if there was any chance they were unaware they were being a nasty bully and would stop if you let them know. Given that they were fired presumably your superiors knew your coworker was a bullying shitrag. Your coworker most likely had lots of chances to stop being an asshole over the years and didn't take them; you telling them they were a horrible bully won't be a revelation to them, it'll just make you look bad.

[ SECRET POST #2670 ]

So if a nasty, bullying coworker gets fired...

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